I’m just a spoiled brat. I’m one of God’s children, but I’m still a spoiled brat. I drag around my blanket (self-will) and my pacifier (my sin of choice). I long to join the “big boys and girls” that are outside the nursery (the spiritually mature). I constantly stand at the window and watch them play outside. I want to be like them; I want to be able to play outside. But I can’t! As long as I hold on to my blanket and pacifier, I will never be able to leave the nursery.
My Father came to me and told me that if I will give Him my blanket and pacifier, I will be able to grow up and join the “big girls and boys” outside. My eyes immediately began to tear up and I start crying as I clutch my blanket and pacifier even closer to my heart. I started to run away, but my Father caught me in His arms and spoke to me full of compassion, “It’s alright! You can keep them a little while longer. You’re just not ready to let go and grow up yet. One day you will be ready! But remember this above all-I love you just the way you are! I will always love you no matter what! Then He put His arms around me and hugged me to Himself. I put my arms around His neck and hugged Him back. I am so happy, my Father loves me no matter what!
Later on as I examined my blanket and pacifier more closely, I noticed for the first time just how dirty and nasty they were. I have a habit of dropping my pacifier on the floor and then picking it back up to suck on it some more. I do this all the time without even thinking about it. But this time, I pick it up off the floor and looked at it closely. It has dirt and fuzz all on it, there’s even hair wrapped around it! I’m always dragging my blanket behind me wherever I go. The edges are now frayed and covered with stains. It is so filthy. For the first time AI saw how really nasty they were. They looked so horrible and disgusting! How do I stand these filthy things?
I then carried my blanket and pacifier to my Father to be cleaned up. But when He reached out His hand to take them, I jerked them back, clutched them to my heart and ran screaming, “No! No! I want to keep them! Don’t take them away from me now!” I loved my blanket and pacifier so much that I just couldn’t let go of them!
As time went by, I continued to watch the “big girls and boys” outside my nursery window. They were laughing and playing. They seemed to be so full of joy and excitement. They looked like they were having so much fun! I was stuck in this boring nursery. I couldn’t go outside to be with them because of this stupid blanket and pacifier!
Finally, I’d had enough of watching others grow and being able to be outside full of joy! I then made a decision! I decided to give my blanket and pacifier to my Father, besides even I could see now just how filthy and nasty they were! I didn’t want them anymore! I went to my Father. I gave Him the blanket and the pacifier. He washed them all clean again just like new, and then He placed them in a closet. As He shut the closet door, I panicked and started crying! I wanted them back! I threw myself on the floor, crying, screaming, and kicking! My Father looked at me with a sad face but full of compassion for this spoiled child of His. He picked me up in His arms and held me. I’m still crying, screaming, and kicking. He opened the closet door, got out my blanket and pacifier, and gave them back to me. Immediately, I became quiet but still had tears running down my face. My Father continued to hold me as He looked at me with sadness in His eyes, and said to me, “You thought that you were ready to let them go, but you really weren’t. I’m so sorry for you! Maybe later on you will be ready.” Then He hugged me, kissed me gently and said softly to me, “I still love you no matter what, my little baby!” The He put me down and I ran happily back to the nursery.
Day after day I continued to watch the “big girls and boys” outside my nursery window. I longed to go outside and play with them. They looked as though they were having so much fun! But sadly, I can’t! I have to stay in the nursery with my blanket and pacifier! One day as I was watching the “big girls and boys”, I saw something that I hadn’t ever seen before! I was lying on the floor with my blanket wrapped over my head and my hand was rubbing the satin border. I was happily sucking on my pacifier as I watched out the window. Suddenly, I stood up and pressed my nose up against the window to get a better look. I dropped my blanket as I placed my hands up against the window. My pacifier fell to the floor as I opened my mouth in surprised wonder at what I saw!
My “Daddy” is out there with them! Tears started rolling down my face as I started crying. I wanted my “Daddy”! They get to be outside with my “Daddy”! I sat down, leaned my head against the window, and cried some more. Finally I stop crying, pick up my pacifier up off the floor and look at it closely again! I saw all the dirt and filth! Why would anyone want that nasty thing in his or her mouth? I then pick up my blanket and look at it more closely. When it was new, it was pretty. The colors were so bright and cheerful. But now the colors are all faded and dingy. The blanket is so scummy and dirty looking with the stains that are now all over it. Suddenly, the blanket and pacifier don’t look so good anymore. I become filled with disgust as I look at these two things that kept me from being able to be outside with my Daddy! Another tear ran down my face and my lips quivered as I continued to look out the window. I want my Daddy! I want my Daddy!
Suddenly, He looked up and saw me watching out through the window. He hugged and kissed all the other boys and girls as He took the time to speak to each one individually. The He started walking toward the nursery door to come inside. I got all excited with anticipation! My Daddy is coming to see me! I ran to the door holding on to my blanket and pacifier. I was hugging myself with excitement as I waited anxiously for the door to open and my Daddy to walk in! My Daddy is coming to see me! I can’t wait! The door swung open and in walked my Daddy! He picked me up and swung me around as I laughed gleefully! Then He put His arms around me and hugged me tightly to Himself. As He kissed me gently on the cheek, He asked, “How’s my little baby doing today?” As I put my arms around his neck and hugged Him as tightly as I could, my blanket and pacifier fell to the floor. I replied in my sweetest voice, the one I use when I want my way, “Daddy, I want to be outside with You and the big children! I want to run and play! I want to be with you all the time!” Daddy smiles as He hugged me again. Then He replied, “Baby, I want you to be with me too! But the blanket and pacifier will have to stay in the nursery! You will have to leave them here! Are you ready to let them go?”I looked at the blanket and pacifier now lying on the floor. They looked so dirty and nasty, but then I remembered how soft and comforting the blanket was and how much fun it was to suck on the pacifier. Daddy was still holding me in His arms as He looked into my eyes patiently waiting for me to make my decision.
Finally, I hung my head and looked down at the floor. I could not look into His eyes as I replied. I was so ashamed! “Daddy, I’m so scared to let them go! They have always been there for me! My blanket gives me comfort and security! It makes me feel safe! Also, I have always enjoyed my pacifier! It has always given me pleasure any time I wanted, even if it was dirty! Daddy, I’m so afraid! What can I hang on to? What will I have for pleasure or fun if I let go of the pacifier? Daddy, I’m so scared to let them go! But I really want to be outside with you and the other children! I am sick of this boring nursery! I long to be free, but what will I do?”
Daddy held me close to His heart and smiled at me with love in His eyes instead of the disapproval I expected. The He replied, “Baby, you have me! You can hold on to me! I want to be your comfort! I want to show you a life so full of excitement and joy that you can’t even begin to comprehend! You can hold me when you are afraid, I am strong when you are weak! Are you willing to let go of these things and trust me?” Then He reached out toward me and lifted my face up to Him so that I had to look deep into His eyes so full of love and compassion. The He asked me again, “Do you really trust me?”
I started to squirm and struggle while He continued to hold me. “Daddy, I’m so scared, what will I have if I let go of my blanket and pacifier? I’m so afraid!” His voice was so full of compassion as He softly replied, “Baby, you have Me! Hold on to Me! I love you so! Hold on to Me!”
I looked at my Daddy as He waited patiently for my answer. He was so strong. It felt so good to be in His arms now! I love it when He talks to me, just me, special! Daddy always has time for me! I look at His strong muscular arms that now held me so safely. I looked at His face so full of love for me as He waited for me to make my decision. Then I looked down at the blanket and pacifier lying on the floor. They are so dirty and nasty looking. They are lifeless. They don’t love me like my Daddy loves me.
I put my arms around His neck and smiled as I hugged Him as tightly as I could! He smiled at me proudly as I gave my answer. “Daddy, I chose you! I want You to take me by the hand and lead me outside to be with You and the other children. I want to be with You always! I’m ready to grow up in Your presence now!
Daddy gently put me down so that I could walk by His side and He reached out for my hand. I smiled as I placed my hand in His. As He smiled back at me, I could tell that He was so proud of me! He loves me so much! I love Him too! We smiled at each other as He opened the door to my new world. As I stepped through the open door, I knew in my heart that no matter what happened, my Daddy would always be there with me to lead me each step of the way! I was now free! Daddy would always be my source of comfort and pleasure, I just never knew that to receive, I had to let go!
…. “ Assuredly, I say unto you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of Heaven. Therefore whoever humbles himself as this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of Heaven”….. Matthew 18:3-4 NKJV