Lord, I need a new heart. First, I want to thank you for Your peace. But I think I really need a new heart. Would You guide me, direct me, and lead me to Your will? I praise up to You for who You are, the God of all. Would You guide my mouth and my thoughts so they honor You? I want Your will in all things. Please take all thoughts out of my heart if they’re not pleasing to You. Lord, You know Your will and that’s what I want.
Child, I am teaching you throughout all this you call life. I am teaching you.
Lord, please forgive me for being selfish. I know it’s selfish, but I do want my size 10″s back. I know I backslid into binge eating, but is it possible? Would You allow me to return back to where I was? I know You’re a God of mercy and forgiveness. And I know that I willingly went into the gluttony/binge eating with the way I loved food. Also I have to admit and confess that I still love food. The only hope for me is if You take this desire away from my heart. Help me to desire You more than my necessary food.
There are so many suffering from such hardships, struggles, even persecutions, and yet, I’m asking forgiveness for my own selfishness. Also I ask for Your help within my eating and to lose this extra weight.
I do want to stay in Your will. It was my greed and selfishness that caused me to overeat to begin with. You delivered me of the excess weight of 90 pounds. Yet, I returned to my binge eating after walking in this deliverance for almost two years.
Lord, can I go back to where I once was? I guess my priorities are still wrong because I’m more focused on my size 10’s instead of my relationship with You. Help me to focus more on You and Your will for each of my days. Change me and make me into what You want me to be, whether it’s the size I am now or back to what I once was.
All I know now Lord, is just make me into what You want me to be, size 10 or not. I give myself to You, do with me what You want. I surrender.
Child, others can lose weight with head knowledge. But you, . . . I demand your heart. It’s time for more surgery, another heart circumcision. I’m going to cut this love of food from your heart. From now on, food will not control you. I’m cutting out this misplace love of food and putting in more love both for Me and for others.
Thank you Lord.
I have set the Lord always before me; Because He is at my right hand I shall not be moved. Psalm 16:8NKJV
Lord, is it possible to have a new beginning with You again? Could You forgive me about last nights ice cream? Oh, and the cookies, chips, nuts, and granola bar too. Please forgive me for last night’s binge. And, thank you the scales didn’t go up this morning. That’s a sure miracle. Your mercy amazes me, especially with all my mess-ups. and backsliding.
My friend has been fasting in prayer for her brother who’s sick. She’s lost noticeable weight and looks good too. Yes, I do want to lose more weight, but I also want to maintain the fullness of Your Presence. I want to feel victorious so I can pray without feeling ashamed due to my own sins of gluttony. It’s my desire to make You proud as I eat in submission to Your will. You know what’s best for my body and I trust You. I just have a weakness resisting pleasure food. Help me, allow me to start over again with You.
Child, I’m the God of many second chances. I died so that you (and others too) could be cleansed and delivered from ALL sins. I died so that you could enter into the Almighty Presence of God. None is worthy. No, not one. It’s only because of the price I paid, the shedding of My blood as a sacrifice – the price I gave freely so that you and others could enter in My Presence.
Lord, how can I make You proud?
Love Me, seek Me, and trust Me. Listen and obey, for there is no other way. There’s much truth in that child’s song. Let the little children lead you. Behold, how easily they trust and love. You should do the same. Follow their example. There’s much truth in the saying, “The little children shall lead them.”
Okay Lord, I’ll try. But I need Your guidance. How do You want me to eat so I can be a testimony of Your forgiveness and Your delivering power? Others who are struggling need to know You can deliver them, especially when what they need is deliverance from their own selves? That’s what causes most of all my problems- self, myself.
Lord, do You want me to eat only two meals a day or just three meals a day, give up all desserts, or just give all my favorite pleasure foods? Do I wait until I am physically hungry to eat? Do I only eat half portions? Should I get hungry and stay hungry?
Yesterday I started out with intentions to eating only two meals. Then I got real hungry and ate past full. Later last night, I rationalized that ice cream could be my third meal. Well, we both know where that led to – another binge. I should have drank something instead.
Now I’m at another bottom with my weight. This is the biggest I’ve since 2014. I want my size 10 pants back. Where do You want me with my eating and my weight? Help me obey You and eat what is good for this body You gave me. I want to become stronger, both physically and spiritually, mentally too.
Child, as You seek My will for your eating, some days you’ll be led to eat only two meals, and some days three meals. Occasionally, I may lead you to eat no meals. Each day will be a new beginning. These new beginnings won’t be the same as a new beginning after a binge, but a new day of learning to trust Me and walking in My will.
I want you to learn how to trust, listen, and then obey as I lead you. With each new day as you practice these skills, You will grow stronger. Again, your focus is not to follow rules, but instead your focus will be to deny yourself and follow Me. I want you to learn how to deny yourself and become stronger in My Presence. When your self is completely defeated, then your victory is achieved. Self is your enemy. You must learn and become efficient in defeating self.
Thank you Lord for talking with me and giving me Your instructions yet another time in my struggles with this food addiction. I’m amazed over Your mercy and Your love toward me. You have shown me yet another time of mercy. This I know, I don’t deserve Your love. I can’t earn it, but I want it. Thank you for loving me. Help me to please You in every way that I am or ever will be.
. . . do not worry about your life, what you will eat nor about the body, what you will put on. Life is more than food and the body is more than clothing. Luke 12:22-23.
. . . choose life, . . . that you may love the Lord your God, that you may obey His voice, and that you may cling to Him, for He is your life . . . Deuteronomy 30: 19-20
Grace, mercy, and peace will be with you from God the Father and from the Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of the Father, in truth and love. 2 John 1:3
Lord, I want to bring You glory, not for me, but for You. Not only show me how, but also could You help me so that I could bring You honor and praise. , I want to ask You Also Lord, I want to ask if You would forgive me for returning back to my old ways of overeating consequently damaging the testimony of Your delivering power in my life.
And He said to her, “Daughter, be of good cheer. Your faith has made you well. Go in peace.” Luke 8:48
Child, this verse applies to you as well. Not only am I watching over you, but also I know of your weaknesses. So now move forth toward your victory. No longer hold your head down, but look up instead for your victory is coming. In fact I’m giving you victory. Look up and be excited about life for it’s a wonderful gift I’ve given to you. Instead of extra food, I want you filled with excitement, be filled with optimism, and be filled with My Spirit. Rejoice My Child for victory is yours.
Thank you Lord for Your mercy. I can hear those chains of food bondage falling off now.
Oh, what joy for those whose disobedience is forgiven, whose sin is put out of sight! Yes, what joy for those whose record the Lord has cleared of guilt, whose lives are lived in complete honestly! . . . . . . I confessed all my sins to you and stopped trying to hide my guilt. I said to myself, “I will confess my rebellion to the Lord.” And You forgave me! All my guilt is gone. . . . . . The Lord says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you. Psalms 32: 1,2, 5, 8. NLT
I’ve blotted out your sins; they are gone like morning mist at noon! Oh, return to me, for I have paid the price to set you free. Isaiah 44:22 TLB
Lord, thank you for setting me free. I hear the chains falling off.
PERSONAL DISCLOSURE CONCERNING ADVERTISEMENTS:
I’ve decided to add advertisements to this blog. To begin with, if I published through a free site others would place their own advertisements here. Then we’d be subject to their choices even if we didn’t agree with their choices. So why should I allow others to advertise on this blog?
If I choose to monetize, then I get to choose the advertisements. Therefore I can choose advertisements I approve of and willing to purchase myself. If it doesn’t meet my standards, then you won’t see the advertisement.
A while back I use a free site for this blog and they advertised how Twinkies could help you through your rough times. See how letting others choose their advertisements won’t work for me. I’ll never advertise products to feed your or my food addiction.
I struggled with using advertisements. But after reading “The Parable of the Talents” in Matthew 25:14-30, I concluded that advertisements could help to support blog expenses. Please don’t feel obligated in any way to order from any of these advertisements unless you want to.
The first advertisement:
Yes, this is the book I wrote with God’s help. To order, just click on the book button and you’ll be redirected to Amazon.com. Then I’ll receive a small commission from them for my own book. Why not?
If you decide to order from any other advertisements posted on this blog, I’ll receive a small commission from that company. But rest assured, I’ll never use advertisements I don’t approve, or be willing to order myself. As a matter of fact, I plan on ordering this Amazon Prime after publishing this post so I can make commission from my own order. How’s that for a plan.
Now give Me your broken heart so I may fill it with My love. Come to Me, My child. Allow Me to hold you and heal your broken heart. Yes, you can cry. Especially cry out your pain. Release it to Me and I will heal your brokenness.
But I have trusted in Your mercy; my heart shall rejoice in Your salvation. Psalm 13:5
Lord , I can’t even believe what I did last night. I’m so ashamed. Even my friend questioned my lack of self-control. You know I have no self-control. In fact, I’ve never had self- control. So I guess I’m just an embarrassment to You. Lord, I really don’t want to be an embarrassment to You
Child, you aren’t an embarrassment. And you won’t be, for I have you covered by My Blood.
Child, I’m here to wash your feet.
Oh Lord, You know how dirty I am.
Child, I love you in spite of your dirty feet, dirty hands, and even your dirty face. What I long for is your heart. I want your heart. I want your desire to be more for Me rather than your sin pleasures. If only you could know the peace I could give you. After all, there is pleasure in a clean heart. Come, allow Me to cleanse your heart. Then once your heart is clean, your feet, your hands, ,and your face will follow.
Give Me your heart. Once you fall in love with Me, your eyes will not be so enticed with the pleasures of sin. You’ll only have eyes for Me. Love Me, My child, for only I can cleanse your heart of all your hurts, pains, and disappointments.Only I can heal what is broken. Only I can restore what has been stolen by the enemy.
Come to Me. Allow Me to hold you and heal your broken heart. Yes, you can cry now. Cry out your pain. Release it to Me and I will heal your brokenness.
You’ve been looking for love in others. Overall, they will always disappoint you. Look to Me for perfect love for I will never disappoint you. Seek My love and you will find the one true love you have always wanted. Given that humans are incapable of the love you desire. Only I can fill that need. Come to Me.
Lord, thank you for these words of comfort and love for me. They are indeed special to my heart. I’m so sorry I’ve embarrassed You. I do so want to make You proud. Please forgive me.
Lord, I don’t want to be an example of backsliding. Instead I want to be an example of Your victory.
My child, indeed you already are one of My victories. I love you.
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Romans 8:1
In all these things we are more than conquerors through Him that loved us. Whatsoever is born of God overcometh the world, even our faith. Romans 8:37
So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. John 8:36
You will show me the paths of life; in Your Presence is fullness of joy; at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore. Psalm 16:11
Miracles still happen. Yes, in spite of my stupidity, miracles still happen. For those enquiring minds who want to know, from March 19th to March 25, I’ve lost 4 1/2 pounds. Wow! Yes, God still works miracles today. Ya’ll hear me? He still works miracles.
What follows now is a my eating record. Overall it’s boring, yet at the same time it’s amazing how God has showed me grace and forgiveness. To all you who focus on healthy eating, please accept my apology. Once you read this, you’ll realize if I can lose weight in spite of all these mess-ups, surely you can lose weight too. You’ll see. After all, you’ll be amazed at the amount of grace God has, both for me and you too.
Beginning 3/19, MONDAY: Lord, what do I eat for breakfast today? (Ate- wheat toast with butter, 1/2 cup apple juice, & 1 tablespoon chicken salad.) Lord, can I have two tablespoons chicken salad? – [No] – Lord, can I have a pear half with mayo & cheese? [Yes, you may. But choose the smallest one.]
Mid-morning: Lord, I have such severe indigestion. Can I have one no sugar added fudgsicle? (Ate one. Granted it helped, but I didn’t wait for an answer.)
Lunch: Lord, can I have more chicken salad? [Yes, but only two spoonfuls. No more.]
Later afternoon: Lord, this indigestion is awful. Since the first one helped, can I have another fudgsicle? (Ate two. Granted they helped my indigestion. But again, I didn’t wait for an answer.)
Supper: (Ate 1 bowl of corned beef and cabbage, 1/2 piece cornbread, & 1 roasted chicken leg.)
3/20, TUESDAY: Lord, lead me today concerning Your will, what I am to eat, not eat, cook, not cook, do, not do, think, not thin, and say, not say.
Breakfast: Lord, what do I eat now? [Are you hungry?] –No. – [Then wait until you’re hungry.]
After 8:15 am : Lord, this indigestion is horrible. Because of this, may I have a fudgsicle for breakfast to calm my stomach down? [Yes.] I think it’s the Vitamin D pill the doctor prescribed. Finally, I checked Google for side-effects. However indigestion as a side effect was not listed. (Since they do calm my stomach, I ate one fudgsicle.)
9 am: (Still had indigestion. Therefore I ate another fudgsicle.)
11am: Lord, what do I eat for lunch? (Ate leftover corned beef & cabbage with small piece of cornbread.)
45 mins. after lunch: (Ate 1 small roasted chicken leg.) Lord, could I have some chicken salad? [No.]
1 pm.: (There was leftover chocolate cake from Dad’s birthday on the table.) Lord I want some chocolate cake. – [No.]
Supper: (I didn’t write it down. Now I’ve forgotten. Sorry.)
Just before bed: Lord, I just ate two more fudgsicles. I didn’t care, didn’t ask, just ate them. Forgive me. Lord, make my heart want You more than anything.
3/21, WEDNESDAY: Lord, do I weigh myself this morning? [No, trust Me.] Lord, this is hard. [Trust Me Child.]
Breakfast: 2 tablespoons chicken salad, 3 apple slices.
9:45am.- I’m hungry with slight indigestion. (Drank one bottle of water.)
10:30am. -(Ate another fudgsicle.)
Lunch: (Two tablespoons chicken salad, 1 pear half with mayo & cheese.)
Supper: (Lettuce, tomato, & carrots with Ranch dressing, 1/2 hamburger patty, and handful of fried okra.)
3/22 THURSDAY: 6:45 am. -Lord, I’m hungry. What do I eat for breakfast? When do I eat? (Ate nothing, got busy, sidetracked.)
11:13am.- Lord, is it okay to leftover corned beef & cabbage? How about more chicken salad? [Yes on corned beef & cabbage, but only 1 tablespoon chicken salad and nothing else.] – – ( Ate corned beef & cabbage, 1 tablespoon chicken salad, and a little piece of cornbread.)
Supper: (Ate piece of roasted chicken, stir-fry vegetables, & salad with Ranch dressing.) Lord, I really want a piece of that pecan pie. (To begin with I resisted it. Then I ate a small pie of pecan pie. Afterwards, I wanted more pie, so I got a fudgsicle. Then I threw half of it away after feeling convicted.)
3/23 FRIDAY: Breakfast (Ate 1 tablespoon of chicken salad, 2 apple slices, 1/2 ham & cheese sandwich.)
Lunch: (Ate 1/2 bowl of pink eyed purple hulled peas, the best ever, 1/2 bowl of green beans & potatoes, and 2 slices apple.)
BINGE: (Ate 1/2 box of fudgsicles, and four or more pieces of Dad’s chocolate birthday cake. )
Supper: (Ate one fried chicken leg, new potatoes, and salad with Ranch dressing.)
While cleaning up the kitchen: (Ate right out of the pot, a lot of leftover potatoes.) Lord, forgive me.
3/24 SATURDAY: First thing, I started to weigh myself first to check for damage control. The Lord spoke to my heart, “Don’t weigh today, wait until Monday. Follow My eating plan for you. Trust Me and see what I will do.”
Supper: We had a family potluck. I followed my sister-in-law’s advice, “Just get only three spoonfuls of what you want.” So I had a little of everything including a spoonful of homemade cheesecake and peach cobbler. Okay, confession, I got more peach cobbler.
3/25 SUNDAY: First thing, I started to weigh myself. The Lord again spoke to my heart, ” Child, your weight is not important to Me. It’s your heart I’m interested in.”
Breakfast: (Ate 1/2 bowl Rice Chex with milk.)
Lunch: (Ate salad with Ranch dressing, and 3 bowls, yes 3 bowls, of baked steak, new potatoes, and carrots. ) Lord, forgive me, but it was so good.
Supper: I was still full from lunch, so I choose not to eat anything. After all, I’m going to weigh myself in the morning. Since I’m still full, I just won’t eat anything now.
After 9pm.- (Ate 4 fudgsicles. )
After 10pm. (Ate two bowls of leftover lima beans with ham.) Then I waddled off to bed shaking my head at myself. I can’t believe I ate all this. Now how’s this going to affect those scales in the morning?
After all these mess-ups, when I weighed myself Monday morning, the scales said I had lost 4 1/2 pounds. Wow! Now you know why I said, “God is a God of miracles. If He did it for me, the champion of mess-ups, certainly He will work a miracle in your life too.
Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down; for the Lord upholds him with His hand. Psalm 37:24
. . . Mercy triumphs over judgement. James 2: 13
But I have trusted in Your mercy; my heart shall rejoice in Your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, because He has sealth bountifully with me. Psalm 13:5,6
Amazing love, how can it be? Why do You love me Lord? I certainly don’t deserve Your love. After all, we both know how I am.
I love those who love Me, and those who seek Me diligently will find Me. Proverbs 8:17
Lord, above all else I need You in My life. Without You I’m nothing, but a mess. Would You guide me, lead me, and help me follow Your will for today? How about being in control of my whole life, all of me? I’ve been trying to handle these struggles of life on my own and I’m so tired.
Create in me a clean heart and a steadfast spirit. Psalm 51:10
Would You grant me a testimony of Your delivering power so others will know You can deliver them too. I want them all to know of Your amazing love. Then let each one of them also have their own testimony of Your delivering power, so we can help each other. Also I want my size 10 pants back.
Child, you will have those size 10 pants back. And you are a testimony of My love. I love you just as you are. After all you can’t earn My love for I freely give it to those who desire My love.
Thank you Lord for loving me. I know I don’t deserve it.
Child, I hear your prayers and your heart cries. I see. I know. All is well between us for My forgiveness is freely given , not earned. Don’t worry about trying to deserve or achieve My love for I freely give it without strings attached and without demanding repayment, or recompense. I repeat, there is nothing you can do to earn My love. It’s a free gift and I give it to those who seek it. Now I give it to you.
Thank you Lord.
Being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ. Philippians 1:6
Child of Mine, I always finish what I start no matter how many steps you take backwards. I still finish what I start, always, even My work in you.
Here I am again Lord, all bloated, full, miserable, and ashamed, wondering, “How did I get here?” I sense that my overeating has created a gulf between me and You. I feel that as I overfed my fleshly desires, your presence left. Didn’t I say yesterday that I wanted to be free of this bondage? Then last night, I was in the kitchen stuffing my face until well after 10p.m. Lord, how can I ever break free from this vicious cycle of defeat? Continue reading CONFESSION