Breakthrough! Praise God!

Breakthrough! At last, hallelujah! Breakthrough! Last week we decided to break out and run away to the Smoky Mountains. Voted Tuesday. Then we left for Gatlinburg, Tennessee to look at leaves.

Before we left, I weighed myself. “Lord, help me lose weight on this trip.” On past trips I usually gained weight. But previously this month, I made a vow to God. “Lord, if You will help me, I’ll only eat three meals a day, half portions, no snacks, and (big sacrifice) . . . no desserts for 40 days.”

All this year I’ve been maintaining, but with a previous gain of 30 lb.  +/-  from last winter. Can’t seem to break this weight gain. Got to have a breakthrough of some kind. If only He would help me, maybe I can get back to where I once was?  Back in the weight loss land of victory. . . size 10.

“Lord, help me lose weight on this trip. I don’t want to gain more and I really want to be used by You.”  On the way there, I confessed to Hubby, “I wished I had never disobeyed God, how He told me to eat. He told me back then, to eat only three meals a day, half portions, and no snacks.”

After I wore those size 10s for almost two years, I went back to my old way of eating and gained 30lbs. back. “Now look at me. I’m an embarrassment to God. After He delivered me with a 90 lbs. weight loss, what did I do? Go back to my old ways. Wish I never did that. Now it’s hard. My body wants to keep everything I feed it, no matter what.”

“They say once you get older, (I’m now 65.) it’s harder to lose weight. Guess I’m there now. My body won’t let it go. Just can’t get breakthrough. I’m stuck at this weight, at this size. Why, why did I backslide? Why?”

The next morning, I cried out to God, “Lord, I want to be used by You to help others.”

Then you must be broken. I use always use broken people.

“What? . . . Okay Lord, break me. Help me be willing to be used however You see fit. Just no pain please, I don’t like pain.”

The first day, we went to Cades Cove. Beautiful. Have you ever just felt like you could breathe easier looking at all God’s beautiful creation? It was gorgeous. Words cannot express the beauty, everywhere you look.

On the way there,  mountain streams were flowing and splashing. Beautiful. Just breathe and relax.


Beautiful Mountain Streams

While there, we ate out a lot. God helped me keep my vow to Him. Ate only three meals, half portions (for the most part), no snacks, and certainly no desserts. It was a real struggle. One restaurant in Pigeon Forge, The Mill, brought us so much food, even Hubby couldn’t eat all his. I heard one lady while standing in line, tell another, “You get ready to eat now.”

She was right. To begin with, they brought us a small bowl of corn chowder (ate it all). Then they brought us a side salad (ate it all). After that, the entree, along with two sides. I had ordered chicken pot pie (ate half of it). It came with two sides. They brought a large bowl of green beans and a sweet potato (didn’t eat either of those, got a take-out instead). Also included was a dessert (didn’t eat any of it, another take-out for Hubby later). The next evening we ate our leftovers for supper, saved some money.

The morning after we arrived back at home, I stood before the scales. Then God spoke to my heart, “Come spend time with Me first.”  And what did I do? Stood on the scales. Lost less than a pound. What? After all that food I passed up? After all I didn’t eat? How could this be?

Then I remembered how God wanted time with me first. Oh. . .  “Lord, I’m sorry. Again I hurt Your feelings. You wanted time with me and I chose the scales first. I’m sorry. Please forgive me.” Thinking, “Well, at least I kept my vow.”

Last Sunday, bought sweets from Senior Choir bake sale. Didn’t eat any. None. Then on Monday, had grandkids over. They ate popcorn. I didn’t. All those sweets and snacks. I looked at them Monday night and thought, “What’s the use?” Looked at them again. “Nope, I’m going to keep my promise to God this time.”

The following Tuesday morning, I looked at the scales. Then I walked away. “It doesn’t matter what the scales say. My relationship with my Lord is more important. He’ll be first today.” Then I went to my prayer spot for personal time with Him. Today He will be first.

Later, after I had cooked breakfast for Hubby, I weighed before eating breakfast. Wow! Breakthrough! LOST TWO POUNDS! Haven’t been this weight since last March. Praise You Lord!

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So now we come freely and boldly to where love is enthroned, to receive mercy’s kiss and discover the grace we urgently need to strengthen us in our time of weakness. Hebrews 4:16 TPT

Gaze upon Him, join your life with His, and joy will come. Your faces will glisten with glory. You’ll never wear that shame-face again. When I had nothing, desperate and defeated, I cried out to the Lord and He heard me, bringing HIs miracle- deliverance when I needed it the most.”  Psalms 34:5-6 TPT

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Anticipated New Beginning With Expectation

 

Lord, is it possible to have a new beginning with You again? Could You forgive me about last nights ice cream? Oh, and the cookies, chips, nuts, and granola bar too. Please forgive me for last night’s binge. And, thank you the scales didn’t go up this morning. That’s a sure miracle. Your mercy amazes me, especially with all my mess-ups. and backsliding.

My friend has been fasting in prayer for her brother who’s sick. She’s lost noticeable weight and looks good too. Yes, I do want to lose more weight, but I also want to maintain the fullness of Your Presence. I want to feel victorious so I can pray without feeling ashamed due to my own sins of gluttony. It’s my desire to make You proud as I eat in submission to Your will. You know what’s best for my body and I trust You. I just have a weakness resisting pleasure food. Help me, allow me to start over again with You.

Child, I’m the God of many second chances. I died so that you (and others too) could be cleansed and delivered from ALL sins. I died so that you could enter into the Almighty Presence of God. None is worthy. No, not one. It’s only because of the price I paid, the shedding of My blood as a sacrifice – the price I gave freely so that you and others could enter in My Presence. 

Lord, how can I make You proud?

Love Me, seek Me, and trust Me. Listen and obey, for there is no other way. There’s much truth in that child’s song. Let the little children lead you. Behold, how easily they trust and love. You should do the same. Follow their example. There’s much truth in the saying, “The little children shall lead them.”

Okay Lord, I’ll try. But I need Your guidance. How do You want me to eat so I can be a testimony of Your forgiveness and Your delivering power?  Others who are struggling need to know You can deliver them, especially when what they need is deliverance from their own selves? That’s what causes most of all my problems- self, myself.

Lord, do You want me to eat only two meals a day or just three meals a day, give up all desserts, or just give all my favorite pleasure foods? Do I wait until I am physically hungry to eat? Do I only eat half portions? Should I get hungry and stay hungry?

Yesterday I started out with intentions to eating only two meals. Then I got real hungry and ate past full. Later last night, I rationalized that ice cream could be my third meal. Well, we both know where that led to – another binge. I should have drank something instead.

Now I’m at another bottom with my weight. This is the biggest I’ve since 2014. I want my size 10 pants back. Where do You want me with my eating and my weight? Help me obey You and eat what is good for this body You gave me. I want to become stronger, both physically and spiritually, mentally too.

Child, as You seek My will for your eating, some days you’ll be led to eat only two meals, and some days three meals. Occasionally, I may lead you to eat no meals. Each day will be a new beginning. These new beginnings won’t be the same as a new beginning after a binge, but a new day of learning to trust Me and walking in My will.

I want you to learn how to trust, listen, and then obey as I lead you. With each new day as you practice these skills, You will grow stronger. Again, your focus is not to follow rules, but instead your focus will be to deny yourself and follow Me. I want you to learn how to deny yourself and become stronger in My Presence. When your self is completely defeated, then your victory is achieved. Self is your enemy. You must learn and become efficient in defeating self.

This watermelon weighs 190 pounds. Thank you Lord, that’s more than me!

Thank you Lord for talking with me and giving me Your instructions yet another time in my struggles with this food addiction. I’m amazed over Your mercy and Your love toward me. You have shown me yet another time of mercy.  This I know, I don’t deserve Your love. I can’t earn it, but I want it. Thank you for loving me. Help me to please You in every way that I am or ever will be.

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                        . . . do not worry about your life, what you will eat nor about the body, what you will put on. Life is more than food and the body is more than clothing. Luke 12:22-23. 

. . . choose life, . . . that you may love the Lord your God, that you may obey His voice, and that you may cling to Him, for He is your life . . . Deuteronomy 30: 19-20

Grace, mercy, and peace will be with you from God the Father and from the Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of the Father, in truth and love. 2 John 1:3 

Why Can’t I Eat What I Want Now?

Lord, what do You want me to eat today? While this past week I thought I was following Your directions . . . except for a few desserts. Since I gained 2 pounds, I’m at a loss. Lord, I want to give up and just eat everything. Why can’t I eat what I want now? And eat it all. Why can’t I?

Even though I want to eat everything, I know this won’t help my situation. So would You please help me with food selection? Now tell me, do I try to semi-fast for 40 days? Rather should I give up desserts since that’s my problem?

Child, you haven’t succeeded yet with fasting your social media or eating after supper. So what do you want? Do you want more instructions, or rather more rules?  Rules that you know you won’t follow?

Oh Lord, I don’t know. All I do know is that I want my size 10 pants back. How do I get them back? What can I do to make these scales go down instead of up? Why can’t I have my size 10’s and eat everything I want? Why can’t I?

You have much to learn. 

Lord, at my age, you’d think I would already know what I need to know.

Child, you are only beginning to learn. Now what do you want more, those size 10 pants, or My Presence?

Lord, I know what the correct answer should be. But I really want my size 10 pants back?

Ahhh, . . . what I have here is an honest child.

Lord, I might as well tell You the truth. You already know all things, so why lie to You? Can You help me? Will You help me?

Child, I’m going to do more than that. You watch and see. 

There is more to come and more to come off too. And I’m not just talking about your weight. There is more to come off of you, My child, characteristics, habits, wrong thoughts, and bad attitudes, not to mention your selfishness. I am going to change you completely in all ways.

Lord, I’m scared. After all, I don’t like pain and this sounds painful.

Trust Me, My child. Doubt, that’s the first thing you are going to lose. Doubt.

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For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. Roman 8: 5

Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. Romans 8:37

You see, every child of God overcomes the world, for our faith is the victorious power that triumphs over the world. So who are the conquerors, defeating its power? Those who believe that Jesus is the Son of God. 1 John 5: 4,5 The Passion Translation

Got Plastered/ Holy 30 Devotional- Day 29 & 30

Lord, is there any hope for me? I must confess, but You saw what I did and You know. Yesterday, I got plastered, yes plastered, by my drug of choice- food. (*See note at end.)

I choose to be a vegetable yesterday, not eat vegetables, but BE a vegetable. I sat in my chair all day, watched movies , grazed in the kitchen (or my chair), and got plastered on everything I could find to eat. It’s a good thing I was too lazy to go to the store for more. Otherwise, it would have been worse.

Lord, I was so bummed out over this dog situation. I’m never praying for You to send a dog again.

Yes, be careful what you pray for. Sometimes I do give you exactly what you ask for even though it’s not the best for you, just to let you learn what is not best for you. 

You asked for a dog that your husband would like. I sent you a manly dog, tough and macho. Your husband liked him, but you always had that underlying slight fear, especially when you read those bad reports about this breed. 

You feared for your grandchildren feeding this dog while you were gone on your trip, which I orchestrated by the way. But I told you then, that I had shut the mouth of a lion. Then I asked did you not think I could shut the mouth of a dog too?

Yes, that gave you peace, but you can’t deny the relief you felt when you returned and saw all was safe. This dog is leaving your home because I will not have My children living in fear, no matter how unwarranted it is. Child, sometimes fear is a good thing if it is wisdom disguised as fear. But sometimes fear is sent to distract My children from My will and My love for them. Then they take their eyes off of Me and get their eyes focused on their fear instead. Didn’t one of your Presidents say these words? “We have nothing to fear, but fear itself.” 

Yes, I’m giving this dog a new home, rest assured. Then you can focus on what’s left, your husband, your family, your home, the “grand-dog”, and your new assignment.

Yes, I did lead your friend to send you a text of encouragement about her earning four stars in four days, a star for each day of eating in submission to My will. Do you remember how I led you to write that?

Yes Sir.

Now I want you to return back to your starting mark again, specifically the START OVER mark. Return back to My Presence and start over again. You will return to eating food that is beneficial to your body and turn away from this useless, unnecessary food. You will also learn a new way of cooking to benefit your husband. He will lose weight too. Oh, and the grand-dog, Willow, will lose weight as well. Remember how the vet told you that the best thing you can do for this dog is to stop feeding him.

I say stop over feeding him, your husband, your family, and especially yourself. Extra food is not your friend. No, it is your enemy. Extra food steals your victory and leaves you defeated and discouraged. So why do you run to food for comfort?

Now today is a new day. No longer will you say, “I got plastered.” No longer will you turn to food for comfort. Now walk in the path I have prepared for you, which by the way does not include your television. 

Note: This post was written earlier this week. For more information, see the previous post. This post is part two of that story.

At this time life is so much better. Eating is under God’s control now. He is a good God and patient too.

The pit bull was adopted by some relatives of one of our friends. They have 3 acres of land for him to run in. We only have a small suburban yard. His new family stays in contact with me about how’s he doing. They even sent me pictures. It seems all is happy especially the dog.

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Holy 30 Devotional

**This short devotional, “Holy 30” (See picture of Day 29 & Day 30) is based on I Peter 1:16. First Baptist of Tillman’s Corner published this devotional. I didn’t write any of it, but I do have permission to share it with you. These are the last two entries of this devotional.

If you would like some additional information about our church check out this website:    http://www.fbtc.org/ . You can also listen to some sermons from our pastors. Enjoy them, I do.

This is the last of the Holy 30 devotional.

Be blessed My Friend,

Am I An Introvert? – Holy 30 Devotional – Day 17 & Day 18

Lord, am I an introvert? You know how much I enjoy being alone. Studying and writing are alone type activities and they’re so satisfying.

Lord, I read that introverts focus more on internal feelings rather than outside stimulation. Yep, I think that’s me. The article stated that introverts were more quiet, reserved, and introspective. It stated that introverts feel the need to “recharge” by spending time alone after being with a large group of people. That explains why, although I love Sundays at church, I look forward to Mondays, a day of rest after the busy weekend.

What about being a people pleaser? Yep, I could be one of those too. People pleasing is hard work because as someone said, “You can’t please all the people all the time. And it causes stress and frustration when you don’t please those you’re trying to please. I overeat when others are not pleased with me. No wonder, I lean toward being an introvert. Lord, could You help me Stop overeating due to my interactions. Could You help me interact with people better and have unity with others?

My goal should be to share Your love with others. Could You help me share Your love with others? Could You increase my social skills so I can work with others as a team to share Your love?

But Lord, even with my hang ups, I want to serve You. So lead me where You want me to serve You. Where do You want me to serve? Help me find the place of service that I can be part of a team of those working for You.

Also, Lord could the team You put me with actually like me?

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Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:12

You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain, that whatever you ask the Father in My name He may give you. John 15:16

Sing For Your Freedom And Your Victory

Lord, I’ve gained some weight back. How did this happen?

Child, if you listen to Me, then it will be gone.

But Lord, what do I do today?

For now, eat no more until your stomach growls.

But Lord, what if I get invited out to lunch?

Child . . . Trust Me. Now do you want a life of misery or peace?

Lord, I want peace.

Then let go. Let go of your resentment.

Lord, it’s hard to let go. Would You take it from me?

Child, you must remember I can’t take it from you unless you give it to Me.

Here Lord, I give my resentment to You. I’m so tired of “life.” Nothing has turned out like I thought it would. First of all, my dreams of monetary success didn’t happen. Then I keep returning to my source of failure. I feel as tough I’m just going through the motions of life, putting one foot in front of the other, trudging along in boredom and monotony.

Child, if only you’d allow Me to fill you with Myself, My Spirit, then you would find your life exciting.

Okay Lord, how? Tell me, how do I let You fill me?

First My child, I want you to sing to Me.

What? . . . Okay Lord, what do You want me to sing?

How about “Amazing Grace” for now.

 

 

(After singing “Amazing Grace”) Okay, Lord, I’ve sung it. Now what?

Sing it again.

What? Okay. (Sung it again.) Okay Lord, now I sung it. What’s next?

Now sing it again.

(Sung it again.) Lord, now I’ve sung it three times. So what now?

Child, it’s not about you.

What?

It’s not about you.

Well Lord, tell me . . . what is it about?

My grace.

What do You mean?

It’s about My grace. Look up the word grace. Also, look up regeneration and while you’re at it, look up sanctification too.

To begin with My Child, I give you My grace. It is My grace that heals, delivers, and sets free those who are captive in bondage. For it’s My grace that saves you, even from yourself.

Your assignment today is to sing throughout this day, everywhere you go and everything you do. Your first step toward losing this extra weight is singing.

What? This makes no sense.

Trust Me for I know what I’m doing. We’ll talk again tomorrow, but today I want you to sing.

Okay Lord, but what do I sing now?

I like “Jesus Loves Me, This I Know.” Sing that. Through these words you will be released from your personal prison.

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“Sing and rejoice, O daughter of Zion! For behold, I am coming and I will dwell in your midst,” says the Lord. Zechariah 2:10

Acts 16

25 But at midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the prisoners were listening to them. 26 Suddenly there was a great earthquake, so that the foundations of the prison were shaken; and immediately all the doors were opened and everyone’s chains were loosed. 27 And the keeper of the prison, awaking from sleep and seeing the prison doors open, supposing the prisoners had fled, drew his sword and was about to kill himself. 28 But Paul called with a loud voice, saying, “Do yourself no harm, for we are all here.”

29 Then he called for a light, ran in, and fell down trembling before Paul and Silas. 30 And he brought them out and said, “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?”

31 So they said, “Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and you will be saved, you and your household.” 32 Then they spoke the word of the Lord to him and to all who were in his house. 33 And he took them the same hour of the night and washed their stripes. And immediately he and all his family were baptized. 34 Now when he had brought them into his house, he set food before them; and he rejoiced, having believed in God with all his household.

Edge of Victory

Lord, my temptations have not brought me the joy of victory. No, instead they’ve brought failure and defeat. I’ve failed all the tests and have become completely entangled again in bingeing and eating until I’m sick, bloated, and gaining weight. Now I’m standing here before You in guilt and shame at the edge of failure.

No . . . My Child, you’re not standing at the edge of failure. You’re now standing at the edge of victory. Call on My Name – Jesus- for I am your victory.

Lord, I thought I was at victory before, but here I am now back at binge land. At this moment I’m the heaviest I’ve been since 2014. My face has been in the feeding trough, the slop bucket. In the book, “Jesus Calling” by Sarah Young,  (pg. 321) You stated that You weren’t repelled by our weaknesses. No, instead You said Your power was attracted to our weakness. How can You be attracted by my gluttony?

Yes My child, I am drawn to your weakness for I long to help those I love. I always want to help you succeed just as you always want to help those you love. For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4:15-16 NKJV

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My Child, I’ve come to offer you mercy, grace, and help you in your need of deliverance. Now I want to see you free of all this that has you entangled in bondage.

Lord, I feel nothing.

My child, you don’t have to feel Me to know I am with you.

Lord, I’m miserable now.

My child, I know this for I designed it that way. At the time you’re in sin, it seems enjoyable, but eventually sin brings forth great misery.  Without the misery within sin, you wouldn’t cry out to Me.

Lord, I’m at another bottom, a sinkhole of misery. I feel as though I’m sinking in a food vat, a greasy food vat. Lord, I want what we once had before. I want to return to my joy within Your Presence. Can I come back to You?

Child, come here.

Lord, I don’t know what to do now.

Come here, I will lead you.

Lord, I want more of You.

Then My child, let go. Let go of what is in your hand because you can’t receive unless you let go.

Have mercy upon me, O God,
According to Your lovingkindness;
According to the multitude of Your tender mercies,
Blot out my transgressions.
Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,
And cleanse me from my sin. Psalm 51:1-2

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Lord, would You cleanse me, wash me, and deliver me again from my own sin of  destruction. Overall I feel doomed to keep repeating this sin of gluttony.

My child, in fact you aren’t doomed for I’ve already set you free.  As a matter of fact it was My Blood that paid the price required for your freedom.

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He has delivered us from the power of darkness and conveyed us into the kingdom of the Son of His love, in whom we have redemption through His blood the forgiveness of sins. Colossians 1:13-14

* Note: The Lord is helping me. Yes I made a lot of wrong choices, but praising God for His love, mercy and forgiveness. I’ve lost 4 pounds since writing this post. I don’t understand how He could be so patient with me.

I remember back in 2014, a potential publisher told me, “If we publish your book, you can never gain your weight back. It would be an embarrassment to our company.”

Someone once told me that angels are watching us and cheering us on. It’s occurred to me that I must follow God’s will especially with my eating. After all, when I overeat am I embarrassing God in front of His angels?

I’m so grateful He is giving me another chance to eat with Him again. Thank you Lord for Your love and mercy.

He’s patient with you too. He is full of love and mercy for you too, no matter what your past choices were. Go to Him and tell Him all about your issues. I promise He’ll listen. If He listens to me, He will listen to you. He loves you ever so greatly.

 

Don’t Give Up And Don’t Quit, For I Am With You (Part Two- His Answer)

 

IMG_9689Don’t give up My child, for I am with you. I see your discouragement, but I say to you, ‘Don’t give up and don’t quit. Go forth in the victory I have already prepared for you.”

Lord, thank you for my weight loss and teaching me how to eat in submission  Yes, I know I’ve failed You so many times, but You never gave up on me. Thank you Lord for Your mercy. You said don’t give up, but I’m overwhelmed. Now I have more issues I need Your help with, credit card issues.

Continue reading Don’t Give Up And Don’t Quit, For I Am With You (Part Two- His Answer)

“Don’t Give Up And Don’t Quit, For I Am With You” (Part 1- My Dilemma)

 

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Don’t give up, My child, for I am with you. I see your discouragement, but I say to you, ‘Don’t give up and don’t quit. Go forth in the victory I have already prepared for you.”

Lord, thank you for my weight loss and teaching me how to eat in submission  Yes, I know I’ve failed You so many times, but You never gave up on me. Thank you Lord for Your mercy. You said don’t give up, but I’m overwhelmed. Now I have more issues I need Your help with, credit card issues.

 

Continue reading “Don’t Give Up And Don’t Quit, For I Am With You” (Part 1- My Dilemma)

Today’s A New Day Of Mercy

 

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Lord, today’s a new day of mercy. Thank you for Your mercy. . . . Continue reading Today’s A New Day Of Mercy