Tag Archives: food addiction

Never Give Up

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Never give up. It’s been the pattern of my whole adult life, weight gain, weight loss, weight gain, weight loss, on and on. Finally after 39 years of struggling with obesity weighing 241, I sought God for help and direction.

I went to God everyday for weight loss counseling until I achieved my weight loss goal. This took approximately 9-10 months. Beginning at 241 pounds, I lost 90 pounds with God’s help and maintained this weight loss for over two years following the way God told me to eat. 

Then after this success, I thought I had arrived at my dream and could eat just as I did before my weight loss. So I began eating snacks now and again. Over time, this led to much more overeating.

So the number on the scales started creeping up. But I thought “No problem, I can just go back to my weight loss any time I want to.” Wrong.

Today I wish I had never done that. I wish I had stayed in my place of eating in obedience to the way God led me to. Sigh. It’s taken two more years but I’ve gained over +30 lbs. How easily the sins of gluttony have piled up. Lord forgive me. Forgive myself..This is actually a complimentary picture. In the mirror, it looks worse. Sigh.

My grandfather’s legacy is that he said, “Never give up!” His feet got frostbitten during WW1. After getting treatment, he walked all the way back to the front lines and continued fighting for our country. If you can hear me in Heaven, Grandpa, thank you for leaving the legacy of “Never give up.”

I don’t know about you, but now that I’m back on the straight and “narrow” path of eating, it seems harder. My weight goes up a few, goes down a few, back up again, then down again, even though I’m following my correct eating plan. It’s so frustrating. Do you get frustrated too?

Sometimes I feel like just giving up. After all, I’m 67 years old. I took God and His delivering power for granted. Thought I could use it anytime I wanted. Do I give up now at my old age? Have I backslidden too much?

Child, I’m not giving up on you no matter what you eat or do. You are Mine and I have plans for you. Therefore, I will never give up on you.

With God on our side we can’t help but win- uh, lose.

Remember, “Never give up.”

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1 NKJV

But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him. Hebrews 11:6 NKJV

“Jesus said to him, “If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.” Mark‬ ‭9:23‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

NEVER GIVE UP

Anticipated New Beginning With Expectation

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Lord, is it possible to have a new beginning with You again? Could You forgive me about last nights ice cream? Oh, and the cookies, chips, nuts, and granola bar too. Please forgive me for last night’s binge. And, thank you the scales didn’t go up this morning. That’s a sure miracle. Your mercy amazes me, especially with all my mess-ups. and backsliding.

My friend has been fasting in prayer for her brother who’s sick. She’s lost noticeable weight and looks good too. Yes, I do want to lose more weight, but I also want to maintain the fullness of Your Presence. I want to feel victorious so I can pray without feeling ashamed due to my own sins of gluttony. It’s my desire to make You proud as I eat in submission to Your will. You know what’s best for my body and I trust You. I just have a weakness resisting pleasure food. Help me, allow me to start over again with You.

Child, I’m the God of many second chances. I died so that you (and others too) could be cleansed and delivered from ALL sins. I died so that you could enter into the Almighty Presence of God. None is worthy. No, not one. It’s only because of the price I paid, the shedding of My blood as a sacrifice – the price I gave freely so that you and others could enter in My Presence. 

Lord, how can I make You proud?

Love Me, seek Me, and trust Me. Listen and obey, for there is no other way. There’s much truth in that child’s song. Let the little children lead you. Behold, how easily they trust and love. You should do the same. Follow their example. There’s much truth in the saying, “The little children shall lead them.”

Okay Lord, I’ll try. But I need Your guidance. How do You want me to eat so I can be a testimony of Your forgiveness and Your delivering power?  Others who are struggling need to know You can deliver them, especially when what they need is deliverance from their own selves? That’s what causes most of all my problems- self, myself.

Lord, do You want me to eat only two meals a day or just three meals a day, give up all desserts, or just give all my favorite pleasure foods? Do I wait until I am physically hungry to eat? Do I only eat half portions? Should I get hungry and stay hungry?

Yesterday I started out with intentions to eating only two meals. Then I got real hungry and ate past full. Later last night, I rationalized that ice cream could be my third meal. Well, we both know where that led to – another binge. I should have drank something instead.

Now I’m at another bottom with my weight. This is the biggest I’ve since 2014. I want my size 10 pants back. Where do You want me with my eating and my weight? Help me obey You and eat what is good for this body You gave me. I want to become stronger, both physically and spiritually, mentally too.

Child, as You seek My will for your eating, some days you’ll be led to eat only two meals, and some days three meals. Occasionally, I may lead you to eat no meals. Each day will be a new beginning. These new beginnings won’t be the same as a new beginning after a binge, but a new day of learning to trust Me and walking in My will.

I want you to learn how to trust, listen, and then obey as I lead you. With each new day as you practice these skills, You will grow stronger. Again, your focus is not to follow rules, but instead your focus will be to deny yourself and follow Me. I want you to learn how to deny yourself and become stronger in My Presence. When your self is completely defeated, then your victory is achieved. Self is your enemy. You must learn and become efficient in defeating self.

This watermelon weighs 190 pounds. Thank you Lord, that’s more than me!

Thank you Lord for talking with me and giving me Your instructions yet another time in my struggles with this food addiction. I’m amazed over Your mercy and Your love toward me. You have shown me yet another time of mercy.  This I know, I don’t deserve Your love. I can’t earn it, but I want it. Thank you for loving me. Help me to please You in every way that I am or ever will be.

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                        . . . do not worry about your life, what you will eat nor about the body, what you will put on. Life is more than food and the body is more than clothing. Luke 12:22-23. 

. . . choose life, . . . that you may love the Lord your God, that you may obey His voice, and that you may cling to Him, for He is your life . . . Deuteronomy 30: 19-20

Grace, mercy, and peace will be with you from God the Father and from the Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of the Father, in truth and love. 2 John 1:3 

Glory to God, Chains are Falling

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Lord, I want to bring You glory, not for me, but for You. Not only show me how, but also could You help me so that I could bring You honor and praise. , I want to ask You Also Lord, I want to ask if You would forgive me for returning back to my old ways of overeating consequently damaging the testimony of Your delivering power in my life.

And He said to her, “Daughter, be of good cheer. Your faith has made you well. Go in peace.” Luke 8:48

Child, this verse applies to you as well. Not only am I watching over you, but also I know of your weaknesses. So now move forth toward your victory. No longer hold your head down, but look up instead for your victory is coming. In fact I’m giving you victory. Look up and be excited about life for it’s a wonderful gift I’ve given to you. Instead of extra food, I want you filled with excitement, be filled with optimism, and be filled with My Spirit. Rejoice My Child for victory is yours.

 Thank you Lord for Your mercy. I can hear those chains of food bondage falling off now.

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Oh, what joy for those whose disobedience is forgiven, whose sin is put out of sight! Yes, what joy for those whose record the Lord has cleared of guilt, whose lives are lived in complete honestly!  . . .                                                                                                . . .  I confessed all my sins to you and stopped trying to hide my guilt. I said to myself, “I will confess my rebellion to the Lord.” And You forgave me! All my guilt is gone. . .                                                                                                                                          . . . The Lord says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you.   Psalms 32: 1,2, 5, 8. NLT

                                                ______________________________                                                                                                                                    

 

I’ve blotted out your sins; they are gone like morning mist at noon! Oh, return to me, for I h ave paid the price to set you free. Isaiah 44:22 TLB

Lord, thank you for setting me free. I hear the chains falling off.

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 PERSONAL DISCLOSURE CONCERNING ADVERTISEMENTS:

Not My Car- But I like it. Don’t You?

I’ve decided to add advertisements to this blog. To begin with, if I published through a free site others would place their own advertisements here. Then we’d be subject to their choices even if we didn’t agree with their choices. So why should I allow others to advertise on this blog?

If I choose to monetize, then I get to choose the advertisements. Therefore I can choose advertisements I approve of and willing to purchase myself. If it doesn’t meet my standards, then you won’t see the advertisement.

A while back I use a free site for this blog and they advertised how Twinkies could help you through your rough times. See how letting others choose their advertisements won’t work for me. I’ll never advertise products to feed your or my food addiction.

I struggled with using advertisements. But after reading “The  Parable of the Talents” in Matthew 25:14-30, I concluded that advertisements could help to support blog expenses. Please don’t feel obligated in any way to order from any of these advertisements unless you want to.

The first advertisement:

http://

Yes, this  is the book I wrote with God’s help. To order, just click on the book button and you’ll be redirected to Amazon.com. Then I’ll receive a small commission from them for my own book. Why not?

If you decide to order from any other advertisements posted on this blog, I’ll receive a small commission from that company. But rest assured,  I’ll never use advertisements I don’t approve, or be willing to order myself. As a matter of fact, I plan on ordering this Amazon Prime after publishing this post so I can make commission from my own order. How’s that for a plan.

Check out these links.

Try Amazon Prime 30-Day Free Trial (This will save me postage when I order from Amazon. Sounds good to me. Maybe this one will pay for itself in postage alone.

Amazon FreeTime Unlimited Free Trial   (This is for children. I cancelled my Netflix, so this may be a good option for the grandkids.)

http://Try Audible and Get Two Free Audiobooks  (My oldest son loves audio-books, so I included this for him. )

Victorious – All Mine Are Victorious, Including You.

“Victorious, all of Mine are victorious, including you.”

Lord, I overate last night. Why? Why am I doing this? I don’t want this behavior, I want to walk in total victory to show others how You give victory. Today I feel like a hypocrite. I’m so embarrassed before You.

Child, not only can you not control others, but you can’t control yourself either. So why do you keep trying? Just let go and trust Me. When was the last time you waited before eating to seek My will?

Uh. . . .

If you wait, listen for My voice to guide  you, and walk in My directions for your day, then you will have victory. Quit holding on to what is not good for you, whether it’s unnecessary food, worry, doubt, or fear.  Let go of all that is in your hand. Allow Me to take this weight of burdens heavy on your back.  Give it all to Me. Do you remember your goals for this year, trust, listen, wait, let go, and pray?

Child, it seems you have wandered off the path and gotten distracted by many things. Fix your eyes and your heart on Me for I am your King and your Source of all you need, whether it’s finances, strength, wisdom, peace, or even faith. I can provide all you need.

For now, just focus on the joy of My Presence and allow Me to take care of all the rest of your concerns. If you focus on My Presence, you will be filled with My joy and that can enable you to survive the struggles of life. Being filled with My joy guarantees joy victory no matter the circumstances for I am victory. I delight in bringing victory to what looks like defeat. To the world My cross looked like defeat, but to Me, My cross brought victory, for I am victory.  I love you, child, and I give to you the gift of victory, victory over your sins, victory over defeat, victory over worry, and victory over fear. I am victorious, therefore all of Mine are victorious, including you. 10-14-16 072

 Don’t look at what you see, instead look at Me.  How many times have I spoke to  you about this? 

Uh. . . .

When your eyes are on the circumstances, you see overwhelming mountains of possible defeats everywhere you look. But when your eyes are on Me, you see My victory and therefore your victory as well. For I freely give to those I love, who are Mine, a life of victory no matter the circumstances.


Yes, there is victory even in death. The world sees death as the end of life, but through Me, death is the beginning of life.

Yes, there is even victory in suffering.

Lord, that’s one I question You about. How can there be victory in suffering?

Child, I am there with them, right by their side. I am closer to those suffering than those who are not. For I suffered the greatest suffering on My cross and I know their pain. Therefore I am closer to those suffering and I hold them in  My arms until I take them home to be with Me in Paradise. They are the victorious.

Lord, I’m ashamed because I  struggle with cake, ice cream, and cookies. Oh, and credit cards too. Please forgive my silly , whiney, stupid ways. Help me to follow You completely in all I say and do. Renew my mind so it seeks Your will above all else, for nothing else matters. Only You matter. Lord, I want more of You.

Child, the way to get more of Me is to give yourself to Me completely. Allow Me to have control of all of you. Give up your dreams, your wishes, and your desires. Desire Me above all else, and I will take care of all else.

Here I am Lord. I give myself to You. Do with me as You wish. Fill my heart  and my mind with Yourself. I want to be Yours.

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But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.     
1 Corinthians 15:57
Yours, O Lord, is the greatness, The power and the glory, The victory and the majesty; For all that is in heaven and in earth is Yours; Yours is the kingdom, O Lord, And You are exalted as head over all.
1 Chronicles 29:11
So when this corruptible has put on incorruption, and this mortal has put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written: “Death is swallowed up in victory. O Death, where is your sting? O Hades, where is your victory?”  1 Corinthians 15:54-55

For whatever is born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith. 1 John 5:4

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“Don’t Give Up And Don’t Quit, For I Am With You” (Part 1- My Dilemma)

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Don’t give up, My child, for I am with you. I see your discouragement, but I say to you, ‘Don’t give up and don’t quit. Go forth in the victory I have already prepared for you.”

Lord, thank you for my weight loss and teaching me how to eat in submission  Yes, I know I’ve failed You so many times, but You never gave up on me. Thank you Lord for Your mercy. You said don’t give up, but I’m overwhelmed. Now I have more issues I need Your help with, credit card issues.

 

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Today’s A New Day Of Mercy

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Lord, today’s a new day of mercy. Thank you for Your mercy. . . . Continue reading

Woman’s World Entry of Weight Loss (Revision- Eating Humble Pie)

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(Making revisions since I’m choking on Humble Pie.)

Humble Pie Ingredients list:

  1. Made a copy of magazine cover. Just found out I may have broke the copy write law. Not sure, but I’m removing the image anyway.
  2. I wrote the name of the magazine wrong.
  3. I don’t know why the latest picture of me came out sideways, to humble me, I guess.  On my draft it’s right.
  4. I wanted to follow your advice and emphasize how I felt after failing all diets for 41 years. Hope you approve.
  5. Someone suggested that I was comparing my greater weight loss to the woman’s weight loss in the article. You know, mine is better than yours, therefore insulting to her. I apologize. My size may be smaller, but my head got bigger. One’s weight loss is NOT greater than another. The sacrifice required to lose one pound is just as great as 90 pounds. It’s just repeated 90 times, one week at a time. God’s been so good to me, how could I get so full of pride?  Pride before the fall.

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Feeding the Tiger, Fighting the Lions

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Lord, long before the 92 pounds left , I was hopelessly tied up by the gluttony monster and he kept me trapped. He wasn’t about to let me go. I had given up with no hope of ever breaking free. Just like the elephant tied with a small  rope to a stake in the ground. The gluttony monster kept me locked in the cage of defeat. It would have been easy to break away, but due to all my previous attempts that ended in failure I was hopeless. Continue reading

How I Ate This Weekend. Dieters Beware. Triple XXX Rating.

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I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will guide you with My eye. Psalm 32:8 NKJV

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Last week a friend asked how I ate. I tried to answer her questions. She wanted more information. I thought a picture is worth 1,000 words, so I’ll just take pictures of my food.

Disclaimer: I apologize to all who eat clean, carb free, or follow diet rules. These food pictures don’t fit any of those plans. This is how God instructed me to eat. I’ve lost 87 pounds,  gone from a size 18/20 pants to size 10 pants and from size X-L /14-18 tops to size S/6-10 tops. Wow!

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Taken May 2013, weighing 241.

I’ve failed every diet I tried with 41 years of failure. My first paid weight loss group was in 1974. We ate tuna fish 5x a week. Yuck. It’s amazing what we do to lose weight. I never tried surgery, only because I was afraid.

In May 2013, I weighed 241 pounds. In desperation, embarrassment, and total defeat I cried out to God. I’d tried everything only to end up in failure. I was broken in defeat with no hope, no other options and turned to God begging for help. Considering all the people in the world with severe needs, it was pathetic.

IMG_6156God didn’t care how pathetic I was, He reached out to help me. I was a food drunk eating almost 24/7.

God whispered to my heart, “Eat three meals a day with no snacks. Eat anything you want including desserts, but no snacks. Do this for 40 days.”

Seemed simple enough. I thought maybe I can do this. It took  60 days to achieve 40 days of three meals with no snacks. Then I asked Him, “What now?”

Again He spoke to my heart, “Continue eating your three meals with no snacks. Now cut your food in half.”

You won’t believe how I eat now, yet continue losing weight. I feel like a walking, talking miracle. So here goes, food pictures:

Friday: Breakfast- I/2 apple with  peanut butter & a caramel flavored rice cake. (I like the flavor and crunchiness.)

Lunch- Forgot what I ate, don’t keep a food journal. Mostly I just eat half of whatever, so I don’t need to write it down.  It may have been soup & 1/2 sandwich.

Supper- We went out with friends to a new Italian restaurant. I ordered house salad with Thousand Island dressing, Penne Basilica with extra mushrooms, and Tiramisu for dessert. (Shared dessert with husband.)

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New Italian restaurant. ***** five stars- great food. Highly recommended. Large portions, enough to take home for later.

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Our friends ordered an appetizer of fried onion rings. I ate one with the mariner sauce.

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The side salad. I ate the large vegetables and left half the lettuce.

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Penne Basilica- chicken, broccoli, pesto cream sauce with pasta. I ordered extra mushrooms. My plate was the largest serving on the table. Wow!

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Tiramisu- Hubby and I both ate half. Not my favorite.

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I took home half the entrée with a piece of bread. I ate a half piece of bread at my meal.

Now for Saturday’s food :

Breakfast: One large serving cheese grits from a gas station that served breakfast. I left about three large bites and threw it away. Hubby and I were out and about.

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Lunch served on a saucer, half the leftover pasta. The other half was still in the go box. I added three pieces of fried squash. (Southern favorite. The only way Hubby will eat squash.)

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A favorite dessert, ice cream with pear pieces and juice. I usually eat half a coffee cup of ice cream (about 3 large spoonful’s.)

Lunch: Leftover pasta, fried squash, and dessert, ice cream with canned pear pieces.

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Saturday supper: I ate one whole can of soup 200 calories. Don’t count calories, but thought it was okay to eat all the soup due to low calories.

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My dessert with Saturday supper. One, yes I said one Hersey’s kiss. Let it melt in your mouth, lot of chocolate pleasure for only 22 calories

 Now for Sunday’s meals:

Skipped breakfast. Hubby insists on being at church at 8 a.m. for his music practice before church. Hoping someone brings a treat to our Sunday School class.

No treats in Sunday school. After church we ate lunch at a favorite neighborhood restaurant, “Neighbors”. Large servings, plenty to bring home for later.  Great food, whatever you order. Five stars. ****

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Almost forgot to take a picture. Ordered three-piece chicken dinner with sides of turnip greens, mac n cheese, and corn bread. The plate came with four pieces and a roll. I asked for cornbread. You can’t eat turnips without cornbread.

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I ate half the turnips, half the mac n cheese, two small pieces chicken, and one half of the corn muffins. There were four pieces of chicken, so I thought I could eat two of the smaller pieces. That’s half, right?

Sunday night after church there was a reception to honor our pastors. Since I didn’t eat breakfast, I could now eat cake. Yea, my favorite. This would be my second meal today.

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I love, love cake icing. I know, pure sugar and lard.

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Since I eat half the cake, I eat my favorite part, the icing. Throw away the cake part.

When we got home from church it was soup and sandwich again. I overstocked canned soup so we’re trying to eat it.

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For late supper I ate a whole can of soup. In hindsight, I think I should have eaten only half because I felt too full afterwards. Lesson learned, don’t eat past full. Hubby has two slices of bread and two slices cheese, grilled in butter. Mine is one slice bread, one slice cheese, grilled in butter. That’s a half serving, right.

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Another half coffee cup of ice cream with a half cookie for dessert. I like ice cream. Can ice cream count as a milk serving?

Then for dessert, more ice cream. I always eat my ice cream in a coffee cup for portion control.

I haven’t weighed since mid-Sept. I’m seeking God’s will for my goal weight.           Now I can wear size 10 dress pants. Wow! I don’t ever remember wearing that size in my life. I plan to weigh on November 1. I’ll let ya’ll know how it turned out. Then I guess I’ll discover what maintenance is.

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87 pounds forever gone!

So far, 87 pounds of excess weight gone forever. Since I’m not on a diet, I have nothing to go off of. I am eating normal just less. I can live with that. I feel like a walking, talking miracle. God has set me free from a lifetime of obesity, obsessive dieting, (another form of bondage, and a failure complex. I’m walking in the gift of His victory for me. It’s not through my works, but through His grace. He has healed me and set me free.

Eau de Butter Cream Parfum 

(True story.)  When she walked into the room the fragrance of sweetness followed her. As she stood still, the aroma settled over her. Everyone could smell the sweetness that surrounded her. I leaned back to breathe in the sweetness. Hmmm.

I whispered to my sister-in-law, “What’s that fragrance she’s wearing? I love it. I want some for myself.”  Continue reading