Entangled in Food Addiction

Lord, I’ve become entangled in food addiction again. I’ve been in this trap of defeat for several years now. Really all my life I have struggled with my weight and food addiction.

What’s humiliating is that after You healed me with a weight loss miracle of losing 90 pounds in 2014, I backslid. Yes, in 2017, I backslid and regained 30 0f those pounds.

Although I’ve maintained a weight loss of 60 pounds, I’m ashamed of regaining those 30 pounds. And now I’ve lost & regained the same 10 pounds over & over since 2020.

Lord, I wanted to help others defeat their food addiction, compulsive overeating, binge eating, gluttony, and bloating misery. But how can I help others when I, myself, am entangled in food addiction again?

Yes, here I am now due to my own wrong choices of yesterday. Lord, would You help me again to climb out of this hellhole of my own creation?

Entangled in Food Addiction

I have no strength to resist temptation, but I do want to help others climb out of their hellholes of food addiction. So how can I help them?

Child, I’m full of Almighty power- stronger than any other source. I am ALL power, stronger than your electricity and more powerful than lightening.

Don’t you think I have the power to defeat your food compulsions?

Yes Lord.

Then My Child, why don’t you come to Me first, before you put anything in your mouth- including your gum. As you chew your gum, practice thanking Me for your victories. When you chew your food, talk to Me.

As a matter of fact, even before you look at your food, talk to Me first about it. Talk to Me about all your concerns.

Talking to Me will bring you peace, henceforth destroying your need to stress eat. For then you’ll be stress praying instead of stress overeating.

Entangled in Food Addiction

Talking with Me will calm your spirit and mind, henceforth destroying the need for emotional eating. For then you’ll be emotional praying. And I will heal your emotions and fill you Myself with a calm and peaceful spirit. Wouldn’t that be better for you instead of a stuffed, bloated belly?

Talking with Me would bring you the pleasure of My sweet Presence, henceforth destroying the power of pleasure food temptations. And then you’d be experiencing the greatest sweet pleasure of life, My Presence surrounding you and within you.

When you’re full of My Presence, then you’re also full of My power and strength. Overall, you’d be full of My peace and My love.

Temptations would no longer defeat you for then you’d be walking in My power and My strength.

Now what do you choose, My Child?

Lord, I choose You. I want You. I want to be free, not entangled in food addiction. But Lord, I’m so weak. Would You help me, even though I backslid due to my own bad choices?

Child, the more of your time you spend in My Presence, the stronger you’ll become. You’ll be walking in My power.

Now come to Me for I love you. And I long to give you victory throughout all your life. As a matter of fact I long to grant all of My children victory over sin, shame and defeat.

I intend for all of My children to live victorious forevermore. For I AM victory. So all of Mine will be victorious too, as they seek to follow Me.

Lord, I’ve let myself become entangled again in food addiction by my own wrong choices. Please set me free from this prison, the one I created for myself. Help me make wise choices that will honor you.

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CHEW ON THIS

Set me free from my prison, that I may praise Your Name. Then the righteous will gather about me because of Your goodness to me. Psalms 142: 7 NIV

Come quickly, Lord, and answer me, for my depression deepens. Don’t turn away from me, or I will die. Let me hear of Your unfailing love each morning, for I am trusting You. Show me where to walk, for I give myself to You. . . . Teach me to do Your will, for You are my God. May Your gracious spirit lead me forward on a firm footing. Psalms 143: 7,8,10 NLT

At last we have freedom, for Christ has set us free! We must always cherish this truth and firmly refuse to go back into the bondage of our past. Galatians 5:1 TPT

You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love. Galatians 5:13 NIV

Eating With God

Eating with God, why did I stop eating as God instructed me? Back then I lost over 90 pounds (2014) as I ate in submission to how God led. At the beginning of that weight loss I ate only 3 meals a day for 40 days. Then the Lord led me to cut my food portions in half. It seemed so easy back then. At that time I was 62 years old.

Then . . . Don’t we always have a ‘then’.  So. . .  after three years of maintaining weight loss, I went back to my old habits and old ways. . . Then. . . This resulted in significant weight gain.

Romans 8:28 and trust

So I started talking to my weight loss counselor, God, again. And my goal is to eat in submission to His instructions, only three meals a day with half portions and nothing else.

During my previous experience of losing 90 pounds I had felt God’s Presence so strong. But now eating only three meals a day seems like a major struggle.

I do want God’s Presence with me all the time. The problem is I find so much pleasure and comfort in food.  I’m guilty of turning to food versus God just to deal with stresses of life.

So much bad news on television, riots, protests, CV-19, politicians arguing, and my church closed twice due to a CV-19 breakout. (Although now its’ open.) In addition to all this mess, I’m staying home most of the time with minimal social life,  except for my part time job.

Instead of seeking God’s Presence through all of this, I’m guilty of eating treats and zoning out on social media. So in addition to my initial weight gain, I’m now dealing with another 10 pounds gained during the shut-down.

Eating with god

Lord, I need Your help. Could I start over again with a new commitment to eat before You in obedience? Could I have another chance?

Child, I cautioned, rather impressed upon you not to eat that extra serving of no-carb pizza. But you got it anyway. 

Yes Sir. (Hanging my head down.)

It’s the surrender of your heart I desire. You want to lose weight, but I’m more interested in your heart. Now are you willing to start over again if that is what I lead you to do?

Yes Sir.

Then do so, for I intend to do a work in your heart that you’re unable to comprehend for now. 

Yes Sir. Thank you Lord for Your mercy.

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May you always be filled with the fruit of your salvation- the righteous character produced in your life by Jesus Christ. Philippians 1: 11 NLT

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13 NKJV 

Eating with God at work
At work, just before lunchbreak. Still eating with God.

Never thought I’d look like this at Christmas, wearing a mask in public. But praise God, He’s helped me lose 14 pounds so far. More to go. And it feels like freedom, eating with God, in submission to His will. Also my clothes are getting loose too. Praise God. Thank you Jesus. Thank you Holy Spirit.

Merry Christmas! God’s Presence brings us peace, freedom, and goodwill to all men!

Turnaround Victory

Turnaround victory“Turnaround victory”

Child, remember those words I spoke to your heart?

Yes Lord, You said I’d have a turnaround victory.  Then You instructed me to complete 40 days of semi-fasting. But I don’t think I can do it.

 Child, know you can do all things with My help. My instructions are simple. Complete 40 days of just three meals a day, half portions, and no snacks. You’ve fasted in prayer before. So now consider this a 40 day fast.

You can do this. For I am with you and I am on your side. 

Lord, there’s so many suffering now with so much heartache. And yet, here I am talking to You about food.

Child, when you give up extra food and eat half servings it’ll be a form of fasting. This’ll increase the power of your prayers. Just think how powerful your prayers would be for those suffering. Your prayers could bring a turnaround victory in your life and all those you intercede for.

I’m calling you to life of submission before Me. The real question is . . . are you willing to give up your food pleasure in exchange of an increase of My Presence within you? 

Instead of being sedated, drugged, or sleepy due to overeating, you’d have an increased alertness of My Holy Spirit within you. This’ll increase your strength and power to pray without ceasing. Then your eyes and your ears would open to see My power working throughout the earth and to hear My voice speaking within your heart.

So what do you want, a life of sedated apathy or a life of alertness with excitement? If you’re looking for excitement, then live in My Presence with your life yielded to My Holy Spirit. That’s excitement indeed. Everyday is full of joy, peace, and miracles. An open heart sees many miracles of turnaround victory. 

Fasting, even semi-fasting increases your ability to pray without ceasing. This doesn’t mean constantly praying your requests. Yes, I want your requests. But to pray without ceasing means constant communication with Me, not just during your so-called quiet time. 

You’ll be aware of My Holy Spirit every moment of your day, guiding you every step you take and with every word you say. Eating in submission helps you focus on real life, not sedated life. As a result you’ll have turnaround victory. 

So Child, what do you want? 

Oh Lord, I want a life full of Your Presence.

Then you must surrender your life, along with your eating, to Me. I’m calling you to a full, exciting, fulfilled life, not a sedated life full of apathy. I’m calling you to a life on fire with excitement, peace, and joy. So what do you choose?

Lord, I want You. But I’m so weak and defeated.

Child, let the weak say I am strong. 

How many people in the Bible were weak? But I used them in great and mighty ways to bring about turnaround victory. Just think, if all the weak people yielded themselves completely, I could fill them all with My Holy Spirit power. Now that would be a true turnaround victory. Turnaround Victory

If only they knew the victories I have planned for them. . . If only they knew. 

Child, I want you to live a life of victory, not defeat. I want all My children to live in complete victory, not defeat. That’s what I offer, turnaround and victory. 

I long for My people to wake up and walk in victory, the victory I have planned for each one. They don’t have to trudge through this life of clay, instead they can walk through an exciting life of victory. And they get to choose. 

Now Child, what do you choose? Choose well, My child. Choose well.

New VictoryGod's mercy

 

 

 

Old Lies or New Truth

Old lies or new truth, what do you listen to? Specifically what do you speak in self-talk, old lies or new truth? Here’s some examples of old lies and new truths I’ve heard:

1. Old Lie: “You’re fat and ugly too.” This was the #1 lie I’ve heard throughout my life, a lie from Satan.                                        This picture was made in May 2013.

New Truth: You’re created in God’s image. So you’re beautiful. After all, God don’t make ugly. In fact He delights in you just as you are. And He sings over you too.

The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in His love, He will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing. Zephaniah 3:17 NKJV

2. Old Lie: “You’re a failure. You can’t stick to a diet. Even if you lost weight, you’ll just gain it back.” This lie competes with #1 for first place.Romans 8:28 and trust

Truth: With God on your side, you’re guaranteed victory. “Never a failure. Always a lesson.”

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13 NKJV

But thanks be to God, who gives us victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. 1 Corinthians 15:57 NKJV 

3. Old Lie : You’re older now, so its harder to lose weight. After all, your metabolism has slowed down to nothing. So why try? Just quit. Eat all you want and enjoy life.

New Truth: Eating, although pleasurable, is not the source of joy in life. Living in God’s Presence is the ultimate source of joy. And He will fill you with His joy, true joy unspeakable.

You have made known to me the ways of life; You will make me full of joy in Your Presence. Acts 2:28 NKJV

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13 NKJV

4. Old Lie: Everything’s going wrong today. So go ahead, eat some comfort food. Then you’ll feel better. Food is comfort and pleasure. After all, you’re under a lot of stress. So get a treat.

New Truth: Overeating causes more stress. When your clothes get tight, the scales go up, and shame comes due to overeating, you have more stress.

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6 NKJV

God’s Presence brings peace and victory. So what do you listen to, lies or truth? You choose.

*Free, Not Held in Bondage *

My children are to be free, not held in bondage to any one person or group, not even to their own self-inflicted bondage. I came to set My people free. Yes, free indeed. I died for your freedom from sins and theirs too. 

Continue reading *Free, Not Held in Bondage *

How Not to Fast – Brilliant

How Not to Fast- Brilliant

After 21 days of semi-fasting I only lost 4 pounds. What? This can’t be right!

Continue reading How Not to Fast – Brilliant

Why Can’t I Eat What I Want Now?

Lord, what do You want me to eat today? While this past week I thought I was following Your directions . . . except for a few desserts. Since I gained 2 pounds, I’m at a loss. Lord, I want to give up and just eat everything. Why can’t I eat what I want now? And eat it all. Why can’t I?

Even though I want to eat everything, I know this won’t help my situation. So would You please help me with food selection? Now tell me, do I try to semi-fast for 40 days? Rather should I give up desserts since that’s my problem?

Child, you haven’t succeeded yet with fasting your social media or eating after supper. So what do you want? Do you want more instructions, or rather more rules?  Rules that you know you won’t follow?

Oh Lord, I don’t know. All I do know is that I want my size 10 pants back. How do I get them back? What can I do to make these scales go down instead of up? Why can’t I have my size 10’s and eat everything I want? Why can’t I?

You have much to learn. 

Lord, at my age, you’d think I would already know what I need to know.

Child, you are only beginning to learn. Now what do you want more, those size 10 pants, or My Presence?

Lord, I know what the correct answer should be. But I really want my size 10 pants back?

Ahhh, . . . what I have here is an honest child.

Lord, I might as well tell You the truth. You already know all things, so why lie to You? Can You help me? Will You help me?

Child, I’m going to do more than that. You watch and see. 

There is more to come and more to come off too. And I’m not just talking about your weight. There is more to come off of you, My child, characteristics, habits, wrong thoughts, and bad attitudes, not to mention your selfishness. I am going to change you completely in all ways.

Lord, I’m scared. After all, I don’t like pain and this sounds painful.

Trust Me, My child. Doubt, that’s the first thing you are going to lose. Doubt.

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For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. Roman 8: 5

Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. Romans 8:37

You see, every child of God overcomes the world, for our faith is the victorious power that triumphs over the world. So who are the conquerors, defeating its power? Those who believe that Jesus is the Son of God. 1 John 5: 4,5 The Passion Translation

Fasting- Holy 30 Devotional** – Day 13 & Day 14

*Lord, what do I do today? What do I eat? Do I fast? I’ve been fasting all day and then in the evening I go crazy and eat everything. I’m gaining weight trying to fast. Guess I’m just not a good “faster”. (*Insert from below)

Lord, I’m sorry I ate all that last night. Help me focus on You. Direct my steps, words, actions, and my thoughts so that all I am and do is according to Your will today and everyday. Your will, not mine, be done.

Thank you for loving me. We both know I don’t deserve it. Forgive my sin of gluttony. Help me to turn away from this sin. And Lord, I want back in my clothes. You know, those size 10’s hanging in the closest.

Child, you don’t think of these things when you are reaching forth for more food to eat. 

Yes Sir, You’re right. It’s as though my mind goes blank, and I don’t think at all except for “What can I eat now?’

Lord, what do I do today? What do I eat? Do I fast? I’ve been fasting all day and then in the evening I go crazy and eat everything. I’m gaining weight trying to fast. guess I’m not a good “faster”.

Do I try to fast again today? Do I just eat soup, just soup today? Once I fasted for 40 days only eating soup and I lost 15 lbs. in one month.

Lord, it seems I’m so weak spiritually now. I’m unable to fast, just can’t succeed at it. I go crazy at the end of the day being a human vacuum cleaner. What can I do? What do You want me to do?

Child, today you wait until your stomach growls before you eat anything. That is your fasting for today. 

After your stomach growls, then come to Me and ask Me what to eat. I’ll tell you then what I want you to eat. What I do want, My child, is for you to look to Me for your guidance. You are being trained to look for My guidance in everything, even to what you eat. I want you to depend on Me for everything. 

The reason you didn’t succeed at following man-made rules for weight loss is because rules don’t change the heart. 

It is your heart that loves the food. Misplaced love. I desire for you to love Me above all else, especially your food. I want you to love Me with all your heart, soul, and mind first  above all else. 

Child, I gave you success before in weight loss and I will again. Only this time you are to never go back. Determine in your heart to seek My love first and above all. You know the sense of shame and failure that gluttony brings. Why would you go back?

Lord, I don’t know. Please don’t turn me over to a reprobate mind where I just eat and eat mindlessly.  And then I grow bigger and bigger until I blow up.

As long as you seek Me that will never happen. Don’t be afraid. Know I am with you and I will guide you each step, each day. But you must seek My will throughout your day, not just in the morning quiet time. 

Child, just as you eat three meals a day, spend quality time in My Presence three times a day. You should focus on spending time with me throughout your day. So this is  your “new diet plan”, spend time with Me at least at least three times a day.  

Lord, what do I do, carry a notebook with me everywhere I go?

If that is what it takes, then I say, “Go for it.” If that is what helps you focus on Me and My Presence versus your food, yes do it. You have a victory notebook. Use it.

I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. Galatians 5:16 NKJV

“Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty [emancipation from bondage, true freedom].” ‭‭2 Corinthians 3:17‬ ‭AMP

For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.             Romans 8:5-6 

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**The short devotional, “Holy 30” (See picture of Day 13 and Day 14.) is based on  I Peter 1:16. It was published by First Baptist of Tillman’s Corner.  I didn’t write any of this devotional, but I do have permission to share it with you.

If you would like some additional information about our church check out this website:    http://www.fbtc.org/ . You can also listen to some sermons from our pastors. Enjoy them, I do.

Also if you click on the underlined scripture tab, you will be connected to Bible Gateway. This is a great source for locating Bible scriptures through the computer.

#Holy 30

Do You See The Lights? It’s A Dream.

Lana_1_1Have you ever seen the heavenly “lights” of God, either the brightness of angels or even the Light of God? I haven’t, but I’m looking for them. This all began with a dream I had the other night about “The Lights”. After you read this, let me know what you think about my dream.

To begin with, Lana was in my dream. She was my bestest (Is that a word?) BFF, my most beloved friend. Sept.1, 2014 was the day of she entered Heaven. I celebrate her victory.

For six years I visited her once a week unless I went out of town or was sick.  We enjoyed praying and studying the Bible together.  She’d share her secrets with me  and I vice versa. She’d tell me how God spoke to her heart and I’d write these thoughts down for her. She encouraged me to listen for God’s voice and to write what He spoke to me too. My time spent with her is one of the greatest treasures of my life memories. She’s with God now, talking with Him face to face. Oh, and she’s probably dancing for Him too.

Lana had been bedridden with M.S. for over 18 years and was completely paraplegic. She could only move her head, but Lana was the most beautiful person I have ever known. Her smile would light up the entire room. I’ll always believed she had a straight connection to God Himself. Now she’s living with Him in that “good” neighborhood. She once shared a dream with me about being in Heaven. She said, “I lived in that “good” neighborhood too. Jesus’ house was just over the hill. ” At that time I laughed at her because in Heaven everyone lives in a good neighborhood. I’m smiling as I write this.

Lana’s mother and mine were best friends throughout our childhoods, but somehow we never connected until adulthood, by then she was bedridden. Lana  made such an impression on my life. I want to be just like her, except for the paraplegic part. I want to have her connection with God,  her outgoing personality, her love for God’s Word, and her genuine interest and concern for others. Lana might have been contained in her bedroom, but her prayers impacted the world.

She spent her time either watching  preachers on television since she was homebound, shopping QVC for the same reason (Others made the phone calls for her), or listening to the Bible by audio. She could quote you different scriptures too. But most of all she spent her time praying for others. She prayed for everyone she knew and others she didn’t know. She prayed for world leaders, people-groups within different countries and over current events in the news. When God allowed her to enter Heaven, the world lost one of its greatest prayer warriors and I lost my best friend. He took her home on September 1, 2014 and I’ve missed her ever since.

This was my dream:

Life was busy. We’re all were running to and fro, back and forth to many different activities, all except Lana. Her first focus was to always look for the Light. Wherever she was the Light would come, shine over her and talk with her. She was with the Light so much we could see the twinkles of many lights surrounding her. Every time she talked with the Light she was surrounded by many twinkling lights and she glowed as she reflected this Light.

She spent so much in the presence of the Light with those twinkling lights surrounding her that we started watching. When we would see the twinkling lights come forth, then we knew she was coming to talk with Light. As we watched from a distance she talked with the Light and glowed in His love.

Then one day Lana left to be with Him. She was gone. I thought to myself, “I miss her, but I’m going to miss seeing the Light too, now that’s she gone.” I wondered if we’d ever see the lights again since she was gone now.

As I looked around, it’s dark and the sky is foreboding. A powerful wind is blowing and leaves are swirling about. Storm clouds are brewing.

Then Yahweh speaks to my heart, “Child, look for the Light. The Light will come to you if only you will look for it. Look for the Light, My child.”

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Then Jesus spoke to them again, saying, “I am the Light of the world. He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but have the Light of life.” John 8:12

Arise, shine; for your Light has come! And the glory of the Lord is risen upon you. Isaiah 60:1  (This was one of Lana’s favorite verses.)

For it is the God who commanded light to shine out of darkness, who has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.  2 Corinthians 4:6

The city had no need of the sun or of the moon to shine on it, for the glory of God illuminated it. The Lamb is its light. Revelations 21:23

 

 

Worry

img_9148Worry . . .  Lord, I need You for so much. Every time I venture off without talking to You first, I mess up everything.  I just want to make You proud of me and now I’ve created another mess by pushing the wrong buttons. Help me. Ahhhhh! Continue reading Worry