Blaming God

Yes, it’s true. I’m blaming God with it.

As we left for the marriage seminar cruise, I was filled with excitement and apprehension. Hubby and I went with a large group from our church and headed for the Caribbean on Nov. 7th , 2016.

2016-11-11-10-21-39Lord, that ship is going to be filled with abundant food. How will I handle it? If someone tries to pressure me to eat, I think I’ll clobber ’em. I’m afraid, what if I go crazy and eat everything? How can I explain that to my ladies weight loss support group at church? They all assured me they would be praying for me. How can I be so afraid of “The Gluttony Ship?” Food everywhere I look, food, food, and more food. Lord, how can I manage all this food? Help! Continue reading Blaming God

MY OVERINDULGENCE

IMG_5235Lord Jesus, I weighed the other night at a retail store. I should have known better. I’d already ate two meals of the day, drank four cups coffee, one bottle of water, and three huge glasses of tea. The scales said I’ve gained weight. What did I expect?

The point is I do know I’ve eaten too much. Even though I ‘ve followed the food plan You gave me,  (Eat only three meals a day with half portions, and no snacks) I must confess I ate too many halves of too many desserts.

Oh, how easily gluttony raises its ugly head. How quickly I run to it. Ooh, sweets, ooh, chocolate. Let’s see, I’ll have half of this and half of that, oh yes, I’ll have half of this, that, too. Oh yes, yum. I want it. Give it to me, now. IMG_5411

Lord, I looked at these desserts for pleasure and comfort. Didn’t even asked Your advice. I just went on automatic and turned on the green light. Go, go for it. You can have 1/2 of it all. I told myself, “You’re still doing right because you’re only eating half. You’re still obeying the rules. It’s ok. Oh, look at that, you haven’t had any of that. Go ahead, get some, just eat half. It’s okay to get it, if you just eat half. Oh, get you some girl.”

IMG_5249Lord, I knew I wasn’t losing because I felt full. Even when it was time for the next meal, I still felt full from the previous meal. So I thought, “Let’s exercise. Exercise is good. You’ll work this off.” So I rode the stationary bike 5 miles a day, 4/5 days. I walked two miles some days.

Wrong, it didn’t work that way. I still gained. Got caught with my hand in the cookie jar. So what do I do now? I don’t want to get caught up in counting calories, bondage to dieting, or even excessive exercising to work off my overindulgence.IMG_4029

Lord, I’ve failed again. I’m ashamed at my behavior at the feeding trough. I followed the rules You gave me, but I STILL OVERINDULGED.  I don’t think more rules are the answer. I ‘ve been so distracted by so many things. Instead of looking to You for guidance, my eyes were on the pantry and the desert bar.

Maybe I can fast my desserts. Yes, I’ve done that in the past and it helped, but I do so enjoy a little sweet at the end of my meal.

My child, just don’t eat so many. Two halves do make one whole. Four halves do make two wholes. That’s part of your issue, too many halves. Limit your desserts to just one, one half of one.

Yes Sir. (Hanging my head.)

My child, you have also eaten out Mexican food three times this week and Chinese buffet once. You know these areas are difficult for you, but they both offer salad and vegetables.  You do have options. In the past, it has taken your body a week to recover from one Mexican meal. Now choose a salad or a simple meal, and leave off most of the starchy foods. Even though another person is choosing the restaurant, you choose from the menu. Choose wisely and your body won’t react as much.

I do want you to enjoy your food, but I don’t want you to consider food as the source of your joy. Look to Me for your joy. Yes,  your eyes focused on your food pleasures, not on Me.

Feed on My Word and renew your mind. Feed your spirit and be strengthened. As your spirit grows stronger, the fleshly desires will decrease. If you are full of Me these strongholds and weights that so easily entraps you will leave. It is My Presence that gives you strength to resist temptation.

Now about that pity party you had last night over what that machine told you. Did it make sense for you to overeat at supper because you saw a weight gain? Yes, you still followed the plan I gave you. But you ate half of yours and then some of his half too. You told yourself it’s just half and the “I’ll eat now because I’ll do better tomorrow.” Has that plan ever worked for you before?

No Lord, it never has. It only increased my struggles to break free.

I see. . . My child, today is a new day. You will start over, this time with a new mindset. I am a God of second chances. I specialize in new beginnings, new life.

That’s what I want, a new life free of this bondage to overeating and excess weight. Lord, will this temptation ever go away?

My child, temptation is always there waiting for the opportune time to come forth, but as long as you stay full of My Presence you will have the strength and mindset to resist these temptations. I did not come to give you more rules to follow, I came to bring you freedom. I’ve come to set you free

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God is Spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth.”                   John 4:24 NKJV

Do you not know that you are the temple of God and that the Spirit of God dwells in you?  I Corinthians 3:16 NKJV

Just because something is technically legal doesn’t mean that it’s spiritually appropriate. If I went around doing whatever I thought I could get by with, I’d be a slave to my whims. You know the old saying, “First you eat to live, and then you live to eat”? Well, it may be true that the body is only a temporary thing, but that’s no excuse for stuffing your body with food, or indulging it with sex. Since the Master honors you with a body, honor him with your body! I Corinthians 6:12-13 (The Message)

Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded. James 4: 7-8 NKJV

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IT'S A "GOD" THING – 71 pounds gone.

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At my largest Notice my Celebrate Recovery t-shirt. On the left is Cheryl my 4th accountability partner

In May 2013, I weighed 241 lbs. and served as a cook for Celebrate Recovery. God has a real sense of humor putting me in a place of service right in the middle of my addiction.

Sometimes we “Christians” look down on others thinking to ourselves, “I’m not as bad as that.”  Sin is sin and addiction is addiction. I know.

Continue reading IT'S A "GOD" THING – 71 pounds gone.

MR. POSSUM IS BEAUTIFUL, YOU TOO

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Picture from “Google”. The possum in the story never came back. I hurt his feelings.

Last night, I looked out the back door, stepped forward, then backward to look again. What is that? I stared in amazement. It’s a possum, eating my cat’s leftovers.       I opened the door and turned on the light to get a closer look. His snout is long  and pointy, his hair looks greasy and his tail looks scraggly with a kink . For a few minutes, he ignored me as he continued to eat without looking up.

I yelled, “Get away, get out of here.” He looked at me, slowly slunk under the lounge chair to hide and waited. I yell, “You’re ugly, you know that. Get out of here.” He slowly wobbled under another chair. I continued,  “You’re so ugly. Do you even know how ugly you are?” He hung his head as he slunk toward the end of the patio. I wonder if he understood what I said. Then I shut the door without bothering to see where he went. I guess he’ll finish the cat food after I turn the light out.

Continue reading MR. POSSUM IS BEAUTIFUL, YOU TOO

THE TUMMYACHE! (Past writing ** see note at end.)

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Lord, forgive my gluttony last night at supper.  I was so tired from helping my parents prepare their house for their out-of-town company. After I got home I just wanted to go to bed, but then I had company of my own coming! I had to prepare our supper and then clean up. I just wanted to lay my head on the kitchen table and go to sleep! My supper consisted of bought fried chicken, mashed potatoes with gravy, corn on the cob, and for dessert “hot apple pie”. Then because I  was so very tired and stressed out, I searched the kitchen for more food! I found a Snicker Bar,  peanut butter cookies, and a nice piece of Boston Crème pie.

Continue reading THE TUMMYACHE! (Past writing ** see note at end.)

THE GLUTTONY MONSTER! (Writing from the past:)

IMG_1881 Good Morning Lord! Will You give me another chance?

(My child, I am the God of second chances!)

Lord, I don’t even know where to start!

(Start with Me, My child!)

Okay Lord, what is  first? Continue reading THE GLUTTONY MONSTER! (Writing from the past:)

WALK BY FAITH, NOT SIGHT!

IMG_9445Lord, I want to stand on those scales really bad! I wonder if I have lost any weight this week?

(Wait My child, obey Me in this! Wait until the appointed time. Remember that your success is not determined by a number from a box you stand on. Your obedience and submission to Me determines your success.)

But Lord, what if I haven’t lost any weight?

(Then, what will you do, My child?) Continue reading WALK BY FAITH, NOT SIGHT!

COOKIES, OH MY!

[ Written from the past. Praise God, He has delivered me from  27 pounds since               May 23, 2013.]

A dish of homemade cookies.

Lord, did you see all those cookies I ate last night?

(Yes, I did.)

Lord, everyday I start eating correctly, then by bedtime I have eaten everything I can get my hands on! Sometimes I even get in the bed eating!

(I see.) Continue reading COOKIES, OH MY!

THE MESS! (Writings from last year)

20130926-194042.jpgLord, I have really made a mess of things, haven’t I? I am overdrawn at the bank, overweight, and I haven’t sought You or even listened. Now I ask for help, now that I am in a hole. Lord, how do You put up with me? Lord, I want You, but I seek pleasure in other things. Here I am, a mess, expecting You to put back the pieces! How dare me? Continue reading THE MESS! (Writings from last year)

DANCE OR DESPAIR!

20130925-194457.jpg[Written over a year ago:]

Lord, I am the lowest I have ever been. My belief level is so low. I am on the edge of just giving up on all my prayers.

(My child, I see and know. I am in charge. I told you that I would not let the enemy win. Why do you doubt what I say? Why do you look at the circumstances? What do you see instead of looking at Me? Continue reading DANCE OR DESPAIR!