Sometimes life’s just too funny. So go ahead, laugh. You know God has a sense of humor. Sometimes I think I hear Him laughing, not at me, but with me. Since He has plans for our lives and works out all things for our good, maybe He knew I needed to laugh more. Maybe you do too. So go ahead, laugh.
“Dad, you cut off my head.”
“Your head is not the problem. I wanted you to see what your body looks like. Don’t lose any more weight. You’re too skinny.”
(Never in my life did I expect to hear those words.) “But Dad, my bottom is too big. It wouldn’t hurt to lose a few more pounds.”
“No it’s not. You’re supposed to have a big bottom. That’s how you tell a woman from a man from the back. Women have big bottoms and men don’t. That’s how you know the difference.”
He’s 81, I’m 63 and he’s explaining the difference between men and woman to me over lunch. Now I can tell the difference. Yep, you guessed it. I’ll just look at their bottoms.
This past weekend, granddaughters had a combination birthday party. Two different birthday cakes. Birthday cake is my most favorite food of all.
I love birthday cake so much I want it served at my funeral. I can imagine everyone eating cake saying, “She would really like this.” Hubby has been instructed to throw some cake in the casket with me. Yep, it’s true. I told him. But I also want a Bible, my cell phone, and a fork. You never know what you might need.
(On the way to the party, I prayed, “Lord, help me resist these birthday cakes, two of them. I can just taste the icing. You know how I love real birthday cake. Please help me.)
For entertainment, they had a wild animal exhibit. We saw and listened about the screech owl, red-tailed hawk, some snakes, rats, and more. Most of these animals were wounded in some way and could not survive in the wild. So they go to parties to earn their keep and children learn valuable lessons. During this exhibit the children were allowed to let the rats go on their shoulders. It was a cold day and I gave my jacket to a visiting granddaughter.
Yep, you guessed it. That rat peed on my jacket. Ahhhh! I jumped up and screamed. All the children roared with laughter. This moment will forever be in my granddaughters memories. I can hear it now, “Do you remember the birthday party when the rat peed on Mee-maw’s jacket?”
A victory- I fixed Hubby a piece of cake and took one bite of his. That’s all I had. Praise God for victory in spite of rat pee.
This is one of my granddaughters. When you’re five years old, it’s your birthday party, and you’re full of self-confidence, you can be the fashion statement for the party.
Yep, you guessed it. Flower prints are in high fashion this Spring season. Mix and match as you please. Everyone will love you just because you’re so cute.
(Lord, You know I used to eat a lot of French fries. Thank you Jesus, I’m no longer in bondage to those fries. I’m free!)
I keep chocolate kisses at my house just in case of a chocolate emergency. If you’re craving chocolate, one is enough. Hold it in your mouth until it melts. That takes a while and it’s a lot of chocolate taste for only 22 calories.
(Thank you Lord that I no longer am compelled to eat them like I used to. I don’t even want one now. Haven’t had one in weeks, maybe since Feburary? You’ve delivered me from chocolate bondage. I’m free!)
Two of my granddaughters discovered a new use for these chocolate kisses. Yep, you guessed it- edible facial jewelry. It’s the new rage.
Since losing 93 pounds I have a bone that pokes out my back. At my yearly doctor visit to monitor low thyroid (I’ve been on Synthroid since 1997 and been cold that long too.) I asked her to feel my spine. She felt it, “Your spine feels normal, but wait. What? You have a spot here. I’ve got to look at it closer. Bend over, let me see. What is this?”
I’m panicking, imaging the c- word. Holding my breath in fear.
She exclaims, “It’s a splinter. How did you get a splinter in the middle of your back? What made these scratches?”
Embarrassed, I answered, “I scratched my back before I left the house. My back scratcher is wooden.”
“Don’t use it anymore.”
“I have to. Hubby’s not a good back scratcher. He refuses to let his nails grow out. The next man I marry is going to scratch my back first. If he’s a sorry back scratcher, forget it. I must have a back scratcher.”
“Get a plastic one,” she replied as she pulled out the splinter. Ouch.
A merry heart does good, like medicine, but a broken spirit dries the bones. Proverbs 17:22
Then our mouth was filled with laughter, And our tongue with singing. Then they said among the nations, “The Lord has done great things for them.” Psalm 126: 2