You have brought me so many victories this past week. Last night I was so exhausted, but You provided a distraction that kept me too occupied to eat. At night the gluttony monster shows up, but I was too busy to pay attention to his temptations this time. Thank you.
(My child, I saw how tired you were and provided.)
Now here I am at the ‘all you can eat’ buffet. Help me. There’s so much food here, it’s difficult to breathe. The salad bar looks pitiful with wilted lettuce and I don’t like any of these soups. Oh, I can’t eat this salad. The vegetables look so boring, it’s all just the same old foods they had the last time I came here, months ago. I’m getting anxious, what if I lose self control and eat everything? Hmm, the steak portions look about half size, I ‘ll try that. Guess I’ll get some carrots and cabbage, squash too. Maybe this will be alright after all. My plate looks full and satisfying. If I chew real slow, I can make this food last until he gets finished. I hope I’m not still hungry when this plate is empty. But I will eat only one plate of food, hear me, just one plate. Continue reading ANGEL AT THE DESERT BAR
Lord, last night I had a choice; go out to eat or stay home, order pizza, and watch a movie. I was so tired, so I ordered the pizza and settled down to watch the movie. I ended up eating too much and the movie was full of profanity and disappointing. If I had gone out to eat, at least we would have had good conversation with a good meal. Lord, I followed Your instructions about eating only a half of my meal. I ate only one slice of pizza, but I lost it over the apple desert. I fixed a large serving with ice cream on top, but as I ate this I began to feel guilty. I left about a third of it because I was so overwhelmed with guilt. It was such a struggle to let it go. Now I realize what a hold deserts have on me. I do love them so! Lord, help me to let go! Lord, help me to love You more than deserts. Do You want me to start over, back to Day one? Do You want me to give up my deserts as well since it was such a struggle last night?
Lord, I confess to You that I love ice cream! I love how it tastes! I love how it feels in my mouth! I also confess to You that I ate two pork chops last night at supper, then I ate chocolate cup cakes and cookies for desert. Lord, I ate all that due to stress and frustration! I am so frustrated, depressed, and disappointed! I feel entrapped in a job that is no longer satisfying. I am full of doubt, especially self-doubt. If the sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, and a broken contrite heart, then I guess I qualify for I certainly feel broken! I feel broken in my spirit for sure and I have no willpower! I am just a broken vessel that cannot hold water!
Lord, forgive my gluttony last night at supper. I was so tired from helping my parents prepare their house for their out-of-town company. After I got home I just wanted to go to bed, but then I had company of my own coming! I had to prepare our supper and then clean up. I just wanted to lay my head on the kitchen table and go to sleep! My supper consisted of bought fried chicken, mashed potatoes with gravy, corn on the cob, and for dessert “hot apple pie”. Then because I was so very tired and stressed out, I searched the kitchen for more food! I found a Snicker Bar, peanut butter cookies, and a nice piece of Boston Crème pie.
Lord, last night I ate everything, everything I could find! You know this, You saw it all! I hate my failures! It seems like they are always there staring at me! “Not good enough, don’t measure up, no self-control! Failure, failure!” I hear all the taunts of self-accusation! Lord, I am just a “major failure” defeated by a wimpy sin! Where do I go from here? Is there any hope for me? Will I ever get victory? Oh Lord, why do You reach out to me in love and hope at all? I just know I am a disappointment to You! Continue reading I CALL YOU, "VICTORY", MY CHILD!
Lately, the Lord convicted of getting two extra spoonful’s of this or that. I knew in my heart that if I chose to continue eating, it would greatly disappoint My Lord! He has done so much for me that I do not want to disappoint Him! The conviction was so strong to STOP and walk away! Then the Lord led me to pull out some of my “old writings” and I found this from the past. You see, He has talked to me about this before! Yes, He has many times before. Continue reading OBEY THE RED LIGHTS! (WRITING FROM THE PAST)
Good morning Lord! It’s Monday, my weigh-in day, but now I don’t know exactly when to weigh in? I woke up so early this morning, I don’t know what to do? It is now around 3:30 a.m. and I always weigh right after I get up! I can’t go back to bed now because I am completely awake! Maybe this early morning would just be a good opportunity to spend more quality time with You? But if I drink my coffee now and then wait to weigh myself later in the day, it will show a weight gain. Oh Lord, what do I do now? When do I weigh?