In May 2013, I weighed 241 lbs. and served as a cook for Celebrate Recovery. God has a real sense of humor putting me in a place of service right in the middle of my addiction.
Sometimes we “Christians” look down on others thinking to ourselves, “I’m not as bad as that.” Sin is sin and addiction is addiction. I know.
Lord, I’m so down. When I look around all I see is things that didn’t turn out like I thought they should. It seems that nothing has turned out right. My beloved friend, now with You, once told me that I was like ‘Pollyanna”. She said, “That’s why I keep you around, you’re so positive.” But I feel so depressed and disappointed. Since June of 2013, I have lost a friend, my brother-in-law, my precious Mother, my Mother-in-law who was a second mother to me, and now my best friend. Continue reading DON'T EAT THE MULLY-GRUBS
Lord, I confess to You that I love ice cream! I love how it tastes! I love how it feels in my mouth! I also confess to You that I ate two pork chops last night at supper, then I ate chocolate cup cakes and cookies for desert. Lord, I ate all that due to stress and frustration! I am so frustrated, depressed, and disappointed! I feel entrapped in a job that is no longer satisfying. I am full of doubt, especially self-doubt. If the sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, and a broken contrite heart, then I guess I qualify for I certainly feel broken! I feel broken in my spirit for sure and I have no willpower! I am just a broken vessel that cannot hold water!
Oh Lord, I’m so sorry! I now see the truth in my heart and it is so ugly! I can’t believe that I was so selfish to You! Yes, it was all about the scales! My heart this morning was all about the scales! Oh Lord, I’m so sorry that I hurt Your feelings because I choose the scales over You! I am so ashamed and embarrassed before You now, hanging my head in shame! Lord, I am so sorry, can You possibly forgive me? Continue reading THE UGLY CHOICE!
(My child, I am the God of second chances!)
Lord, I don’t even know where to start!
(Start with Me, My child!)
Okay Lord, what is first? Continue reading THE GLUTTONY MONSTER! (Writing from the past:)
Thank you Lord for this assurance. I don’t have to worry anymore, I just have to look to You to tell me what and how to do. Thank you for taking the burden of responsibility off me. I know that You know “ALL”, therefore I can trust You to guide me. Oh, what peace in surrender to You, My Lord! Continue reading MY HOPE AND MY VICTORY!
Good morning Lord! It’s Monday, my weigh-in day, but now I don’t know exactly when to weigh in? I woke up so early this morning, I don’t know what to do? It is now around 3:30 a.m. and I always weigh right after I get up! I can’t go back to bed now because I am completely awake! Maybe this early morning would just be a good opportunity to spend more quality time with You? But if I drink my coffee now and then wait to weigh myself later in the day, it will show a weight gain. Oh Lord, what do I do now? When do I weigh?
(Don’t drink your coffee now, just wait to weigh yourself at 4:00a.m. and then you can drink your coffee.) Continue reading DO NOT BE AFRAID, FOR I AM WITH YOU!
Lord Jesus, forgive me. I broke down last night. It really started yesterday morning when I was more interested in the news than my “sweet time” with You. Then last night I really broke when I started eating all the sweets. There are several sweets in this house due to others here, and I just completely broke down. For two days now, I have struggled against the pull of this temptation , but last night all my resolve just collapsed! Continue reading A NEW DAY, EXPECTING NEW VICTORY!