Backslidden & Inconsistent -With the Holy 30 Devotional – Day 25 & 26

Lord, I’ve backslidden and gained some weight.  I may as well be honest with You and everyone else.. . . . I’ve fell off the wagon. . . .Could You have mercy on me? (At this time I’ve gained approx. 30 lbs. throughout 2017, but lost 4 lbs. this week. Thank you Jesus.)

How did this happen? When did it happen? I remember last February on our trip to Israel, I wore size 10 jeans with tights under them due to the cold. Now I can’t get into those size 10 pants. And all my skirts are way too tight. Lord, . . . what happened? When did this happen? How could I do this? I’m so ashamed.

Let’s see. . .  as I look back over last years’s datebook I see I had gained 10 pounds by last April, then another 10 by July, and then another 10 by October. In my datebook I kept documentation of my weight as it slowly went up and down, but mostly up. How could I go backwards? I’ve lost my testimony of Your delivering power.

I can just hear Satan snickering now as he asks You, “Have You noticed Your servant, Deborah? Getting a little plump around the middle, don’t You think?” Then he laughs in Your face. . . Lord, . . . (hanging my head in shame) please forgive me for embarrassing You.

Help me find my way back to victory again. Is it possible? Or have I gone too far backwards? Lord, I don’t want to weigh over 240 again. And for another thing, I want my beautiful size 10 clothes back. Is there any hope for me?

Child, you didn’t fall off a wagon. No, you fell out of My will. You chose your will for instant gratification, not Mine. Yes, I will forgive you I will help you. But you will choose how long this process takes. It depends on your willingness to trust Me and follow My directions. My child, all things are possible.

Between last Saturday and today, Monday, I’ve gained  5 pounds. How did this happen? I had made such good progress. It took all week to lose that 5 pounds and now I’ve gained it back in two days.  Two days?

My father-in-law (97 yrs.) passed away last week and his funeral was last Saturday. Here in the South, we feed the grieving.  Lord, even though I ate a little dessert, I thought I ate in submission to Your instructions at the funeral meal. I know I said I was going to give up desserts until I got back into my size 10 pants, but it was just a bite of cake and a half cookie.

Then on the same day, Saturday evening, my sister’s grandchild got married. A wedding and a funeral on the same day. I’m so tired. Can I do this? It was a beautiful wedding. But while there, I ate the appetizers, including the chocolate covered strawberries. By then I had lost control and went back for more. Thank you Lord, there were none left.  Why didn’t I just drink coffee or lemonade without eating? Those appetizers were my third meal of the day.

Then after we returned home, one of the church members brought by some homemade taco soup. More “feed the grieving”. Thank you Lord, I’m so tired and  there is no way I could cook supper. It was so good, I wanted more, but ate chocolate sugar free popsicles instead. But then before bed, I was eating the cold taco soup with a spoon right out of the refrigerator followed by chunks of sweet rolls too. Backslidden into gluttony.

Lord, will I ever be free of this compulsion to overeat?

Yes child, you will. You broke free once before and you will again. With My power you can achieve anything. You can defeat your enemies. You can overcome. Your victory is assured, for I have won the victory over all. 

Lord, why do I do this? How can I destroy this compulsive pattern of compulsive overeating?

Child, I have already destroyed it. 

Then why am I so easily defeated? Lord, I’ve backslidden into gluttony. Why?

Because you haven’t accepted My victory. You expect to fail. You have given the food power by your expectation of defeat. Now expect victory. Praise Me for your victory, for I am your victory. Sing “Victory in Jesus”. 

Child, you will succeed again. It will not be through your work, but it will be through My already won victory. 


Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy, the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith. I Peter 5: 8-9

With God, everything is possible. Matthew 19:26

You are truly My disciples if you live as I tell you to, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. John 8:31-32


Remember, I did not write these devotionals, but this sounds like me.

**The short devotional, “Holy 30” (See picture of Day 25 & Day 26) is based on I Peter 1:16. First Baptist of Tillman’s Corner published this devotional. I didn’t write any of it, but I do have permission to share it with you.

If you would like some additional information about our church check out this website: . You can also listen to some sermons from our pastors. Enjoy them, I do.

Don’t Let The Serpent Steal Your Testimony


“Don’t let the serpent steal your testimony,” the speaker stated as she stood in front of  listening ladies. She looked at each lady in the group and repeated, “Don’t let the serpent steal your testimony.”

. . . Lord, she doesn’t know me. So how did she know I was struggling with feelings of defeat. How did she know? I sense You’re smiling because You know how she knew.   IMG_2353 Continue reading Don’t Let The Serpent Steal Your Testimony

Strength Came, Destroyed Fear, Her Enemy

img_5581“Strength Came, Destroyed Fear, Her Enemy” was written over two years ago. Even though it’s fiction, I think it’s relevant to our lives now. What gave her victory? Consider, what will give you victory?

Imagination wrote this fiction story. Then again, maybe this is how it really happened, maybe not. Only God knows. But what do you think? Use your imagination. How do you think she felt? Continue reading Strength Came, Destroyed Fear, Her Enemy

January Victory Calendar & Hallelujahs!


Happy New Year!

It’s a new day! It’s a new beginning! My God is a God of second chances. With this new year He is giving me more second chances.

New victory calendar

This is a link to the new Victory Calendar for January 2016. I pray it works better for you than it did for me. I have some helpful hints at the bottom of this post. Hopefully they will work for you.

Continue reading January Victory Calendar & Hallelujahs!

Believe He Will

Several years ago I heard one of my granddaughters singing and it ministered to my heart, the chorus of Trust and Obey:

  • Trust and obey
  • for there’s no other way
  • to be happy in Jesus,
  • but to trust and obey.

Easy to say, but sometimes hard to do.

. . . the joy of the Lord is your strength. (Nehemiah 8:10)

Lord, all my life I heard, “You need to lose weight. You need to go on a diet.” Long ago, the doctor wrote on my chart- “Obese.” That word stayed on my medical chart for years. Many people have advised me on how to diet. Some of those I paid money to for their advice. Now people are telling me I’m too skinny. They say, “Stop losing weight.” Even my doctor has now said, “Don’t lose any more.” Then she added, “Well, maybe five more pounds.” Continue reading Believe He Will



20130411-094416.jpg  Lord, I’m so afraid of those scales. Tomorrow is “weigh” day and I’m scared. I can’t take it anymore.

My child, know that your worth is  not determined by the number on a machine. I created you and you’re worth so much more. I gave My life for you, therefore you are truly valuable indeed. Trust Me. Continue reading FEAR AND VICTORY



20131016-044541.jpg   Lord, why am I not losing more weight? Why does it seem I’m going backwards? My scales tell me I’m gaining, but why? I’m eating the same as before. So. . . why am I struggling with the scales now?

I didn’t exercise before and lost over 70 pounds. Now that I’m exercising, why haven’t I lost more weight? I see the finish line of this journey. I need to finish in victory. I need Your help. What’s going on? I don’t understand.

  Continue reading MY CHILD, I BRING YOU VICTORY


IMG_1881 I have joined a writer’s group that submits a story every week based on a scripture cue. I would like to share them with you, although they won’t all relate to weight loss. Then again, they may. Hope you enjoy.

I have enjoyed writing for this group. My stories are a little odd, but I pray asking God for guidance each week. I also draw from my personal life/feelings as I write about the characters. It’s fun. I enjoy it.

The following story, although it’s about a prostitute’s journey, it does relate to my weight loss. For years I would worship God, ask Him to guide me to His will, and then I ran to my other lover, the pleasure of food.  Yes, I admit my other lover was food pleasure. Therefore I sold out my body to another, I was a prostitute. Continue reading HOPE AND VICTORY