Edge of Victory

Lord, my temptations have not brought me the joy of victory. No, instead they’ve brought failure and defeat. I’ve failed all the tests and have become completely entangled again in bingeing and eating until I’m sick, bloated, and gaining weight. Now I’m standing here before You in guilt and shame at the edge of failure.

No . . . My Child, you’re not standing at the edge of failure. You’re now standing at the edge of victory. Call on My Name – Jesus- for I am your victory.

Lord, I thought I was at victory before, but here I am now back at binge land. At this moment I’m the heaviest I’ve been since 2014. My face has been in the feeding trough, the slop bucket. In the book, “Jesus Calling” by Sarah Young,  (pg. 321) You stated that You weren’t repelled by our weaknesses. No, instead You said Your power was attracted to our weakness. How can You be attracted by my gluttony?

Yes My child, I am drawn to your weakness for I long to help those I love. I always want to help you succeed just as you always want to help those you love. For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4:15-16 NKJV

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My Child, I’ve come to offer you mercy, grace, and help you in your need of deliverance. Now I want to see you free of all this that has you entangled in bondage.

Lord, I feel nothing.

My child, you don’t have to feel Me to know I am with you.

Lord, I’m miserable now.

My child, I know this for I designed it that way. At the time you’re in sin, it seems enjoyable, but eventually sin brings forth great misery.  Without the misery within sin, you wouldn’t cry out to Me.

Lord, I’m at another bottom, a sinkhole of misery. I feel as though I’m sinking in a food vat, a greasy food vat. Lord, I want what we once had before. I want to return to my joy within Your Presence. Can I come back to You?

Child, come here.

Lord, I don’t know what to do now.

Come here, I will lead you.

Lord, I want more of You.

Then My child, let go. Let go of what is in your hand because you can’t receive unless you let go.

Have mercy upon me, O God,
According to Your lovingkindness;
According to the multitude of Your tender mercies,
Blot out my transgressions.
Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,
And cleanse me from my sin. Psalm 51:1-2

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Lord, would You cleanse me, wash me, and deliver me again from my own sin of  destruction. Overall I feel doomed to keep repeating this sin of gluttony.

My child, in fact you aren’t doomed for I’ve already set you free.  As a matter of fact it was My Blood that paid the price required for your freedom.

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He has delivered us from the power of darkness and conveyed us into the kingdom of the Son of His love, in whom we have redemption through His blood the forgiveness of sins. Colossians 1:13-14

* Note: The Lord is helping me. Yes I made a lot of wrong choices, but praising God for His love, mercy and forgiveness. I’ve lost 4 pounds since writing this post. I don’t understand how He could be so patient with me.

I remember back in 2014, a potential publisher told me, “If we publish your book, you can never gain your weight back. It would be an embarrassment to our company.”

Someone once told me that angels are watching us and cheering us on. It’s occurred to me that I must follow God’s will especially with my eating. After all, when I overeat am I embarrassing God in front of His angels?

I’m so grateful He is giving me another chance to eat with Him again. Thank you Lord for Your love and mercy.

He’s patient with you too. He is full of love and mercy for you too, no matter what your past choices were. Go to Him and tell Him all about your issues. I promise He’ll listen. If He listens to me, He will listen to you. He loves you ever so greatly.

 

Victorious – All Mine Are Victorious, Including You.

“Victorious, all of Mine are victorious, including you.”

Lord, I overate last night. Why? Why am I doing this? I don’t want this behavior, I want to walk in total victory to show others how You give victory. Today I feel like a hypocrite. I’m so embarrassed before You.

Child, not only can you not control others, but you can’t control yourself either. So why do you keep trying? Just let go and trust Me. When was the last time you waited before eating to seek My will?

Uh. . . .

If you wait, listen for My voice to guide  you, and walk in My directions for your day, then you will have victory. Quit holding on to what is not good for you, whether it’s unnecessary food, worry, doubt, or fear.  Let go of all that is in your hand. Allow Me to take this weight of burdens heavy on your back.  Give it all to Me. Do you remember your goals for this year, trust, listen, wait, let go, and pray?

Child, it seems you have wandered off the path and gotten distracted by many things. Fix your eyes and your heart on Me for I am your King and your Source of all you need, whether it’s finances, strength, wisdom, peace, or even faith. I can provide all you need.

For now, just focus on the joy of My Presence and allow Me to take care of all the rest of your concerns. If you focus on My Presence, you will be filled with My joy and that can enable you to survive the struggles of life. Being filled with My joy guarantees joy victory no matter the circumstances for I am victory. I delight in bringing victory to what looks like defeat. To the world My cross looked like defeat, but to Me, My cross brought victory, for I am victory.  I love you, child, and I give to you the gift of victory, victory over your sins, victory over defeat, victory over worry, and victory over fear. I am victorious, therefore all of Mine are victorious, including you. 10-14-16 072

 Don’t look at what you see, instead look at Me.  How many times have I spoke to  you about this? 

Uh. . . .

When your eyes are on the circumstances, you see overwhelming mountains of possible defeats everywhere you look. But when your eyes are on Me, you see My victory and therefore your victory as well. For I freely give to those I love, who are Mine, a life of victory no matter the circumstances.


Yes, there is victory even in death. The world sees death as the end of life, but through Me, death is the beginning of life.

Yes, there is even victory in suffering.

Lord, that’s one I question You about. How can there be victory in suffering?

Child, I am there with them, right by their side. I am closer to those suffering than those who are not. For I suffered the greatest suffering on My cross and I know their pain. Therefore I am closer to those suffering and I hold them in  My arms until I take them home to be with Me in Paradise. They are the victorious.

Lord, I’m ashamed because I  struggle with cake, ice cream, and cookies. Oh, and credit cards too. Please forgive my silly , whiney, stupid ways. Help me to follow You completely in all I say and do. Renew my mind so it seeks Your will above all else, for nothing else matters. Only You matter. Lord, I want more of You.

Child, the way to get more of Me is to give yourself to Me completely. Allow Me to have control of all of you. Give up your dreams, your wishes, and your desires. Desire Me above all else, and I will take care of all else.

Here I am Lord. I give myself to You. Do with me as You wish. Fill my heart  and my mind with Yourself. I want to be Yours.

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But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.     
1 Corinthians 15:57
Yours, O Lord, is the greatness, The power and the glory, The victory and the majesty; For all that is in heaven and in earth is Yours; Yours is the kingdom, O Lord, And You are exalted as head over all.
1 Chronicles 29:11
So when this corruptible has put on incorruption, and this mortal has put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written: “Death is swallowed up in victory. O Death, where is your sting? O Hades, where is your victory?”  1 Corinthians 15:54-55

For whatever is born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith. 1 John 5:4

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Rejected by Friends

Lord, I feel so rejected by my friends. What do You want from me?

Your love.  IMG_9670

Lord, I do love You. Thank You for loving me, but I feel so unlovable now. After all I just didn’t measure up to their standards and  I can’t be what they think I should be. To change myself so I fit in their status mold, not mine, makes me feel so uneasy. After all, their mold doesn’t fit me. For instance, it feels like a tight squeezing shoe or a sock that falls down all day. I just didn’t fit in their group, but the rejection hurts.

Continue reading Rejected by Friends

Medicine For Your Soul

You take medicine when sick. So a little spiritual medicine for the soul will keep you strong. Tomorrow, you can take these as needed. You may print them and then place these spiritual medicines on the front of your refrigerator.  As soon as you’re tempted to overeat, use these spiritual weapons to resist temptation. img_1734 Continue reading Medicine For Your Soul

CONFESSION

My Confession in 2013.

Here I am again Lord, all bloated, full, miserable, and ashamed, wondering, “How did I get here?”  I sense that my overeating has created a gulf between me and You. I feel that as I overfed my fleshly desires, your presence left. Didn’t I say yesterday that I wanted to be free of this bondage? Then last night, I was in the kitchen stuffing my face until well after 10p.m. Lord, how can I ever break free from this vicious cycle of defeat? Continue reading CONFESSION