Listen carefully to Me, and eat what is good. And let your soul delight itself in abundance. Isaiah55:2NKJV
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Lord, I didn’t listen very well last night. You know it and I know it. Technically I did follow Your directions. Do I get credit for that?
It happened just as I finished my meal. The ladies at the church pot luck were cleaning the tables. They asked if anyone wanted the last bit of leftover pasta salad. If not, they’d throw it away. I thought, “That’s too good to throw away. It’s has bacon in it, it’s just one serving.” So I stood by the garbage can and ate it out of the pan using a plastic spoon. Should’ve let them throw it away.
The story of Saul teaches us about partial obedience, which is really no obedience. Yes, I resisted all those yummy desserts at the pot luck, didn’t eat any of it. Does that count for something? 
Lord, You stirred in my heart to throw away the leftover pasta salad. But did I listen? No, I finished it off. Saul didn’t listen, and neither did I.
Here I am now with a bloated belly and weight gain. I’ve gone 40 days without desserts or southern fried foods. Then on day 40 I mess up, not with desserts or fried foods, but leftover pasta salad. Do You think we could count that as a salad? Would that work? Sigh. Probably not.
Lord, it’s my heart that loves and desires abundant food. Remove this love of food from my heart. Help me to love You more than anything. Help me to listen.
I won’t blame You if You don’t talk to me anymore for I am undeserving of Your voice. I’m supposed to help others and look at me with my face in the pasta bowl. 
Incline your ear, and come to Me. Hear, and your soul shall live. And I will make an everlasting covenant with you. Isaiah 55:3
Lord, I want Your Presence. Help me to turn away from even my necessary food. Help me to seek Your will for every bite, every action, every word, and even every thought.
My thinking has been stinking lately. Renew my mind, make it seek after You and Your will above all.
Lord, what can I do?
Nothing My child, just seek Me first. Your eating has become automatic. In the beginning you were aware and sought Me continuously. Now you mostly eat on automatic.
Lord, I feel as though I’m on the fence teetering about to fall.
My child, you are straddling the fence.
What do I do now? How can I change my life to please You more? How can I walk in the shadow of Your Presence? I can’t help others if I’m standing in the mud. I feel as though I’m at a new bottom covered in mud, confused about which direction to take.
Lord, where am I?
My child, you’re standing at the end of the middle. Success isn’t found in the middle, hence your confusion, not knowing which way to go.
But Lord, where do You want me? Do I stand here waiting not moving until I know that I know?
My child, first you have to listen. Then obey Me in the small things. I need to know I can trust you in the small things before I trust you with the big tasks. For instance, you knew to throw away that pasta. David emptied out the water as a sacrifice. You could have emptied out that leftover pasta. You made your choice, disobedience and consequences. 
Lord, I’m sorry I let You down.
My child, choose obedience to Me over all and I will never lead you wrong. Trust 
Me to guide your steps and you will have victory. It may not be the same victory of others, but it will be the victory I have designed just for you. Will you trust Me?
Lord, You know I trust You.
My child, will you trust Me even when you are holding leftover pasta in your hand? Will you be willing to let it go?
Oh Lord, I wish I could go back and relive that moment. I would throw it away.
My child, you can never go back. What is done is done. Now I have to adjust My plans according to your actions for I will never go against one’s will. All are free to choose their way, their choice. You chose the pasta versus My will.
Yes Lord, punish me. I deserve it.
Yes, My child, you do deserve it. But I’m not going to punish you for I have already taken the punishment for you. I have already set you free. I have already prepared your victory over sin. My child, all you have to do is look at Me, seek Me for I will never lead you wrong. And no, You’re not getting by. Natural consequences will come. They always come. I won’t go against the laws of nature that I set in motion so long ago. You see, I am hindered by your will.
Lord, what do I do?
Focus on Me, look to Me, listen, and obey what I tell you. Don’t argue with me. You know you argue. You tell me deep within your spirit that this time it’s okay. My child, disobedience is never okay. No matter how minor you perceive it.
Lord, I’m sorry. Now what do I do?
You can’t go back to undo what is done.
I know, so what do I do now?
Incline your ear, and come to Me. Hear, and your soul shall live; and I will make an everlasting covenant with you. . . Isaiah 55:3
Seek the Lord while He may be found, call upon Him while He is near. Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts; let him return to the Lord, and He will have mercy on him; and to our God, for He will abundantly pardon. “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55: 6-9
My child, take each day as it comes.
How do you plan to eat Thanksgiving Day? Are you going to throw out caution and go for the binge day of all time? If so, how will you feel on Black Friday? Will you be too sick and bloated to shop or do you sleep it off during the football game?
Finally reached the unreachable, achieved the unachievable. Lord, that’s 94 pounds lost. After 42 years of dieting struggles, obesity, and always a sense of failure, I finally saw that magic number of victory on those scales. No matter how much weight I lost or how many times I tried, I’ve never reached this goal. Therefore I’ve always felt like a failure.
Would growing deeper in My Word help you minister to others?
Lord, I’m so discouraged.
