I’m Afraid

This is what 10 pounds looks like. My friend, Donna said, “Feel how heavy this is. This is what 10 pounds feels like. Imagine this on your body.”

Lord, today is weigh-day and I’m afraid. What if I’ve eaten too much? I know there were times when I got too full. I am afraid of what those scales might say.

My child, as you look to Me, I will lead you. I did not give you this fear. Why do you let this box with numbers rule your life? Trust Me. All of your struggles have been because of lack of trust.

When You were confronted by the problems and struggles of life, you ran to food for comfort.

When you felt hurt, rejected, or disappointed in others, you ran to food for love.

When you worried over your needs, finances, or the needs of others, you ran to food for peace. True peace never comes from food.

Know ye not that I have come to give you abundant life, peace, love, and joy unspeakable?

If only you would run to Me, the One that loves you beyond your comprehension, instead the idol of pleasant pleasure food. Then you would find yourself walking in the freedom of My love. My freedom brings peace, joy, wisdom, and abundant life.

The idol of pleasure food brings entrapment. It brings damage to your body, but the worst is that it brings defeat and shame to your soul. I want My children to walk in victory, not defeat. I have come to set you free. Can you believe that?

Now don’t worry or be afraid of those scales. don’t look for your confirmation of success from numbers on a box. Look to My Presence for your success. I AM your success.

As you yield yourself to Me, I will grant you increase, not increase in body size, but increase in My love and power. I will increase My power within you to give you the ability to say “No” when necessary and “Yes” to My will.

I will increase My love within you so it will spill over to others and they can be filled with My joy as well, for I am the one true joy. Tell them to come to Me, for I AM the One true source of joy, peace, and love.

Yes Sir. Thank you Sir. I give myself to thee, do with me as You will. Help me to obey You in all things.

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For God has not given a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.       II Timothy 1:7 NKJV

And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” II Corinthians 12:9 NKJV

For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.  Romans 14:17 NKJV 

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13 NKJV

_________________WOW!_______________

Stood on the scales,

WOW!  91 pounds gone forever!

Thank you Lord.

How I Ate This Weekend. Dieters Beware. Triple XXX Rating.

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will guide you with My eye. Psalm 32:8 NKJV

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Last week a friend asked how I ate. I tried to answer her questions. She wanted more information. I thought a picture is worth 1,000 words, so I’ll just take pictures of my food.

Disclaimer: I apologize to all who eat clean, carb free, or follow diet rules. These food pictures don’t fit any of those plans. This is how God instructed me to eat. I’ve lost 87 pounds,  gone from a size 18/20 pants to size 10 pants and from size X-L /14-18 tops to size S/6-10 tops. Wow!

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Taken May 2013, weighing 241.

I’ve failed every diet I tried with 41 years of failure. My first paid weight loss group was in 1974. We ate tuna fish 5x a week. Yuck. It’s amazing what we do to lose weight. I never tried surgery, only because I was afraid.

In May 2013, I weighed 241 pounds. In desperation, embarrassment, and total defeat I cried out to God. I’d tried everything only to end up in failure. I was broken in defeat with no hope, no other options and turned to God begging for help. Considering all the people in the world with severe needs, it was pathetic.

IMG_6156God didn’t care how pathetic I was, He reached out to help me. I was a food drunk eating almost 24/7.

God whispered to my heart, “Eat three meals a day with no snacks. Eat anything you want including desserts, but no snacks. Do this for 40 days.”

Seemed simple enough. I thought maybe I can do this. It took  60 days to achieve 40 days of three meals with no snacks. Then I asked Him, “What now?”

Again He spoke to my heart, “Continue eating your three meals with no snacks. Now cut your food in half.”

You won’t believe how I eat now, yet continue losing weight. I feel like a walking, talking miracle. So here goes, food pictures:

Friday: Breakfast- I/2 apple with  peanut butter & a caramel flavored rice cake. (I like the flavor and crunchiness.)

Lunch- Forgot what I ate, don’t keep a food journal. Mostly I just eat half of whatever, so I don’t need to write it down.  It may have been soup & 1/2 sandwich.

Supper- We went out with friends to a new Italian restaurant. I ordered house salad with Thousand Island dressing, Penne Basilica with extra mushrooms, and Tiramisu for dessert. (Shared dessert with husband.)

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New Italian restaurant. ***** five stars- great food. Highly recommended. Large portions, enough to take home for later.
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Our friends ordered an appetizer of fried onion rings. I ate one with the mariner sauce.
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The side salad. I ate the large vegetables and left half the lettuce.
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Penne Basilica- chicken, broccoli, pesto cream sauce with pasta. I ordered extra mushrooms. My plate was the largest serving on the table. Wow!
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Tiramisu- Hubby and I both ate half. Not my favorite.
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I took home half the entrée with a piece of bread. I ate a half piece of bread at my meal.

Now for Saturday’s food :

Breakfast: One large serving cheese grits from a gas station that served breakfast. I left about three large bites and threw it away. Hubby and I were out and about.

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Lunch served on a saucer, half the leftover pasta. The other half was still in the go box. I added three pieces of fried squash. (Southern favorite. The only way Hubby will eat squash.)
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A favorite dessert, ice cream with pear pieces and juice. I usually eat half a coffee cup of ice cream (about 3 large spoonful’s.)

Lunch: Leftover pasta, fried squash, and dessert, ice cream with canned pear pieces.

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Saturday supper: I ate one whole can of soup 200 calories. Don’t count calories, but thought it was okay to eat all the soup due to low calories.
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My dessert with Saturday supper. One, yes I said one Hersey’s kiss. Let it melt in your mouth, lot of chocolate pleasure for only 22 calories

 Now for Sunday’s meals:

Skipped breakfast. Hubby insists on being at church at 8 a.m. for his music practice before church. Hoping someone brings a treat to our Sunday School class.

No treats in Sunday school. After church we ate lunch at a favorite neighborhood restaurant, “Neighbors”. Large servings, plenty to bring home for later.  Great food, whatever you order. Five stars. ****

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Almost forgot to take a picture. Ordered three-piece chicken dinner with sides of turnip greens, mac n cheese, and corn bread. The plate came with four pieces and a roll. I asked for cornbread. You can’t eat turnips without cornbread.
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I ate half the turnips, half the mac n cheese, two small pieces chicken, and one half of the corn muffins. There were four pieces of chicken, so I thought I could eat two of the smaller pieces. That’s half, right?

Sunday night after church there was a reception to honor our pastors. Since I didn’t eat breakfast, I could now eat cake. Yea, my favorite. This would be my second meal today.

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I love, love cake icing. I know, pure sugar and lard.
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Since I eat half the cake, I eat my favorite part, the icing. Throw away the cake part.

When we got home from church it was soup and sandwich again. I overstocked canned soup so we’re trying to eat it.

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For late supper I ate a whole can of soup. In hindsight, I think I should have eaten only half because I felt too full afterwards. Lesson learned, don’t eat past full. Hubby has two slices of bread and two slices cheese, grilled in butter. Mine is one slice bread, one slice cheese, grilled in butter. That’s a half serving, right.
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Another half coffee cup of ice cream with a half cookie for dessert. I like ice cream. Can ice cream count as a milk serving?

Then for dessert, more ice cream. I always eat my ice cream in a coffee cup for portion control.

I haven’t weighed since mid-Sept. I’m seeking God’s will for my goal weight.           Now I can wear size 10 dress pants. Wow! I don’t ever remember wearing that size in my life. I plan to weigh on November 1. I’ll let ya’ll know how it turned out. Then I guess I’ll discover what maintenance is.

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87 pounds forever gone!

So far, 87 pounds of excess weight gone forever. Since I’m not on a diet, I have nothing to go off of. I am eating normal just less. I can live with that. I feel like a walking, talking miracle. God has set me free from a lifetime of obesity, obsessive dieting, (another form of bondage, and a failure complex. I’m walking in the gift of His victory for me. It’s not through my works, but through His grace. He has healed me and set me free.

Believe He Will

Several years ago I heard one of my granddaughters singing and it ministered to my heart, the chorus of Trust and Obey:

  • Trust and obey
  • for there’s no other way
  • to be happy in Jesus,
  • but to trust and obey.

Easy to say, but sometimes hard to do.

. . . the joy of the Lord is your strength. (Nehemiah 8:10)

Lord, all my life I heard, “You need to lose weight. You need to go on a diet.” Long ago, the doctor wrote on my chart- “Obese.” That word stayed on my medical chart for years. Many people have advised me on how to diet. Some of those I paid money to for their advice. Now people are telling me I’m too skinny. They say, “Stop losing weight.” Even my doctor has now said, “Don’t lose any more.” Then she added, “Well, maybe five more pounds.” Continue reading Believe He Will

The Feeding Trough & Turning Green

Lord, thank You for helping me at the Feeding Trough.

I chose to eat there instead of the Chinese Buffet. At the buffet you can’t bring food home, but at Lambert’s you can. I’ve eaten so many half-meals at restaurants that I feel cheated if I can’t bring food home. It feels like you’re getting two meals for one price, twice the enjoyment.

Hubby and I took the day off and went to the Shrimp Festival at Gulf Shores, Alabama. Because of a late start we decided to eat lunch first.

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First the fried okra. I ate half.
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Then the “throwed roll”. Really big.
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I ate my half of roll with honey. Yum.

After much discussion, we decided to eat at Lambert’s, “Home of the Throwed Rolls.” We call this place, The Feeding Trough for obvious reasons. At this restaurant customers are encouraged to eat. Servers walk between the tables offering free pass-arounds, fried okra, smothered potatoes, black eyed peas, macaroni with tomatoes, apple butter, and the best of all, hot fresh rolls. Just one meal in this place is a binge in itself.

Before walking in, I started praying. Lord, I need Your help. What do I eat? Help me not overeat. It would so easy to eat myself sick here. Lord, I need You right now. Help me.

Then this idea came. Take pictures of what you eat. Post on the blog. This will keep you accountable. Since several friends have asked about what do I eat, it seemed like a good idea. Now I can show them how I eat. Thank you Lord.

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Fried chicken gizzards with sides. My meal.
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This is what I took home. Ate off of this four more times. I think we got our money’s worth with this meal.
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Hubby’s leftovers.

I ordered  fried chicken gizzards, a southern delicately. The sides were mushroom gravy, carrots, and sweet potato and one of the free pass- arounds,  smothered potatoes with onions. I quickly got full and didn’t eat the sweet potato or carrots There’s no way to eat half of all this. So I got a go-box to carry home. Hubby carried part of his meal home too.

After lunch, on to the Shrimp Festival to look at all the art and crafts.     

There was live music too!

Live music

This is my favorite of all the artwork. Finally someone painted a plump woman in a very complimentary way. I thought it was beautiful.

Lord, I’m so ashamed. For the first time I gloated over another woman gaining weight. Please forgive me.

There she was in front of the stage clad only in her bikini, dancing and flaunting her semi-nude self in front of the crowd. I looked at hubby, and yes he was watching her intently. I turned green with jealously and filled with anger.

Hubby asked, “Isn’t she the same lady that danced in front of everyone last year?” I peered at her. “Yes, she’s the same one.” Last year he told me , “Oh she’s just having fun.” Now here he is again watching this exhibitionist flaunt her semi-nude self.  I remembered being irritated about it last year too. I turned another shade of green and gritted my teeth.  Self, don’t hit him now.

Then he said those words. “I believe she’s gained weight since last year.” I peered at her again, “Yes, I think she has.” That wonderful man spoke again, “You’re looking good, honey.” I smiled. Love that man.

Lord, forgive me. First for my jealously, then for my gloating over her weight gain. How can I? I can’t believe after all my struggles with excess weight that I’m glad someone else gained weight?  I’m so mean. Yep, guess I’m just a mean girl. God forgive me.

This is the first time I’ve been glad someone else gained weight. As I watched her dance, parts of her body bounced that shouldn’t have. If I were dancing by her there would be more parts of my body bouncing than hers. I knew this.

But she wasn’t bothered or ashamed of her bouncing parts at all. Hmmm? Why am I embarrassed by mine?

 This is a bikini I can wear. Not.

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But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.                    

And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

  If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.  Galatians 5:22-26 NKJV 

              

Eau de Butter Cream Parfum 

(True story.)  When she walked into the room the fragrance of sweetness followed her. As she stood still, the aroma settled over her. Everyone could smell the sweetness that surrounded her. I leaned back to breathe in the sweetness. Hmmm.

I whispered to my sister-in-law, “What’s that fragrance she’s wearing? I love it. I want some for myself.”  Continue reading Eau de Butter Cream Parfum