Feeding the Tiger, Fighting the Lions

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Lord, long before the 92 pounds left , I was hopelessly tied up by the gluttony monster and he kept me trapped. He wasn’t about to let me go. I had given up with no hope of ever breaking free. Just like the elephant tied with a small  rope to a stake in the ground. The gluttony monster kept me locked in the cage of defeat. It would have been easy to break away, but due to all my previous attempts that ended in failure I was hopeless. Continue reading Feeding the Tiger, Fighting the Lions

How I Ate This Weekend. Dieters Beware. Triple XXX Rating.

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will guide you with My eye. Psalm 32:8 NKJV

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Last week a friend asked how I ate. I tried to answer her questions. She wanted more information. I thought a picture is worth 1,000 words, so I’ll just take pictures of my food.

Disclaimer: I apologize to all who eat clean, carb free, or follow diet rules. These food pictures don’t fit any of those plans. This is how God instructed me to eat. I’ve lost 87 pounds,  gone from a size 18/20 pants to size 10 pants and from size X-L /14-18 tops to size S/6-10 tops. Wow!

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Taken May 2013, weighing 241.

I’ve failed every diet I tried with 41 years of failure. My first paid weight loss group was in 1974. We ate tuna fish 5x a week. Yuck. It’s amazing what we do to lose weight. I never tried surgery, only because I was afraid.

In May 2013, I weighed 241 pounds. In desperation, embarrassment, and total defeat I cried out to God. I’d tried everything only to end up in failure. I was broken in defeat with no hope, no other options and turned to God begging for help. Considering all the people in the world with severe needs, it was pathetic.

IMG_6156God didn’t care how pathetic I was, He reached out to help me. I was a food drunk eating almost 24/7.

God whispered to my heart, “Eat three meals a day with no snacks. Eat anything you want including desserts, but no snacks. Do this for 40 days.”

Seemed simple enough. I thought maybe I can do this. It took  60 days to achieve 40 days of three meals with no snacks. Then I asked Him, “What now?”

Again He spoke to my heart, “Continue eating your three meals with no snacks. Now cut your food in half.”

You won’t believe how I eat now, yet continue losing weight. I feel like a walking, talking miracle. So here goes, food pictures:

Friday: Breakfast- I/2 apple with  peanut butter & a caramel flavored rice cake. (I like the flavor and crunchiness.)

Lunch- Forgot what I ate, don’t keep a food journal. Mostly I just eat half of whatever, so I don’t need to write it down.  It may have been soup & 1/2 sandwich.

Supper- We went out with friends to a new Italian restaurant. I ordered house salad with Thousand Island dressing, Penne Basilica with extra mushrooms, and Tiramisu for dessert. (Shared dessert with husband.)

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New Italian restaurant. ***** five stars- great food. Highly recommended. Large portions, enough to take home for later.
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Our friends ordered an appetizer of fried onion rings. I ate one with the mariner sauce.
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The side salad. I ate the large vegetables and left half the lettuce.
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Penne Basilica- chicken, broccoli, pesto cream sauce with pasta. I ordered extra mushrooms. My plate was the largest serving on the table. Wow!
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Tiramisu- Hubby and I both ate half. Not my favorite.
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I took home half the entrée with a piece of bread. I ate a half piece of bread at my meal.

Now for Saturday’s food :

Breakfast: One large serving cheese grits from a gas station that served breakfast. I left about three large bites and threw it away. Hubby and I were out and about.

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Lunch served on a saucer, half the leftover pasta. The other half was still in the go box. I added three pieces of fried squash. (Southern favorite. The only way Hubby will eat squash.)
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A favorite dessert, ice cream with pear pieces and juice. I usually eat half a coffee cup of ice cream (about 3 large spoonful’s.)

Lunch: Leftover pasta, fried squash, and dessert, ice cream with canned pear pieces.

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Saturday supper: I ate one whole can of soup 200 calories. Don’t count calories, but thought it was okay to eat all the soup due to low calories.
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My dessert with Saturday supper. One, yes I said one Hersey’s kiss. Let it melt in your mouth, lot of chocolate pleasure for only 22 calories

 Now for Sunday’s meals:

Skipped breakfast. Hubby insists on being at church at 8 a.m. for his music practice before church. Hoping someone brings a treat to our Sunday School class.

No treats in Sunday school. After church we ate lunch at a favorite neighborhood restaurant, “Neighbors”. Large servings, plenty to bring home for later.  Great food, whatever you order. Five stars. ****

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Almost forgot to take a picture. Ordered three-piece chicken dinner with sides of turnip greens, mac n cheese, and corn bread. The plate came with four pieces and a roll. I asked for cornbread. You can’t eat turnips without cornbread.
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I ate half the turnips, half the mac n cheese, two small pieces chicken, and one half of the corn muffins. There were four pieces of chicken, so I thought I could eat two of the smaller pieces. That’s half, right?

Sunday night after church there was a reception to honor our pastors. Since I didn’t eat breakfast, I could now eat cake. Yea, my favorite. This would be my second meal today.

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I love, love cake icing. I know, pure sugar and lard.
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Since I eat half the cake, I eat my favorite part, the icing. Throw away the cake part.

When we got home from church it was soup and sandwich again. I overstocked canned soup so we’re trying to eat it.

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For late supper I ate a whole can of soup. In hindsight, I think I should have eaten only half because I felt too full afterwards. Lesson learned, don’t eat past full. Hubby has two slices of bread and two slices cheese, grilled in butter. Mine is one slice bread, one slice cheese, grilled in butter. That’s a half serving, right.
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Another half coffee cup of ice cream with a half cookie for dessert. I like ice cream. Can ice cream count as a milk serving?

Then for dessert, more ice cream. I always eat my ice cream in a coffee cup for portion control.

I haven’t weighed since mid-Sept. I’m seeking God’s will for my goal weight.           Now I can wear size 10 dress pants. Wow! I don’t ever remember wearing that size in my life. I plan to weigh on November 1. I’ll let ya’ll know how it turned out. Then I guess I’ll discover what maintenance is.

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87 pounds forever gone!

So far, 87 pounds of excess weight gone forever. Since I’m not on a diet, I have nothing to go off of. I am eating normal just less. I can live with that. I feel like a walking, talking miracle. God has set me free from a lifetime of obesity, obsessive dieting, (another form of bondage, and a failure complex. I’m walking in the gift of His victory for me. It’s not through my works, but through His grace. He has healed me and set me free.

The Feeding Trough & Turning Green

Lord, thank You for helping me at the Feeding Trough.

I chose to eat there instead of the Chinese Buffet. At the buffet you can’t bring food home, but at Lambert’s you can. I’ve eaten so many half-meals at restaurants that I feel cheated if I can’t bring food home. It feels like you’re getting two meals for one price, twice the enjoyment.

Hubby and I took the day off and went to the Shrimp Festival at Gulf Shores, Alabama. Because of a late start we decided to eat lunch first.

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First the fried okra. I ate half.
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Then the “throwed roll”. Really big.
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I ate my half of roll with honey. Yum.

After much discussion, we decided to eat at Lambert’s, “Home of the Throwed Rolls.” We call this place, The Feeding Trough for obvious reasons. At this restaurant customers are encouraged to eat. Servers walk between the tables offering free pass-arounds, fried okra, smothered potatoes, black eyed peas, macaroni with tomatoes, apple butter, and the best of all, hot fresh rolls. Just one meal in this place is a binge in itself.

Before walking in, I started praying. Lord, I need Your help. What do I eat? Help me not overeat. It would so easy to eat myself sick here. Lord, I need You right now. Help me.

Then this idea came. Take pictures of what you eat. Post on the blog. This will keep you accountable. Since several friends have asked about what do I eat, it seemed like a good idea. Now I can show them how I eat. Thank you Lord.

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Fried chicken gizzards with sides. My meal.
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This is what I took home. Ate off of this four more times. I think we got our money’s worth with this meal.
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Hubby’s leftovers.

I ordered  fried chicken gizzards, a southern delicately. The sides were mushroom gravy, carrots, and sweet potato and one of the free pass- arounds,  smothered potatoes with onions. I quickly got full and didn’t eat the sweet potato or carrots There’s no way to eat half of all this. So I got a go-box to carry home. Hubby carried part of his meal home too.

After lunch, on to the Shrimp Festival to look at all the art and crafts.     

There was live music too!

Live music

This is my favorite of all the artwork. Finally someone painted a plump woman in a very complimentary way. I thought it was beautiful.

Lord, I’m so ashamed. For the first time I gloated over another woman gaining weight. Please forgive me.

There she was in front of the stage clad only in her bikini, dancing and flaunting her semi-nude self in front of the crowd. I looked at hubby, and yes he was watching her intently. I turned green with jealously and filled with anger.

Hubby asked, “Isn’t she the same lady that danced in front of everyone last year?” I peered at her. “Yes, she’s the same one.” Last year he told me , “Oh she’s just having fun.” Now here he is again watching this exhibitionist flaunt her semi-nude self.  I remembered being irritated about it last year too. I turned another shade of green and gritted my teeth.  Self, don’t hit him now.

Then he said those words. “I believe she’s gained weight since last year.” I peered at her again, “Yes, I think she has.” That wonderful man spoke again, “You’re looking good, honey.” I smiled. Love that man.

Lord, forgive me. First for my jealously, then for my gloating over her weight gain. How can I? I can’t believe after all my struggles with excess weight that I’m glad someone else gained weight?  I’m so mean. Yep, guess I’m just a mean girl. God forgive me.

This is the first time I’ve been glad someone else gained weight. As I watched her dance, parts of her body bounced that shouldn’t have. If I were dancing by her there would be more parts of my body bouncing than hers. I knew this.

But she wasn’t bothered or ashamed of her bouncing parts at all. Hmmm? Why am I embarrassed by mine?

 This is a bikini I can wear. Not.

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But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.                    

And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

  If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.  Galatians 5:22-26 NKJV 

              

IT'S A GOD THING – Part two. (How I lost 72 pounds.)

 

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Christmas 2014- Size 8 dress coat Amazing! Body by God
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Fall 2014 My first “Size 12” jeans since 1974. Amazing- Body by God
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Lunch with Mom- May 2013 Wearing the pink blouse I grew to hate. It still fit at 241 pounds.

Several have asked me, “How have you lost weight? What are you doing?”

This is my story:

Weighing 241 pounds I cried out in desperation to God.         Continue reading IT'S A GOD THING – Part two. (How I lost 72 pounds.)

GARBAGE IN, GARBAGE OUT!

IMG_1206 Lord, last night I had a choice; go out to eat or stay home, order pizza, and watch a movie. I was so tired, so I ordered the pizza and settled down to watch the movie.  I ended up eating  too much and the movie was full of profanity and disappointing. If I had gone out to eat, at least we would have had good conversation with a good meal. Lord, I followed Your instructions about eating only a half of my meal. I ate only one slice of pizza, but I lost it over the apple desert. I fixed a large serving with ice cream on top, but as I ate this I began to feel guilty.  I left about a third of it because I was  so overwhelmed with guilt. It was such a struggle to let it go. Now I realize what a hold deserts have on me. I do love them so! Lord, help me to let go! Lord, help me to love You more than deserts. Do You want me to start over, back to Day one? Do You want me to give up my deserts as well since it was such a struggle last night?

Continue reading GARBAGE IN, GARBAGE OUT!

NO LONGER BROKEN, VICTORIOUS INSTEAD! (Past writings)

 

 

IMG_2007Lord, I confess to You that I love ice cream! I love how it tastes! I love how it feels in my mouth! I also confess to You that I ate two pork chops last night at supper, then I ate chocolate cup cakes and cookies for desert. Lord, I ate all that due to stress and frustration! I am so frustrated, depressed, and disappointed! I feel entrapped in a job that is no longer satisfying.  I am full of doubt, especially self-doubt. If the sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, and a broken contrite heart, then I guess I qualify for I certainly feel broken! I feel broken in my spirit for sure and I have no willpower! I am just a broken vessel that cannot hold water!

Continue reading NO LONGER BROKEN, VICTORIOUS INSTEAD! (Past writings)

I CALL YOU, "VICTORY", MY CHILD!

IMG_1790     Lord, last night I ate everything, everything I could find! You know this, You saw it all!  I hate my failures! It seems like they are always there staring at me! “Not good enough, don’t measure up, no self-control! Failure, failure!” I hear all the taunts of self-accusation! Lord, I am just a “major failure” defeated by a wimpy sin! Where do I go from here? Is there any hope for me?  Will I ever get victory?  Oh Lord, why do You reach out to me in love and hope at all? I just know I am a disappointment to You! Continue reading I CALL YOU, "VICTORY", MY CHILD!

THE GLUTTONY MONSTER! (Writing from the past:)

IMG_1881 Good Morning Lord! Will You give me another chance?

(My child, I am the God of second chances!)

Lord, I don’t even know where to start!

(Start with Me, My child!)

Okay Lord, what is  first? Continue reading THE GLUTTONY MONSTER! (Writing from the past:)

OBEY THE RED LIGHTS! (WRITING FROM THE PAST)

IMG_2312Lately, the Lord convicted of getting two extra spoonful’s of this or that. I knew in my heart that if I chose to continue eating, it would greatly disappoint My Lord! He has done so much for me that I do not want to disappoint Him! The conviction was so strong to STOP and walk away! Then the Lord led me to pull out some of my “old writings” and I found this from the past.  You see, He has talked to me about this before! Yes, He has many times before. Continue reading OBEY THE RED LIGHTS! (WRITING FROM THE PAST)

DO NOT BE AFRAID, FOR I AM WITH YOU!

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Good morning Lord! It’s Monday, my weigh-in day, but now I don’t know exactly when to weigh in? I woke up so early this morning, I don’t know what to do? It is now around 3:30 a.m. and I always weigh right after I get up!  I can’t go back to bed now because I am completely awake! Maybe this early morning would just be a good opportunity to spend more quality time with You? But if I drink my coffee now and then wait to weigh myself  later in the day, it will show a weight gain. Oh Lord, what do I do now? When do I weigh?

(Don’t drink your coffee now, just wait to weigh yourself at 4:00a.m. and then you can drink your coffee.) Continue reading DO NOT BE AFRAID, FOR I AM WITH YOU!