Credit Card, Trap of Failure

Lord, that credit card is a trap of failure. Help me not use it today and to put You first in everything.

Seek HIs will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take. Proverbs 3:6

I have failed You again Lord, and I’ve gotten caught up in so many distractions especially the “resale” business. I let it enslave me.  Resale sites on my cell phone became first in my life above all else and all others. I’ve spent hours just looking and looking at pictures of things people were selling and I bought some unnecessary things too.  I also listed stuff on these resale sites I wanted to sell. Never made much money, just enough to spend at the grocery store.

Then I spent the money on resale that I planned to use as a deposit on a missionary trip.  Instead of using it for the trip,  I bought a dining room table and a serving buffet that caught my eye. A credit card was used to buy all this. It was a compulsive buy and for a while my house was full of furniture. My dining room looked like a warehouse with two dining room tables,  two serving buffets, and for a while 18 dining room chairs. Don’t even ask. Compulsive buying is worse than compulsive overeating. A credit card can rob you of many blessings. At least, that’s what I think.       

 

Now my missionary trip is cancelled. Hubby, who puts up with my bad spending habits asked, “How are you going to get the money for that trip? You can’t put it on a charge card and I don’t agree with you going anyway.”  So there you go, trip over. I can’t help but wonder, if I didn’t have this out standing debt would he had agreed for me to go?

Child, your victory is on the way.

 

Lord, how can I be a witness? Why am I not crying over this lost missionary trip?  I have been so wrong about so much and sidetracked with so many things. My attention hasn’t been on seeking Your will. Now I’ve messed up and lost this opportunity. I do want to help others, but I don’t have the funds, especially now that I’ve spent money I don’t have buying what I don’t need. There has been so much confusion here. I’m confused. How can I be so messed up?

This is a hard lesson. I’ve been causing myself stress due to my compulsive purchases and overwhelming debt What is Your purpose in all this? I have missed Your will again.

Child, you are learning to seek Me in all things. That is My will.

Lord, how do I pay for this credit card expense of new furniture I didn’t need? I have grandchildren to buy gifts for and now look at My hand. It’s empty.

Child, look at My hand. What do you see?

Lord, I see nail prints.

Child, I lost it all but I gained everything. Do you trust Me?

Yes Sir. (Hanging my head in shame.)

Then stop trying to figure out how to provide  for others and trust Me. Look to Me – for Me – not My hand, but look at Me. Seek My face for I am the supply for all your needs. Lord, I depend on You for You are my supplier, not those credit cards.

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I will instruct you  and teach you in the way you should go; I will guide you with My eye. Do not be like the horse or like the mule, which have no understanding, which must be harnessed with bit and bridle, else they will not come near you.              Psalm 32: 8-9 NKJV

For the world offers only a craving for physical pleasure, a craving for everything we see, and pride in our achievements and possessions. These are not from the Father, but are from the world. And this world is fading away, along with everything that people crave. But anyone who does what pleases God will live forever. I John 2: 15-17 NLT

The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly. John 10:10 NKJV

Don’t Give Up And Don’t Quit, For I Am With You (Part Two- His Answer)

 

IMG_9689Don’t give up My child, for I am with you. I see your discouragement, but I say to you, ‘Don’t give up and don’t quit. Go forth in the victory I have already prepared for you.”

Lord, thank you for my weight loss and teaching me how to eat in submission  Yes, I know I’ve failed You so many times, but You never gave up on me. Thank you Lord for Your mercy. You said don’t give up, but I’m overwhelmed. Now I have more issues I need Your help with, credit card issues.

Continue reading Don’t Give Up And Don’t Quit, For I Am With You (Part Two- His Answer)

“Don’t Give Up And Don’t Quit, For I Am With You” (Part 1- My Dilemma)

 

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Don’t give up, My child, for I am with you. I see your discouragement, but I say to you, ‘Don’t give up and don’t quit. Go forth in the victory I have already prepared for you.”

Lord, thank you for my weight loss and teaching me how to eat in submission  Yes, I know I’ve failed You so many times, but You never gave up on me. Thank you Lord for Your mercy. You said don’t give up, but I’m overwhelmed. Now I have more issues I need Your help with, credit card issues.

 

Continue reading “Don’t Give Up And Don’t Quit, For I Am With You” (Part 1- My Dilemma)

HE SAID NEVER GIVE UP

IMG_2614Lord, why do people give up?

My child, they get tired. They see life as a struggle or a fight with success unreachable. They expect defeat instead of looking for victory. They try with all their strength to meet a goal only to fall down again. After perceiving continued failures they quit trying. Life seems too hard and just not worth it. They lose hope.

Continue reading HE SAID NEVER GIVE UP

MY OVERINDULGENCE

IMG_5235Lord Jesus, I weighed the other night at a retail store. I should have known better. I’d already ate two meals of the day, drank four cups coffee, one bottle of water, and three huge glasses of tea. The scales said I’ve gained weight. What did I expect?

The point is I do know I’ve eaten too much. Even though I ‘ve followed the food plan You gave me,  (Eat only three meals a day with half portions, and no snacks) I must confess I ate too many halves of too many desserts.

Oh, how easily gluttony raises its ugly head. How quickly I run to it. Ooh, sweets, ooh, chocolate. Let’s see, I’ll have half of this and half of that, oh yes, I’ll have half of this, that, too. Oh yes, yum. I want it. Give it to me, now. IMG_5411

Lord, I looked at these desserts for pleasure and comfort. Didn’t even asked Your advice. I just went on automatic and turned on the green light. Go, go for it. You can have 1/2 of it all. I told myself, “You’re still doing right because you’re only eating half. You’re still obeying the rules. It’s ok. Oh, look at that, you haven’t had any of that. Go ahead, get some, just eat half. It’s okay to get it, if you just eat half. Oh, get you some girl.”

IMG_5249Lord, I knew I wasn’t losing because I felt full. Even when it was time for the next meal, I still felt full from the previous meal. So I thought, “Let’s exercise. Exercise is good. You’ll work this off.” So I rode the stationary bike 5 miles a day, 4/5 days. I walked two miles some days.

Wrong, it didn’t work that way. I still gained. Got caught with my hand in the cookie jar. So what do I do now? I don’t want to get caught up in counting calories, bondage to dieting, or even excessive exercising to work off my overindulgence.IMG_4029

Lord, I’ve failed again. I’m ashamed at my behavior at the feeding trough. I followed the rules You gave me, but I STILL OVERINDULGED.  I don’t think more rules are the answer. I ‘ve been so distracted by so many things. Instead of looking to You for guidance, my eyes were on the pantry and the desert bar.

Maybe I can fast my desserts. Yes, I’ve done that in the past and it helped, but I do so enjoy a little sweet at the end of my meal.

My child, just don’t eat so many. Two halves do make one whole. Four halves do make two wholes. That’s part of your issue, too many halves. Limit your desserts to just one, one half of one.

Yes Sir. (Hanging my head.)

My child, you have also eaten out Mexican food three times this week and Chinese buffet once. You know these areas are difficult for you, but they both offer salad and vegetables.  You do have options. In the past, it has taken your body a week to recover from one Mexican meal. Now choose a salad or a simple meal, and leave off most of the starchy foods. Even though another person is choosing the restaurant, you choose from the menu. Choose wisely and your body won’t react as much.

I do want you to enjoy your food, but I don’t want you to consider food as the source of your joy. Look to Me for your joy. Yes,  your eyes focused on your food pleasures, not on Me.

Feed on My Word and renew your mind. Feed your spirit and be strengthened. As your spirit grows stronger, the fleshly desires will decrease. If you are full of Me these strongholds and weights that so easily entraps you will leave. It is My Presence that gives you strength to resist temptation.

Now about that pity party you had last night over what that machine told you. Did it make sense for you to overeat at supper because you saw a weight gain? Yes, you still followed the plan I gave you. But you ate half of yours and then some of his half too. You told yourself it’s just half and the “I’ll eat now because I’ll do better tomorrow.” Has that plan ever worked for you before?

No Lord, it never has. It only increased my struggles to break free.

I see. . . My child, today is a new day. You will start over, this time with a new mindset. I am a God of second chances. I specialize in new beginnings, new life.

That’s what I want, a new life free of this bondage to overeating and excess weight. Lord, will this temptation ever go away?

My child, temptation is always there waiting for the opportune time to come forth, but as long as you stay full of My Presence you will have the strength and mindset to resist these temptations. I did not come to give you more rules to follow, I came to bring you freedom. I’ve come to set you free

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God is Spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth.”                   John 4:24 NKJV

Do you not know that you are the temple of God and that the Spirit of God dwells in you?  I Corinthians 3:16 NKJV

Just because something is technically legal doesn’t mean that it’s spiritually appropriate. If I went around doing whatever I thought I could get by with, I’d be a slave to my whims. You know the old saying, “First you eat to live, and then you live to eat”? Well, it may be true that the body is only a temporary thing, but that’s no excuse for stuffing your body with food, or indulging it with sex. Since the Master honors you with a body, honor him with your body! I Corinthians 6:12-13 (The Message)

Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded. James 4: 7-8 NKJV

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Chocolate

IMG_4220Lord, I told Hubby not to buy Valentines candy until after Valentines when it’s half- price. He bought a lot and now I’ve overindulged. I stayed within the confines of eating only a half serving and only at meal time. I did only eat half, but it was half of that, half of this, and half of another chocolate.

IMG_4218Lord, both You and I know that it was just too much. After all we have been through. I still ran to the chocolate for pleasure. Please forgive me and help me to resist this temptation.

I remind myself of the child placed in a circle for time out. Her Mom told her, “Stay in the circle.”  Later that child had all her body out of the circle except for one foot so she could still technically say she was in the circle.

I followed Your instructions of half servings and only at mealtime, but it was still too much. I had four or five half chocolates. Too many half servings makes too much.

IMG_2415My child, sin is crouching at your door waiting to steal your victory. You choose whether to embrace it or refuse it. Pleasure from self-indulgence is short. Pleasure spent with Me is eternity. Which do you choose?

I want to choose You, but this chocolate is so enticing.

You’ll find that My will brings true pleasure. Come to Me for I will direct your path. Victory and many blessings will come forth. I’m here for you. Never doubt my love, even as you look at your failures. Look to Me for I am your joy, your strength, and your deliverer. Only through Me is true joy found. Only I can set you free.

I have not said you’d never face temptation for it is the temptation that causes you to seek Me. Even your failures cause you to seek Me. I’m here for you. Only I can guarantee your victory for its sealed with My blood.

I realize this is a trigger food for me. Even though I can have it according to the plan You gave me, it’s causing stress between us because my heart longs for it. Lord, I want my heart to long for You, not chocolate.

My child,  fasting from something is not so for pride in your “holy sacrifice”.  No, it’s to grant you strength over temptation. Yes, I do want to be the love and wish of your heart more than the desire for chocolate.

Your salvation and freedom is not found in works, so your sacrifice does not bring salvation. Self denial does help you gain strength, wisdom, and power over your temptation. I want My children  strong and victorious, not defeated. I’ve come to bring you victory, even victory over chocolate.

Your enemy is not the chocolate. Your enemy is the stronghold of chocolate. I’ve come to set you free.

Oh Lord, circumcise my heart. Cut away all that is not pleasing to You. Grant me to an obedient heart. Open the eyes of my heart.

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— And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Galatians 5:24

Stand fast therefore in the liberty by which Christ has made us free, and do not be entangled again with a yoke of bondage. Galatians 5:1

And the Lord will circumcise your heart and the heart of your descendants, to love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul, that you may live. Deuteronomy 30:8

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Lord, thank you for the coffee cup hubby brought for me. It was half price too. You know how I love half-price.

IMG_4314Lord, if I could I’d give You hugs and kisses.

Love others, My child, love others.

GIFT OF LOVE

 

IMG_3034 Lord, I disappointed You, didn’t I? I knew exactly when I messed up. It was those last two pieces of candy. My feelings were hurt,  I was upset, and I thought they would make me feel better.  As I looked at the candy I felt the draw of Your love saying, “Come to Me. Bring Me your wounded heart. You won’t find love in this candy. Let My love sooth your hurt.”

I felt encouraged and had hope again.  “I don’t need those last two candies. But . . . why not? Go ahead, eat them.” So I did. Continue reading GIFT OF LOVE

SUCH A PRETTY FACE, WHAT A SHAME

IMG_2624(Editor’s note: This is a  story I wrote for a writing contest. In the contest I could only use 250 words, but here I can write as I feel led by God. I pray it ministers to you, it did to me.

I’m not the girl in the story, but the emotions were mine.  My highest weight was 241 pounds, not 300. The words God spoke to her were the same words He spoke to me when I cried out in desperation.

This story begins in fiction and ends with truth. As they say in the movies, “This is a fiction story based on some facts of truth.”) Continue reading SUCH A PRETTY FACE, WHAT A SHAME