Edge of Victory

Lord, my temptations have not brought me the joy of victory. No, instead they’ve brought failure and defeat. I’ve failed all the tests and have become completely entangled again in bingeing and eating until I’m sick, bloated, and gaining weight. Now I’m standing here before You in guilt and shame at the edge of failure.

No . . . My Child, you’re not standing at the edge of failure. You’re now standing at the edge of victory. Call on My Name – Jesus- for I am your victory.

Lord, I thought I was at victory before, but here I am now back at binge land. At this moment I’m the heaviest I’ve been since 2014. My face has been in the feeding trough, the slop bucket. In the book, “Jesus Calling” by Sarah Young,  (pg. 321) You stated that You weren’t repelled by our weaknesses. No, instead You said Your power was attracted to our weakness. How can You be attracted by my gluttony?

Yes My child, I am drawn to your weakness for I long to help those I love. I always want to help you succeed just as you always want to help those you love. For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4:15-16 NKJV

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My Child, I’ve come to offer you mercy, grace, and help you in your need of deliverance. Now I want to see you free of all this that has you entangled in bondage.

Lord, I feel nothing.

My child, you don’t have to feel Me to know I am with you.

Lord, I’m miserable now.

My child, I know this for I designed it that way. At the time you’re in sin, it seems enjoyable, but eventually sin brings forth great misery.  Without the misery within sin, you wouldn’t cry out to Me.

Lord, I’m at another bottom, a sinkhole of misery. I feel as though I’m sinking in a food vat, a greasy food vat. Lord, I want what we once had before. I want to return to my joy within Your Presence. Can I come back to You?

Child, come here.

Lord, I don’t know what to do now.

Come here, I will lead you.

Lord, I want more of You.

Then My child, let go. Let go of what is in your hand because you can’t receive unless you let go.

Have mercy upon me, O God,
According to Your lovingkindness;
According to the multitude of Your tender mercies,
Blot out my transgressions.
Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,
And cleanse me from my sin. Psalm 51:1-2

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Lord, would You cleanse me, wash me, and deliver me again from my own sin of  destruction. Overall I feel doomed to keep repeating this sin of gluttony.

My child, in fact you aren’t doomed for I’ve already set you free.  As a matter of fact it was My Blood that paid the price required for your freedom.

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He has delivered us from the power of darkness and conveyed us into the kingdom of the Son of His love, in whom we have redemption through His blood the forgiveness of sins. Colossians 1:13-14

* Note: The Lord is helping me. Yes I made a lot of wrong choices, but praising God for His love, mercy and forgiveness. I’ve lost 4 pounds since writing this post. I don’t understand how He could be so patient with me.

I remember back in 2014, a potential publisher told me, “If we publish your book, you can never gain your weight back. It would be an embarrassment to our company.”

Someone once told me that angels are watching us and cheering us on. It’s occurred to me that I must follow God’s will especially with my eating. After all, when I overeat am I embarrassing God in front of His angels?

I’m so grateful He is giving me another chance to eat with Him again. Thank you Lord for Your love and mercy.

He’s patient with you too. He is full of love and mercy for you too, no matter what your past choices were. Go to Him and tell Him all about your issues. I promise He’ll listen. If He listens to me, He will listen to you. He loves you ever so greatly.

 

Credit Card, Trap of Failure

Lord, that credit card is a trap of failure. Help me not use it today and to put You first in everything.

Seek HIs will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take. Proverbs 3:6

I have failed You again Lord, and I’ve gotten caught up in so many distractions especially the “resale” business. I let it enslave me.  Resale sites on my cell phone became first in my life above all else and all others. I’ve spent hours just looking and looking at pictures of things people were selling and I bought some unnecessary things too.  I also listed stuff on these resale sites I wanted to sell. Never made much money, just enough to spend at the grocery store.

Then I spent the money on resale that I planned to use as a deposit on a missionary trip.  Instead of using it for the trip,  I bought a dining room table and a serving buffet that caught my eye. A credit card was used to buy all this. It was a compulsive buy and for a while my house was full of furniture. My dining room looked like a warehouse with two dining room tables,  two serving buffets, and for a while 18 dining room chairs. Don’t even ask. Compulsive buying is worse than compulsive overeating. A credit card can rob you of many blessings. At least, that’s what I think.       

 

Now my missionary trip is cancelled. Hubby, who puts up with my bad spending habits asked, “How are you going to get the money for that trip? You can’t put it on a charge card and I don’t agree with you going anyway.”  So there you go, trip over. I can’t help but wonder, if I didn’t have this out standing debt would he had agreed for me to go?

Child, your victory is on the way.

 

Lord, how can I be a witness? Why am I not crying over this lost missionary trip?  I have been so wrong about so much and sidetracked with so many things. My attention hasn’t been on seeking Your will. Now I’ve messed up and lost this opportunity. I do want to help others, but I don’t have the funds, especially now that I’ve spent money I don’t have buying what I don’t need. There has been so much confusion here. I’m confused. How can I be so messed up?

This is a hard lesson. I’ve been causing myself stress due to my compulsive purchases and overwhelming debt What is Your purpose in all this? I have missed Your will again.

Child, you are learning to seek Me in all things. That is My will.

Lord, how do I pay for this credit card expense of new furniture I didn’t need? I have grandchildren to buy gifts for and now look at My hand. It’s empty.

Child, look at My hand. What do you see?

Lord, I see nail prints.

Child, I lost it all but I gained everything. Do you trust Me?

Yes Sir. (Hanging my head in shame.)

Then stop trying to figure out how to provide  for others and trust Me. Look to Me – for Me – not My hand, but look at Me. Seek My face for I am the supply for all your needs. Lord, I depend on You for You are my supplier, not those credit cards.

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I will instruct you  and teach you in the way you should go; I will guide you with My eye. Do not be like the horse or like the mule, which have no understanding, which must be harnessed with bit and bridle, else they will not come near you.              Psalm 32: 8-9 NKJV

For the world offers only a craving for physical pleasure, a craving for everything we see, and pride in our achievements and possessions. These are not from the Father, but are from the world. And this world is fading away, along with everything that people crave. But anyone who does what pleases God will live forever. I John 2: 15-17 NLT

The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly. John 10:10 NKJV

Change Is Headed Your Way. Can You See It Now?

Change is headed your way. Can you see it coming?  Look for it.

(Several weeks ago when the Lord first spoke these words to my heart, they gave me hope especially considering the horrific events of these past few months: hurricanes, floods, fires, earthquakes. And now this week a mass shooting of  innocents. We all need hope that only He can give. Find a quiet spot, let Him speak to your heart because if you’re like me, you could use some inner peace right now. First, quiet your inner thoughts, then listen for His voice to calm your stress. Allow Him to touch you and fill you with His overwhelming love.) 

More of His words to my heart:

My child, I enjoy creating sudden changes in order to bring hope and joy into each life. Do you remember the words of your earthly Dad, “It’s amazing how quickly things can change?”  Also, “Things can turn around for good just as quickly as they can for bad.”  Do you remember these words spoke by your husband? Yes Lord, I do. Dad was talking about how gloomy the sky looked, but then after a few minutes the sky was blue, with the sun shining and clouds floating by. My husband said these words after several hours of figuring our finances. He was talking about our debt. 

My child, I’m in the “changing” business. In fact I specialize in turning people from the mindset of defeat to expecting victory, from discouragement to hopefulness, from debt to prosperity, and from lack to the fullness of My blessings. Not to mention how I can change relationships from estranged to restored, from broken to healed and from cursed to blessed.  Yes, I’m in the changing business. It brings Me pleasure to turn defeat and depression into victory and hope. I turn abandonment into completely restored. My death on the cross restored love to those destined for eternal abandonment to adoption and unconditional acceptance into My family. The Father loves each one, no matter the human flaws. My death brought victory to all those broken without hope.  Lord, what about those sick and suffering?

My child, I give victory to all those who come to Me. Overall, they will have victory over circumstance and victory over death. While I don’t erase struggles, I do indeed grant victory over struggles. Yes My child, in life you will have struggles and suffering, but because of what I suffered you can have victory. I paid the price for victory for all, especially those struggling and suffering now. They will all have victory. As they come to Me I’ll give them the victory I bought with the price of My blood.

Thank you Lord for talking with me.

My child, it’s My pleasure to talk with My children.

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Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation, old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.                2 Corinthians 5:17 NKJV

He will not crush the weakest reed or put out a flickering candle. Finally He will cause justice to be victorious. And His Name will be the hope of the world.                       Matthew 12:20-21 NLT

He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds. Psalm 147:3 NKJV

These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world. John 16:33 NKJV

But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.           1 Corinthians 15:57 NKJV

 

Victorious – All Mine Are Victorious, Including You.

“Victorious, all of Mine are victorious, including you.”

Lord, I overate last night. Why? Why am I doing this? I don’t want this behavior, I want to walk in total victory to show others how You give victory. Today I feel like a hypocrite. I’m so embarrassed before You.

Child, not only can you not control others, but you can’t control yourself either. So why do you keep trying? Just let go and trust Me. When was the last time you waited before eating to seek My will?

Uh. . . .

If you wait, listen for My voice to guide  you, and walk in My directions for your day, then you will have victory. Quit holding on to what is not good for you, whether it’s unnecessary food, worry, doubt, or fear.  Let go of all that is in your hand. Allow Me to take this weight of burdens heavy on your back.  Give it all to Me. Do you remember your goals for this year, trust, listen, wait, let go, and pray?

Child, it seems you have wandered off the path and gotten distracted by many things. Fix your eyes and your heart on Me for I am your King and your Source of all you need, whether it’s finances, strength, wisdom, peace, or even faith. I can provide all you need.

For now, just focus on the joy of My Presence and allow Me to take care of all the rest of your concerns. If you focus on My Presence, you will be filled with My joy and that can enable you to survive the struggles of life. Being filled with My joy guarantees joy victory no matter the circumstances for I am victory. I delight in bringing victory to what looks like defeat. To the world My cross looked like defeat, but to Me, My cross brought victory, for I am victory.  I love you, child, and I give to you the gift of victory, victory over your sins, victory over defeat, victory over worry, and victory over fear. I am victorious, therefore all of Mine are victorious, including you. 10-14-16 072

 Don’t look at what you see, instead look at Me.  How many times have I spoke to  you about this? 

Uh. . . .

When your eyes are on the circumstances, you see overwhelming mountains of possible defeats everywhere you look. But when your eyes are on Me, you see My victory and therefore your victory as well. For I freely give to those I love, who are Mine, a life of victory no matter the circumstances.


Yes, there is victory even in death. The world sees death as the end of life, but through Me, death is the beginning of life.

Yes, there is even victory in suffering.

Lord, that’s one I question You about. How can there be victory in suffering?

Child, I am there with them, right by their side. I am closer to those suffering than those who are not. For I suffered the greatest suffering on My cross and I know their pain. Therefore I am closer to those suffering and I hold them in  My arms until I take them home to be with Me in Paradise. They are the victorious.

Lord, I’m ashamed because I  struggle with cake, ice cream, and cookies. Oh, and credit cards too. Please forgive my silly , whiney, stupid ways. Help me to follow You completely in all I say and do. Renew my mind so it seeks Your will above all else, for nothing else matters. Only You matter. Lord, I want more of You.

Child, the way to get more of Me is to give yourself to Me completely. Allow Me to have control of all of you. Give up your dreams, your wishes, and your desires. Desire Me above all else, and I will take care of all else.

Here I am Lord. I give myself to You. Do with me as You wish. Fill my heart  and my mind with Yourself. I want to be Yours.

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But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.     
1 Corinthians 15:57
Yours, O Lord, is the greatness, The power and the glory, The victory and the majesty; For all that is in heaven and in earth is Yours; Yours is the kingdom, O Lord, And You are exalted as head over all.
1 Chronicles 29:11
So when this corruptible has put on incorruption, and this mortal has put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written: “Death is swallowed up in victory. O Death, where is your sting? O Hades, where is your victory?”  1 Corinthians 15:54-55

For whatever is born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith. 1 John 5:4

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Do You See The Lights? It’s A Dream.

Lana_1_1Have you ever seen the heavenly “lights” of God, either the brightness of angels or even the Light of God? I haven’t, but I’m looking for them. This all began with a dream I had the other night about “The Lights”. After you read this, let me know what you think about my dream.

To begin with, Lana was in my dream. She was my bestest (Is that a word?) BFF, my most beloved friend. Sept.1, 2014 was the day of she entered Heaven. I celebrate her victory.

For six years I visited her once a week unless I went out of town or was sick.  We enjoyed praying and studying the Bible together.  She’d share her secrets with me  and I vice versa. She’d tell me how God spoke to her heart and I’d write these thoughts down for her. She encouraged me to listen for God’s voice and to write what He spoke to me too. My time spent with her is one of the greatest treasures of my life memories. She’s with God now, talking with Him face to face. Oh, and she’s probably dancing for Him too.

Lana had been bedridden with M.S. for over 18 years and was completely paraplegic. She could only move her head, but Lana was the most beautiful person I have ever known. Her smile would light up the entire room. I’ll always believed she had a straight connection to God Himself. Now she’s living with Him in that “good” neighborhood. She once shared a dream with me about being in Heaven. She said, “I lived in that “good” neighborhood too. Jesus’ house was just over the hill. ” At that time I laughed at her because in Heaven everyone lives in a good neighborhood. I’m smiling as I write this.

Lana’s mother and mine were best friends throughout our childhoods, but somehow we never connected until adulthood, by then she was bedridden. Lana  made such an impression on my life. I want to be just like her, except for the paraplegic part. I want to have her connection with God,  her outgoing personality, her love for God’s Word, and her genuine interest and concern for others. Lana might have been contained in her bedroom, but her prayers impacted the world.

She spent her time either watching  preachers on television since she was homebound, shopping QVC for the same reason (Others made the phone calls for her), or listening to the Bible by audio. She could quote you different scriptures too. But most of all she spent her time praying for others. She prayed for everyone she knew and others she didn’t know. She prayed for world leaders, people-groups within different countries and over current events in the news. When God allowed her to enter Heaven, the world lost one of its greatest prayer warriors and I lost my best friend. He took her home on September 1, 2014 and I’ve missed her ever since.

This was my dream:

Life was busy. We’re all were running to and fro, back and forth to many different activities, all except Lana. Her first focus was to always look for the Light. Wherever she was the Light would come, shine over her and talk with her. She was with the Light so much we could see the twinkles of many lights surrounding her. Every time she talked with the Light she was surrounded by many twinkling lights and she glowed as she reflected this Light.

She spent so much in the presence of the Light with those twinkling lights surrounding her that we started watching. When we would see the twinkling lights come forth, then we knew she was coming to talk with Light. As we watched from a distance she talked with the Light and glowed in His love.

Then one day Lana left to be with Him. She was gone. I thought to myself, “I miss her, but I’m going to miss seeing the Light too, now that’s she gone.” I wondered if we’d ever see the lights again since she was gone now.

As I looked around, it’s dark and the sky is foreboding. A powerful wind is blowing and leaves are swirling about. Storm clouds are brewing.

Then Yahweh speaks to my heart, “Child, look for the Light. The Light will come to you if only you will look for it. Look for the Light, My child.”

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Then Jesus spoke to them again, saying, “I am the Light of the world. He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but have the Light of life.” John 8:12

Arise, shine; for your Light has come! And the glory of the Lord is risen upon you. Isaiah 60:1  (This was one of Lana’s favorite verses.)

For it is the God who commanded light to shine out of darkness, who has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.  2 Corinthians 4:6

The city had no need of the sun or of the moon to shine on it, for the glory of God illuminated it. The Lamb is its light. Revelations 21:23

 

 

Where is God in this Tragedy of Houston’s Flood?

I did not write this, but I cried when I read it. I felt it needed sharing.

Where is God ?    http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2017/08/31/where-is-god-in-terrible-tragedy-in-houston.html

Lord, Forgive Us, Heal Our Land

“If My people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land.”‭‭II Chronicles‬ ‭7:14‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

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Lord, forgive our sins. Let us return to You. Give us the wisdom and strength we need to turn from our wicked ways. Bring healing to this land, this people, our families, and even our selves. Lord, we are so broken as a people and as families. Bring hope and healing where there seems to be only despair and brokenness. Lord, You are our source of all- help us to keep our eyes on You. Bring us back to You. Forgive our sins individually and as a nation. Cleanse us from all not pleasing to You. Help us to realize it is not our will that brings us victory, but Your will that brings the victory. Lord, You are our victory. Thank you for having mercy for all of us. Amen.

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Another Chance- Lord, Could I Have Another Chance?

Lord, I don’t know what to do. Could I have another chance?

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Child, I keep all My promises. I know sometimes you don’t keep yours, but I always keep Mine. I keep My promises from one generation to another and I’ll keep My promises to you too.

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Understand therefore that the Lord your God is the faithful God who for a thousand generations keeps His promises and constantly loves those who love Him and who obey His commands. Deuteronomy 7:9 TLB 

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Lord, I do love You, but I can’t say I’ve always obeyed Your commands. Sometimes I do, but a lot of times I haven’t. Is there hope for me? Can I have another chance?img_3351-1

Child, there’s always hope for another chance, a new beginning.                                                                                                                        

Lord, will You give me another chance? Psalm 32:8 is a promise You made to me long ago and many times since. Now I’m looking for Your direction again.

Child, I am leading you. I’ll guide you. But first things first.

But Lord . . . what’s first?img_3152-1

I AM first, My child. Come to Me. Let Me wash you from the filth of your sins: anxiousness, greed, worry, judgmental attitude toward others, self-criticism, overeating, procrastination, laziness, and selfishness. My child, you’ve given your heart to Me, but then you chose to walk your own way in your own wisdom. As you walk through life, the earthly drudge and filth gets in your mind and your heart too. I’ve come to set you free from this bondage of earthly things and ways.

Lord, I don’t know what to do. I just know I need another chance, another chance at life. It seems I’ve messed up in so many ways.

Look to Me for I will guide your steps and your ways.

Lord, I want You.IMG_9689

Child, I am here with you now.

Lord, I want to write but what’s happened? I’m blank.

Child, look at Jonah.  “Now the Word of the Lord came to Jonah the second time . . .” I am the God of second chances. Jonah got another chance, so will you.

Alright Lord, I’m getting another chance. So what do I do with it? What direction do I go?

Go with what you have now. Save up for more increase. Write.

Lord, what do I write?

Write what I give you. Then sell what you have and use those funds to pay expenses. Forget your man-made rules of post 3x this or 3x that. Forget your keeping records of how long you pray. Who’s that for, your self pride, that’s who. Man-created Pharisee rules don’t please Me. I’ve come to set you free. You have another chance. Now go and follow as I lead you constantly throughout your day.

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You know- “Pray without ceasing.” It’s not just saying words, it’s talking with Me. Discuss all the details of your life with Me. Listen for My voice leading you. Remember I don’t scream, “Do it now.” No, I speak to you quietly and always confirm My written Word. Teach others to talk with Me and how to listen. Tell them I’m the best friend they’ll ever have. Tell them I’ll give them another chance.

You’ll start writing and talking with Me every morning as I wake you Myself.

OK, Lord. Do I share about this financial mess I created?

How will they know about My deliverance unless you tell them? How will they know I will give them another chance unless you tell them?IMG_2331

 

Don’t Give Up And Don’t Quit, For I Am With You (Part Two- His Answer)

 

IMG_9689Don’t give up My child, for I am with you. I see your discouragement, but I say to you, ‘Don’t give up and don’t quit. Go forth in the victory I have already prepared for you.”

Lord, thank you for my weight loss and teaching me how to eat in submission  Yes, I know I’ve failed You so many times, but You never gave up on me. Thank you Lord for Your mercy. You said don’t give up, but I’m overwhelmed. Now I have more issues I need Your help with, credit card issues.

Continue reading Don’t Give Up And Don’t Quit, For I Am With You (Part Two- His Answer)

“Don’t Give Up And Don’t Quit, For I Am With You” (Part 1- My Dilemma)

 

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Don’t give up, My child, for I am with you. I see your discouragement, but I say to you, ‘Don’t give up and don’t quit. Go forth in the victory I have already prepared for you.”

Lord, thank you for my weight loss and teaching me how to eat in submission  Yes, I know I’ve failed You so many times, but You never gave up on me. Thank you Lord for Your mercy. You said don’t give up, but I’m overwhelmed. Now I have more issues I need Your help with, credit card issues.

 

Continue reading “Don’t Give Up And Don’t Quit, For I Am With You” (Part 1- My Dilemma)