Edge of Victory

Lord, my temptations have not brought me the joy of victory. No, instead they’ve brought failure and defeat. I’ve failed all the tests and have become completely entangled again in bingeing and eating until I’m sick, bloated, and gaining weight. Now I’m standing here before You in guilt and shame at the edge of failure.

No . . . My Child, you’re not standing at the edge of failure. You’re now standing at the edge of victory. Call on My Name – Jesus- for I am your victory.

Lord, I thought I was at victory before, but here I am now back at binge land. At this moment I’m the heaviest I’ve been since 2014. My face has been in the feeding trough, the slop bucket. In the book, “Jesus Calling” by Sarah Young,  (pg. 321) You stated that You weren’t repelled by our weaknesses. No, instead You said Your power was attracted to our weakness. How can You be attracted by my gluttony?

Yes My child, I am drawn to your weakness for I long to help those I love. I always want to help you succeed just as you always want to help those you love. For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4:15-16 NKJV

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My Child, I’ve come to offer you mercy, grace, and help you in your need of deliverance. Now I want to see you free of all this that has you entangled in bondage.

Lord, I feel nothing.

My child, you don’t have to feel Me to know I am with you.

Lord, I’m miserable now.

My child, I know this for I designed it that way. At the time you’re in sin, it seems enjoyable, but eventually sin brings forth great misery.  Without the misery within sin, you wouldn’t cry out to Me.

Lord, I’m at another bottom, a sinkhole of misery. I feel as though I’m sinking in a food vat, a greasy food vat. Lord, I want what we once had before. I want to return to my joy within Your Presence. Can I come back to You?

Child, come here.

Lord, I don’t know what to do now.

Come here, I will lead you.

Lord, I want more of You.

Then My child, let go. Let go of what is in your hand because you can’t receive unless you let go.

Have mercy upon me, O God,
According to Your lovingkindness;
According to the multitude of Your tender mercies,
Blot out my transgressions.
Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,
And cleanse me from my sin. Psalm 51:1-2

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Lord, would You cleanse me, wash me, and deliver me again from my own sin of  destruction. Overall I feel doomed to keep repeating this sin of gluttony.

My child, in fact you aren’t doomed for I’ve already set you free.  As a matter of fact it was My Blood that paid the price required for your freedom.

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He has delivered us from the power of darkness and conveyed us into the kingdom of the Son of His love, in whom we have redemption through His blood the forgiveness of sins. Colossians 1:13-14

* Note: The Lord is helping me. Yes I made a lot of wrong choices, but praising God for His love, mercy and forgiveness. I’ve lost 4 pounds since writing this post. I don’t understand how He could be so patient with me.

I remember back in 2014, a potential publisher told me, “If we publish your book, you can never gain your weight back. It would be an embarrassment to our company.”

Someone once told me that angels are watching us and cheering us on. It’s occurred to me that I must follow God’s will especially with my eating. After all, when I overeat am I embarrassing God in front of His angels?

I’m so grateful He is giving me another chance to eat with Him again. Thank you Lord for Your love and mercy.

He’s patient with you too. He is full of love and mercy for you too, no matter what your past choices were. Go to Him and tell Him all about your issues. I promise He’ll listen. If He listens to me, He will listen to you. He loves you ever so greatly.

 

Don’t Give Up And Don’t Quit, For I Am With You (Part Two- His Answer)

 

IMG_9689Don’t give up My child, for I am with you. I see your discouragement, but I say to you, ‘Don’t give up and don’t quit. Go forth in the victory I have already prepared for you.”

Lord, thank you for my weight loss and teaching me how to eat in submission  Yes, I know I’ve failed You so many times, but You never gave up on me. Thank you Lord for Your mercy. You said don’t give up, but I’m overwhelmed. Now I have more issues I need Your help with, credit card issues.

Continue reading Don’t Give Up And Don’t Quit, For I Am With You (Part Two- His Answer)

“Don’t Give Up And Don’t Quit, For I Am With You” (Part 1- My Dilemma)

 

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Don’t give up, My child, for I am with you. I see your discouragement, but I say to you, ‘Don’t give up and don’t quit. Go forth in the victory I have already prepared for you.”

Lord, thank you for my weight loss and teaching me how to eat in submission  Yes, I know I’ve failed You so many times, but You never gave up on me. Thank you Lord for Your mercy. You said don’t give up, but I’m overwhelmed. Now I have more issues I need Your help with, credit card issues.

 

Continue reading “Don’t Give Up And Don’t Quit, For I Am With You” (Part 1- My Dilemma)

Today’s A New Day Of Mercy

 

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Lord, today’s a new day of mercy. Thank you for Your mercy. . . . Continue reading Today’s A New Day Of Mercy

God Wants Your Deliverance

To you, the one struggling now, God wants your deliverance. He loves you very much. He knows your heart and sees the goodness therein.

Continue reading God Wants Your Deliverance

I Had A Dream of the Number 8747? What?

Lord, last week I had a dream in which I saw the number 8747.IMG_1426 What can this mean? When I googled it, “The Dictionary of Bible Themes” revealed this number represents false gods. What? Did You send this dream to warn me of danger when I use food for comfort or when I use a credit card to supply what we have need of? Are credit cards false providers, thereby false gods who entrap?

Continue reading I Had A Dream of the Number 8747? What?

Removing Leftovers & More Christmas Shopping, the Easy Way

The refrigerator’s full of Thanksgiving leftovers. I love them. Love all leftovers. You get to enjoy more meals without cooking again. One friend said, “Cook once, enjoy twice or more.” I agree, don’t you?

In the past Thanksgiving leftovers meant binge weekend, especially if Hubby went to work. No witnesses, no crime, right? I used to make a soup out of leftover dressing, then eat one bowl after another until I was sick. What kind of life was that? Can you imagine how all that cornbread dressing swelled up inside a body? It would probably make a good glue, ya think? Continue reading Removing Leftovers & More Christmas Shopping, the Easy Way

10 Victory Soul Medications, Kill the Virus of Temptation

“10 Victory Soul Medications to Kill the virus of Temptation” are scriptures to print and post in your area of temptation. These medications are to be used as needed throughout this holiday season. Mine will go on the refrigerator to be taken before eating anything. I may put a copy in my purse before eating in restaurants. Before food enters my mouth, I need my medication first. What about you?

Continue reading 10 Victory Soul Medications, Kill the Virus of Temptation

Seven Secrets: How to Eat Thanksgiving Day

IMG_3421How do you plan to eat Thanksgiving Day? Are you going to throw out caution and go for the binge day of all time? If so, how will you feel on Black Friday? Will you be too sick and bloated to shop or do you sleep it off during the football game?

One way I used to eat Thanksgiving was skip breakfast, eat all and everything I wanted for the grand Thanksgiving meal, and then eat some more into the night until I passed out in the Lazy boy, and waddled off to bed. Have you ever done that? Continue reading Seven Secrets: How to Eat Thanksgiving Day

Blaming God

Yes, it’s true. I’m blaming God with it.

As we left for the marriage seminar cruise, I was filled with excitement and apprehension. Hubby and I went with a large group from our church and headed for the Caribbean on Nov. 7th , 2016.

2016-11-11-10-21-39Lord, that ship is going to be filled with abundant food. How will I handle it? If someone tries to pressure me to eat, I think I’ll clobber ’em. I’m afraid, what if I go crazy and eat everything? How can I explain that to my ladies weight loss support group at church? They all assured me they would be praying for me. How can I be so afraid of “The Gluttony Ship?” Food everywhere I look, food, food, and more food. Lord, how can I manage all this food? Help! Continue reading Blaming God