UNDESERVED LOVE!

     Quote from JESUS 90 DAYS WITH THE ONE AND ONLY by Beth Moore :

“A romance with Christ differs so dramatically from a romance between mortals. I do not wish any other woman to love my husband, Keith, the way I do. How differently my romance with Christ! I want all of you to love Him…. at least as much as I do. I’m jealous for us to want Him more than we want blessings, health, or even breath. I want to know Him so well that my undivided heart can explain, “Because Your love is better than life, my lips will glorify You” (Ps.63:3). Better than life! God invites mortal creatures – you and me – into a love relationship with the Son of glory. That, my friend, is the meaning of life. Let’s partake. Fully. Completely.  ”      

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     Lord, I want to love You like this! Help me to understand You, at least as much as I can. Help me to love You with all that I am, and all that I will ever be. Lord, I want to please You; but again, I have completely failed in my attempt at what I thought was obedience to You. Lord, I want to give myself to You, my whole self! Lord, help me to please You and to cause others to long for Your presence as well!

     I praise You, Lord, for You love me, although for the life of me, I do not understand why? I have disappointed both You and myself so many, many times. I have asked forgiveness for the same sin over and over so much that it embarrasses me to ask You again to forgive me yet another time. Lord, I long for freedom from of all the bondage of this world. I long for Your presence, Your glorious presence! Lord, I am so sorry that I have failed You yet another time. Let the focus of my heart be for You and You only, not anything or anyone this world has to offer. But Lord, let my heart be for You!

     I sense that, yes You do love me, in spite of my failures, and in spite of the disappointments, rejections, and the heart breaks that I cause for You to suffer when I insist on my way instead of Your way. Lord, I can never be worthy of Your love, so how could You love me? And yet You do, this amazes me! You overwhelm me! Lord, in spite of my failures, would You allow me to come in closer to You and to sit at Your feet? Would You allow me to place my head on Your knee, would You place Your hand on my head and love me?

     (My child, I love you more than My life! You have no idea, you do not even have the  ability to comprehend the love I have for you!)

     Lord, let me follow the example of Your own earthly mother who said, “What ever He (Jesus) says to you, do it” (John 2:5). Lord, help me to obey You in ALL THINGS – ALL THINGS! Help me to give myself fully and completely to You! Do with me as You will!

     “For He who is mighty has done great things for me, and Holy is His name. And mercy is on those who fear Him from generation to generation.” Luke 1:49 NKJV

     Thank You for Your mercy, Your love, and Your forgiveness. I am so unworthy and so full of sin, how could You possibly love me?

     (My child, I do love you!)

     Lord, I do not know why, for I don’t even love myself. I see all my filthiness! I see all my failures! I see the ugliness of my heart! But, my Lord, I long for Your love!

     (Come here, My child, sit at My feet, lay your head on My knee, and allow Me to caress your hair. My child, do you not even yet know how much I love you? Come here, come into My presence. Allow Me to fill your heart, your soul, and your mind with Myself. Breathe in My presence. Let go of all that is pressing your heart and mind. Let go of this pain of rejection that you feel from others, My child. You even reject yourself due to your self-conceived failures.  You hurt and grieve over these failures. You also grieve and hurt over the rejections of those you love. My child, let go of these pains. Come to Me, for I am the God, ‘El Roi‘, the God who sees into your heart, into your soul, and into your mind. I know more about you than you know of yourself. And yet, I love you, My child, without  question.)

     Lord, why, why would You love me?

     (I have come, My child, to save you from yourself, from your failures, from your selfishness, from your self-imposed regulations striving for perfection, and from your self-condemnation. I have come to you, My child, to save you from your “self”!

     For you, My child, habitually beat yourself up with your “self” and I have come to set you free! Yes, “free indeed”!  My child, look up at Me, see the love in My face that I have for you! Bring Me your broken heart, broken by the pain of others and broken by your own “self-inflicted pain”!

     Give Me your heart and I will heal it. I will fill it with the joy of My presence. I will fill you, My child with Myself. I will empty your heart of your “self” and I will fill your heart with “Myself”. Come unto Me, My child, give Me your heart, your soul, and your mind! Rest here at My feet for a while, I will heal thee. I will set you free from this bondage of “self”. I will erase your pain and replace it with My joy. Sit here at My knee and rest.)

     “Be still and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10 KNJV

     (Rest, My child, know that I am with you. I love you, My child! My heart fills with love for you! Be still now and allow Me to fill you with Myself!)

     Lord, what I want is You! I don’t understand why people resist and turn away from Your love. Are they blind? Do they not know?

     (My child, I am calling unto them over and over; and yet, they continually reject My love. Yes, I do grieve deeply over the rejections of My rebellious children; but, I also relentlessly pursue them. I chase after them and My heart rejoices with great expanding joy when one of My beloved children returns to My love! The angels in heaven rejoice with Me, for one of My “lost babies” has been found! This gives Me exceedingly great pleasure, when one of My “lost babies” comes home to Me! If only they knew how deeply My love is for them; if only they could comprehend how great is My love for them! If only they knew, they would return to Me! For there is no greater love they will ever find that even compares to My love for them! If only they knew!)

     Lord, I love You!

     (I love you too, My child. Thank you for loving Me.)

     Lord, how could You say that? For I am the one that does not deserve Your love!

     (My child, I long for the love of My children. Your love brings joy to My heart. Thank you for loving Me, My child.)

     Oh Lord, it is I who thanks You!

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     Note: My birthday was last week. Some of those that I love the most either forgot or they were just too busy with other activities to acknowledge me. I had no cake and no cards from them. I tried to “get over it”, but I couldn’t, it felt like major rejection. I felt as though I really didn’t matter to these I love. Some of them did give excuses and thought I should have more understanding. I did try, but it only felt like disrespect and rejection. Some of them also started to mildly suggest that maybe, I should act more “adult” about this. After all, it is Christmastime and there are many other activities that need to come first!

      I felt as though I had loved them so much, how could they possibly not care about me? I cried a lot for several days and I prayed a lot trying to ease the pain of what I felt like was a lack of consideration and disrespect of my love, “Lord, help my attitude!”  But I also ate a LOT! I told my husband as I ate all the ice cream and the cookies, “I’m crying in my beer!” I had previously lost 15 lbs. but now today, after a week-long binge, I have gained 7 lbs. back. Now I not only felt unloved but I  had also failed completely! Even though I prayed over this pain, I felt as though I had now hurt the Lord because I had turned to food for comfort, instead of Him! I wondered if I made Him feel rejected because I went to other source for comfort! My heart was now really crying out in pain! Not only was I hurt myself, but now I had hurt Him too! Then I begin to read this book, JESUS 90 DAYS WITH THE ONE AND ONLY,  given to me by my sister-in-law and the Lord spoke to my heart the words of love that you just read. Hopefully through my struggle, pain, and failures, you will also come to realize that, “Yes, the Lord does love You!” Whatever you are struggling with now in your life, go sit at His feet and allow Him to love on you! I promise He will! He is amazing like that! Just when you think you least deserve it, He loves on you! Wow!