“Don’t Give Up And Don’t Quit, For I Am With You” (Part 1- My Dilemma)

 

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Don’t give up, My child, for I am with you. I see your discouragement, but I say to you, ‘Don’t give up and don’t quit. Go forth in the victory I have already prepared for you.”

Lord, thank you for my weight loss and teaching me how to eat in submission  Yes, I know I’ve failed You so many times, but You never gave up on me. Thank you Lord for Your mercy. You said don’t give up, but I’m overwhelmed. Now I have more issues I need Your help with, credit card issues.

 

This has been my pattern- First, I conceive what I think are great plans. Then I go forth expecting easy victory. Later as the going gets tough, discouragement comes, and I create a big mess of things, then I decide it’s time to seek Your will after the fact.

Lord, please help me remember ‘Seek Your will first’ not after it gets hard. Sometimes I give up on my plans, then later decide maybe it’s now the time to consult You. Forgive me Lord, for not consulting You first.

I’ve gotten so discouraged I quit writing. It isn’t that I didn’t want to write, I was just too discouraged to write. So I told myself, “There’s nothing to write about.” Lord, what do You want me to do? I know You said, “Don’t give up,” but have I let the serpent and his discouragement stop me?  Did he steal my testimony? Am I to go forward even though I feel like a failure?

Lord, I read about the success of others and how they made money through writing a blog.  I  thought, “Wow, I can do this.” So  my focus became ‘make money’ instead of giving You praise and honor for what You’ve already done for me. Lord, I let you down and caused You embarrassment. Please forgive me.

A few years ago, You inspired me to write a book and it’s now published. So many have said how it encouraged and blessed them. Thank you for this gift used to encourage others with their weight loss struggles.

In 2014, the first publisher I consulted said an author needed 600 blog subscribers before he would consider publishing their book. He encouraged me to continue writing the blog. Lord, I worked hard and acquired over 750  subscribers.

That same publisher decided not to publish even after I paid their editor $600 to edit my book according to their standards. What a  disappointment! I won’t shop in their bookstore because of this. Help me to forgive them. Sigh. Later I acquired another publisher and paid her $1800 which included more editing according to her standards.

Surprise, surprise. This book didn’t make the NY Times bestseller list. But Lord, I am grateful for all those who told me how this book helped  them in their weight loss struggles. Some have told me this book could help with other addictions as well. You Lord, wrote half that book. That’s the reason it touched their hearts. Your Words never return void.

Later I met a successful blogger who advised me to monetize my blog in order to make money. It all sounded great, she was making good money. So I switched servers, become self-hosted, and expected the money to roll in. This resulted in more expenses, subscribers lost in cyberspace, and more credit card debt.

It’s easy to invest financially in a dream especially when you use a credit card. The pain comes later with the bill. But You see, I didn’t realize the hours and work required to create a return profit from a blog. Now I think I’ve become addicted to credit cards due to the fantasy of becoming rich and famous through writing.  Lord, why didn’t I wait for Your guidance and Your wisdom? Maybe I should read the book I wrote and apply it’s lessons to my credit card addiction.

I continued in my foolishness by hiring a blog tech professional to make tech changes so I could make a profit from this blog. Throughout the year I ended up paying her over a thousand for tech work and all of these expenses were again placed on a credit card – more error of errors.

Before the focus became ‘make money’ my purpose was to encourage others with their weight loss struggles. Encouraging others  was very satisfying. Making a profit wasn’t even considered and I enjoyed my new friends via blogville. We encouraged each other. We profited in friendships.

I apologize to You, Lord. Got my eyes off You and on the possibilities of financial dreams achieved through self effort.

The first blog professional advised me to post on all social media links for blog success, FB, Twitter, LinkedIn, and Pinterest, etc.  In all these I tried posting scripture and encouragement for others but it all seems pointless now.

Lord, I thought You told me to feed Your people three times daily, as much as I eat- feed others Your Word. Was that My wishful thinking, self motivation, or really You? Lord, has all this been ‘self’ and I just thought it was my ministry? I must confess to You I wanted fame and fortune. Now all I have is credit card debt, lack of motivation, discouragement, and knowing how I embarrassed You.

What do You want from Me? You tell me, “Don’t Give Up?” I do want to serve You. I do want to encourage others in their struggles, especially in weight loss. Lord, this weight You helped me lose is nothing short of a miracle. You’ve told me before, “Don’t give up and don’t quit.” So what do I do now?

Now I wonder, am I to encourage others to rid themselves of credit card debt, just like I need to? You know, helping others through the example your own struggles. I had an excessive weight problem due to my food addiction and now this credit card debt is an excessive weight on my shoulders.

I don’t want to ask my husband to bail me out of this one. He’s done it once before and it’s not fair to ask him to bail me out again. Is this self pride or is it embarrassment that I have to ask his help again? Lord, he doesn’t deserve a foolish wife running up debt. I’m supposed to be a helpmate, not debt weight. Could You help me somehow to break away from credit card weight, just like You helped me with my excess body weight?

I still feel lost, confused, and unmotivated. I do apologize to You for being motivated to make money instead of helping others. Please forgive me and help me to start over again. Through all this, I am learning that people are more important than money especially to You Lord.

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I was taught “Serve family first, then others.” I’m trying to do that now, but I miss the people connections of blogville. I enjoyed telling others of Your power to deliver from excess weight. Now I have this excess credit card weight overwhelming me. I know You said, “Don’t give up?” Lord, can You help me? What is Your will for me now?

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Continued to Part 2- His Answer:

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If you want to know what God wants you to do, ask Him, and He will gladly tell you, for He is always ready to give a bountiful supply of wisdom to all who ask Him will not resent it. James 1:5 TLB

And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus. Philippians  4:6

But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.           I Corinthians 15:57

 For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God. Ephesians 2:

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2 thoughts on ““Don’t Give Up And Don’t Quit, For I Am With You” (Part 1- My Dilemma)”

  1. Debbie,
    First big hugs to you.
    Second I so understand your need to make money. I have been there and unsuccessful. Some of us are just not meant to make money but we make so much more- lots of lovely friends, for instance. And our relationships are very strong. And we have courage to post our mistakes on public forums for everyone to see. No hiding behind a facade, there. So we have a basic honesty, which is very good in Christian living, as I see it.
    Now about the credit card debt. I think you might need to cut down on expenses or close your credit card – no more expenditure first and then try to settle all the dues first before you spend a penny more on credit. Not asking hubby for help is good but ask God.
    Third, continue to tithe- that really helps in the finances.
    Fourth, a small part time job maybe just to tide over the debt ?
    Susie

    1. Thank you Susie for your wise advice. It is well taken, you are so correct. Thank you for the wise advice, encouraging words, and for being my friend.
      God’s rich love to you, my friend. That’s the greatest blessing of all,
      Deb
      PS: Sorry about my late response, I just saw this today.

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