Lord, I am the lowest I have ever been. My belief level is so low. I am on the edge of just giving up on all my prayers.
(My child, I see and know. I am in charge. I told you that I would not let the enemy win. Why do you doubt what I say? Why do you look at the circumstances? What do you see instead of looking at Me? Continue reading DANCE OR DESPAIR!
Lord Jesus, here I am. I don’t even know what to say? Uh . . . well . . . I got there. I hit a new mark not seen since 2001. I now weigh 241.2 pounds. Oh why, why did I keep eating until I arrived at that number? Why? Insanity describes all my actions, or at least those about food. Continue reading YOU ARE NOT ALONE! (written on May 22, 2013)
Lord, I got so frustrated yesterday! I got restless, felt trapped, I just longed to go out to eat somewhere, but due to being a homebound caregiver I had to stay home. Oh Lord, I guess I was just having a “pity party”! Continue reading DO NOT GIVE UP!!!
Lord, as I look back on my life and now as I look at my body, I see all the failures of the past!
(My child, I see you as My creation, “the finished product, perfect in every way”! I am in the process of shaping you into who I want, a “vessel of My Holy Spirit” walking forth in My Presence, showing forth evidence of My Power, and showing forth My Victory in your life! My child, I give unto you, “Hope”, renewed, reawakened “Hope”!) Continue reading HOPE, RENEWED, REAWAKENED HOPE!!
Oh man, . . . I looked at that chocolate cake setting on my kitchen counter! My friend brought it over and my mother in law is eating it, but she eats little small slivers. I have not wanted any of it until now. . . As I just walked by, it called my name! Continue reading THE VICTORY CAKE!!
— For His eyes are on the ways of man, and He sees all his steps. Job 34:21 NKJV
Thank you Lord, for watching over all my steps. Thank you for ordering them according to Your plans.
— A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps. Proverbs 16:9 NKJV
Thank you Lord so much for directing my steps. It is nice to know that You are in charge! It takes the burden off me so that I don’t have to worry about my day. After all, it is now Your responsibility. Now whatever happens, I can look to You and Your plan for this day. Continue reading DIRECT MY STEPS AND MY EATING TOO!
Lord, lead me according to Your will for today. Lord, I ask for forgiveness for all my sins of gluttony.
(My child, I have given you the gift of healing from this bondage of overeating. But as of yet, you have not accepted it! Accept this gift, My child. It is not something you earn, for I have freely given it to you! Now reach out and take this gift of mercy and healing. Be set free from this bondage and oppression now in My Name-Jesus! Be set free and delivered completely! Go forth in My power the power of the Holy Spirit! Those I have set free are free indeed!) Continue reading GOD CAN!!!
I wonder if Satan ever went to God to discuss my spiritual progress , just as he did Job so long ago? If so, it possibly could have went like this. . . .
God said, “Have you seen My servant ? She has taught Bible study to both children and adults. She loves to pray, study My Word and write about Me. Once, she even helped to organize a committee that brought unity and courage to a fearful neighborhood. Have you seen her?
I imagine Satan frowning as he replied, “Yea, I have seen her. It’s disgusting!” God would respond, “Oh no, it is wonderful! This child of Mine wants to bring Me glory! She has a heart seeking for more of Me! Oh, I am so thrilled with her progress, Satan, this one is Mine! You must admit defeat in this case!”
Satan probably then left in a hurry frustrated and determined to find a way to defeat God in the life of this child. He probably thought, “How can I destroy her confident testimony? How can I strip her of this abundant life of victory? Let me think, now, what . . . what is her major weakness? Is it bondage to alcohol? No, she doesn’t like the taste. Could she become addicted to drugs or cigarettes? No, she won’t even consider trying either one. Could I entice her with a lust for other men besides her husband? No, she won’t go there either! Besides, the last time I tried that she prayed so much that it just completely turned me off! Now, let me see. . . what can I use to entrap her in bondage? What will look innocent to her, just a little small sin, but it will appeal to the lust of her flesh; and in the end it will totally entrap and destroy her just as well as any other bondage?”
He probably frowned in deep concentration until suddenly he grinned in evil delight as he exclaimed excitedly, “I know! I know! I will entice her eye with the pleasures of food. I can also appeal to her emotions with the comfort of food!” He laughed with delight at his plan to destroy one of God’s children, “Then I will totally entrap her with the bondage of gluttony! Therefore, she will live a life of shame and defeat forevermore! It will also grieve the heart of God to watch one of His children choose food for comfort instead of Him. In addition, this plan will destroy God’s purpose for the life of this child. I will destroy her not just physically or emotionally, but also spiritually! This is just the perfect plan!”
He laughed gleefully to himself as he thought, “If I can’t use one pleasure to bring defeat to their lives, I can always find another! The desire for pleasure and comfort is a great tool of destruction. It starts out small and then they become so entrapped that they are in complete bondage before they ever know what happened. I am so great and awesome! I can even outsmart God! I will defeat all of His children and destroy His purpose for their life. Instead of Him getting glory from their lives, I will glory in their destruction! Everyone has a weakness that I can use!”
I guess that was Satan’s plan, to destroy God’s purpose for my life. All of my life, I have struggled with my excess weight. Throughout my adulthood I have tried all the tricks, all the diets, different diet pills, and once I even led a church Bible weight loss study only to back-slide into gluttony yet again and again.
This led me to think of myself as an embarrassment to God. How can He possibly forgive me when I keep running back to the same sin over and over? How I must have disappointed Him! How disappointed I am in myself! Many times, I have thought, “Oh God, what a failure I am!” BUT GOD HAS ANOTHER PLAN, A PLAN FOR VICTORY! HE HAS A PLAN FOR VICTORY FOR ME AND A PLAN OF VICTORY FOR YOU!
Satan’s plans will always be defeated as we kneel before God, confess our sins, repent (means turn away from) and then surrender our will to His will! God works out ALL things, ALL things for His glory! Therefore even this weakness of mine will bring Him praise for I yield myself to Him to do as He pleases with my life and I now offer this unneeded extra food as an offering to Him in submission. Just as King David poured out water in sacrifice(2 Samuel 23:15-17), I will pour out this abundant food that is before me. King David felt shame as he realized the life sacrifice of his men to get him water. I also feel shame as I consider how I have wasted the blood sacrifice of Jesus as I run to food, a false god, for comfort.
You can never conquer sin with an excuse, but you can conquer sin through surrender! THE KEY TO VICTORY IS SURRENDER!!
“And I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.” Matthew 16:19
I have to ask, could one of the keys of the “kingdom of heaven” that will unlock bondage of any kind be “surrender”? In my life, I think so. Surrender will be the key to my freedom, yours too!