Self-Condemnation, What the Lord Hates in Me. – After Reading the “Holy 30 Devotional”-Day 6

Child, you aren’t perfect. You know that. I know that. But the one thing you do that breaks My heart and grieves My Holy Spirit is your self-condemnation. 

(After I read Day 6 from the Holy 30 Devotional,** published by my church, the Lord spoke these words to my heart. As you read them, allow the Lord to speak to your heart likewise and realize how great His love is for you. In fact, He loves you with all His heart, yes you, the reader. To begin with, know that you don’t have to earn His love, for He freely gives it to all and none of us deserve it. Therefore allow the Lord to love on you as you read these words. Afterwards feel free to let me know how He spoke to you.)

Lord, what is it about me that You hate?

Child, you aren’t perfect. You know that and I know that. But the one thing you do that breaks My heart and grieves My Holy Spirit is your constant self-condemnation. 

Yes, you have areas of flaws to work on, all humans do in one form or another. No one has achieved perfection through their works of self-improvement. Only My Blood can cleanse one to perfection. 

Yet the one major flaw you have, My child, that breaks My heart in your continuous self-condemnation. You judge yourself as inferior because you are unable to maintain perfection in your behavior or attitudes of the heart. 

You strive to love others but yet all you can see in yourself are flaws and failures. Know ye not that I love you just as you are even with your faults and failures?

How can you truly love others as I wish, “Love others as you love yourself” if you don’t love yourself? If all you look at is your own failures, how can you see beauty in others? When your eyes only focus on failures, you are unable to see My love. Know I love you. I died for you, yes for you. 

So do you think if I was willing to die for you, just you, do you think you are worthy  of My love? 

No Lord, we both know I’m not worthy.

My child, I love you, so I want you to love you. Look at yourself through My eyes. I gave all I had just for you. I suffered intensely. You are unable to comprehend the level of My suffering because of My love for you. Yes, you.

Now if I freely was willing to suffer and give My life for you, do you think I saw potential for worthiness in My eyes? Yes, I saw you inside and out. I knew in advance all your failures. Yet I freely gave Myself as a sacrifice for you. Yes, for you I did this. 

When I look at you I see perfection, but not because of anything you did. No, My love cannot be earned. It can only be accepted as I freely give it to you. Your perfection can only be because of My Blood. It is the covering of My Blood that cleanses you and makes you worthy, not your works or your striving for perfection. 

Now, My child, let go of your measuring stick. You know,that standard stick, the one you measure both yourself and others with. You know, the one you constantly beat yourself over the head with. Give it to Me, for I am the Standard. My love is the standard. 

Give Me the measuring stick. Your success is measured by My love, not your works of striving for perfection. Only I am perfect. There is no way you can achieve perfection. It is only My Blood covering that makes you perfect. 

What I want for you is to bask in My love. Enjoy My Presence. Sing. Smile. Open your eyes to see the good both in yourself and others. I am success. I am victory. It is only through Me that you can have these in your life. 

Now come here. Come to ME. Allow Me to love you just as you are, flaws, failures, and all. Rejoice in My love for you, not that you’re great, but that I AM great. Know that you are loved by the Almighty King for it is My love that makes you good enough and not you of yourself. No, it is not you, but it is My Spirit within you. 

Henceforth allow Me to have My way with you and fill you with My love. I am the perfect love and there is no other, only I. Now bask in My love for you. Know I have plans for you, plans for a hope and a future. Relax from your self striving for perfection for you will never achieve it. Allow Me to have control. Trust Me. Give yourself to Me. Then watch and see what I will do. 

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For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast. Ephesians 2:8-9 
In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 1 John 4:10
 We love Him because He first loved us. 1 John 4:19
For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. John 3:16

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**The short devotional, “Holy 30” (See picture of Day 6.)) is based on I Peter 1:16. It was published by First Baptist of Tillman’s Corner.  I didn’t write any of this devotional, but I do have permission to share it with you.

If you would like some additional information about our church check out this website:    http://www.fbtc.org/ . You can also listen to some sermons from our pastors. Enjoy them, I do.

Also if you click on the underlined scripture tab, you will be connected to Bible Gateway. This is a great source for locating Bible scriptures through the computer.

#Holy30

Holy 30-Devotional, Day 4

This is a continuation (Day 4*) of a 30 day devotional written and published by First Baptist of Tillman’s Corner. It’s based on I Peter 1:16.

I didn’t write any of this devotional, but I have permission from my church to share it with you. If you would like some additional information about our church check out this website:    http://www.fbtc.org/ .

Following each page of the devotional, I’ll share some of my personal notes. Hopefully together, you and I can help one another.

DAY 4:

Lord, I realize this self-indulgence needs to come off. Oh, and self-gratification too. Are they twins? What about pride? The loudest is murmuring. Today, we call that complaining. Oh Lord, help me. That’s what kept the Israelites in the dessert for 40 years. Lord, I can’t remove these extra heavy coverings from myself. Could You help me?

Yesterday I had extra layers of patience. Thank you. They were evident when we went to pay the phone bill. I stood in line and there was a table nearby with stools around it. So while I waited my turn, one grandchild sat on a stool and twirled herself around and around as fast as she could. At first the other grandchild played on her phone, then she began to protest. “Meemaw, make her stop. she’s going to hit somebody with her feet.”

Meanwhile I’m still waiting in line. The lady ahead of me is having difficulty with the payment machine. the first grandchild continues twirling and twirling with a grin of joy and delight. The older grandchild continues her protest, “She’s making the table shake. Make her stop.”The lady ahead had to ask for assistance with the machine. This process is going to take longer.

I smiled at the children, “Honey, make sure you keep your feet down. Don’t hit anybody.” She puts her feet down. The lady ahead finishes and I get my turn, pay the bill, and we leave.

Thank goodness. In the old days, instead of smiling, I would have fussed loudly at both children. Lord, thank you for that blessing of extra patience when I needed it. My reward was a hug later from the twirling grandchild. Thank you for the gift of that hug.

Lord, concerning clothes, I sure would like to get back in those size 10 pants. Do You think it’s possible?

My child, all things are possible if you seek, listen, and follow My guidance.

*My apologies for being late in posting this. Time is an issue with visiting grandchildren (5) and now out of town company. But having family is wonderful. Someone did suggest that I needed to retire from retirement.

God’s Love to you all, Debbie

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Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.          Psalm 51:10

Jesus said to him, “If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.” Mark 9:23

Holy 30 Challenge-Devotional+

Here for your enjoyment and to help you with your New Year goals of improving physically and growing spiritually is a copy of the “Holy 30 Challenge”.

This short devotional, 30 days) is based on I Peter 1:16. It was written by unnamed church members and published by First Baptist of Tillman’s Corner  At our church, we are beginning the New Year focused on improving our physical bodies and also growing spiritually in our relationship with Jesus Christ.

I didn’t write any of this devotional, but I do have permission to share it with you. Hope you enjoy using it as a tool for self examination in your quest to improve both physically and spiritually.

It has been said that whatever you focus on at the beginning of the year will set the pattern for the rest of the year. Therefore, let’s focus on beginning our year in the Presence of God. After all, He is your best friend. I promise.

If you would like some additional information about our church check out this website:    http://www.fbtc.org/ . You can also listen to some sermons from our pastors if you choose. I enjoy listening to them while at church and I think they’re great. No, I don’t think I’m partial. Well, maybe a little.

This introduction page is for church members, but I thought you might enjoy. I’ll try to post each day in succession for you beginning with these. Sorry about the late start, but it just occurred to me “Why not post these? Others could benefit.”

 

 

 

My Notes from Day 1:

Lord, what do I need to change to become more like You? Help me to turn away from the love of this pleasure food and other pleasures as well. Let me give all of my heart to You.

 Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not of the Father but is of the world.  1 John 2:15-16 NKJV

Lord, it’s so cold outside. (We are experiencing a hard freeze now. This is very unusual for lower Alabama.)

Child, walk with Me, and you will find warmth in your heart.

I thought to myself, “Okay, you can walk inside the house or out in the back yard with the dogs.” I walked out in the back yard for 30 minutes and the dogs loved it. I hated it. Too cold for me, guess I’ll try walking inside next time.

 

My Notes from Day 3:

Lord, help me remember to drink water and spend time in Your Presence to refresh my soul. So far, I’ve drunk half of my recommended water for the day.

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Hope you have a great and Happy New Year! Be Blessed!                                               Debbie

Sing For Your Freedom And Your Victory

Lord, I’ve gained some weight back. How did this happen?

Child, if you listen to Me, then it will be gone.

But Lord, what do I do today?

For now, eat no more until your stomach growls.

But Lord, what if I get invited out to lunch?

Child . . . Trust Me. Now do you want a life of misery or peace?

Lord, I want peace.

Then let go. Let go of your resentment.

Lord, it’s hard to let go. Would You take it from me?

Child, you must remember I can’t take it from you unless you give it to Me.

Here Lord, I give my resentment to You. I’m so tired of “life.” Nothing has turned out like I thought it would. First of all, my dreams of monetary success didn’t happen. Then I keep returning to my source of failure. I feel as tough I’m just going through the motions of life, putting one foot in front of the other, trudging along in boredom and monotony.

Child, if only you’d allow Me to fill you with Myself, My Spirit, then you would find your life exciting.

Okay Lord, how? Tell me, how do I let You fill me?

First My child, I want you to sing to Me.

What? . . . Okay Lord, what do You want me to sing?

How about “Amazing Grace” for now.

 

 

(After singing “Amazing Grace”) Okay, Lord, I’ve sung it. Now what?

Sing it again.

What? Okay. (Sung it again.) Okay Lord, now I sung it. What’s next?

Now sing it again.

(Sung it again.) Lord, now I’ve sung it three times. So what now?

Child, it’s not about you.

What?

It’s not about you.

Well Lord, tell me . . . what is it about?

My grace.

What do You mean?

It’s about My grace. Look up the word grace. Also, look up regeneration and while you’re at it, look up sanctification too.

To begin with My Child, I give you My grace. It is My grace that heals, delivers, and sets free those who are captive in bondage. For it’s My grace that saves you, even from yourself.

Your assignment today is to sing throughout this day, everywhere you go and everything you do. Your first step toward losing this extra weight is singing.

What? This makes no sense.

Trust Me for I know what I’m doing. We’ll talk again tomorrow, but today I want you to sing.

Okay Lord, but what do I sing now?

I like “Jesus Loves Me, This I Know.” Sing that. Through these words you will be released from your personal prison.

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“Sing and rejoice, O daughter of Zion! For behold, I am coming and I will dwell in your midst,” says the Lord. Zechariah 2:10

Acts 16

25 But at midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the prisoners were listening to them. 26 Suddenly there was a great earthquake, so that the foundations of the prison were shaken; and immediately all the doors were opened and everyone’s chains were loosed. 27 And the keeper of the prison, awaking from sleep and seeing the prison doors open, supposing the prisoners had fled, drew his sword and was about to kill himself. 28 But Paul called with a loud voice, saying, “Do yourself no harm, for we are all here.”

29 Then he called for a light, ran in, and fell down trembling before Paul and Silas. 30 And he brought them out and said, “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?”

31 So they said, “Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and you will be saved, you and your household.” 32 Then they spoke the word of the Lord to him and to all who were in his house. 33 And he took them the same hour of the night and washed their stripes. And immediately he and all his family were baptized. 34 Now when he had brought them into his house, he set food before them; and he rejoiced, having believed in God with all his household.

Edge of Victory

Lord, my temptations have not brought me the joy of victory. No, instead they’ve brought failure and defeat. I’ve failed all the tests and have become completely entangled again in bingeing and eating until I’m sick, bloated, and gaining weight. Now I’m standing here before You in guilt and shame at the edge of failure.

No . . . My Child, you’re not standing at the edge of failure. You’re now standing at the edge of victory. Call on My Name – Jesus- for I am your victory.

Lord, I thought I was at victory before, but here I am now back at binge land. At this moment I’m the heaviest I’ve been since 2014. My face has been in the feeding trough, the slop bucket. In the book, “Jesus Calling” by Sarah Young,  (pg. 321) You stated that You weren’t repelled by our weaknesses. No, instead You said Your power was attracted to our weakness. How can You be attracted by my gluttony?

Yes My child, I am drawn to your weakness for I long to help those I love. I always want to help you succeed just as you always want to help those you love. For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4:15-16 NKJV

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My Child, I’ve come to offer you mercy, grace, and help you in your need of deliverance. Now I want to see you free of all this that has you entangled in bondage.

Lord, I feel nothing.

My child, you don’t have to feel Me to know I am with you.

Lord, I’m miserable now.

My child, I know this for I designed it that way. At the time you’re in sin, it seems enjoyable, but eventually sin brings forth great misery.  Without the misery within sin, you wouldn’t cry out to Me.

Lord, I’m at another bottom, a sinkhole of misery. I feel as though I’m sinking in a food vat, a greasy food vat. Lord, I want what we once had before. I want to return to my joy within Your Presence. Can I come back to You?

Child, come here.

Lord, I don’t know what to do now.

Come here, I will lead you.

Lord, I want more of You.

Then My child, let go. Let go of what is in your hand because you can’t receive unless you let go.

Have mercy upon me, O God,
According to Your lovingkindness;
According to the multitude of Your tender mercies,
Blot out my transgressions.
Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,
And cleanse me from my sin. Psalm 51:1-2

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Lord, would You cleanse me, wash me, and deliver me again from my own sin of  destruction. Overall I feel doomed to keep repeating this sin of gluttony.

My child, in fact you aren’t doomed for I’ve already set you free.  As a matter of fact it was My Blood that paid the price required for your freedom.

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He has delivered us from the power of darkness and conveyed us into the kingdom of the Son of His love, in whom we have redemption through His blood the forgiveness of sins. Colossians 1:13-14

* Note: The Lord is helping me. Yes I made a lot of wrong choices, but praising God for His love, mercy and forgiveness. I’ve lost 4 pounds since writing this post. I don’t understand how He could be so patient with me.

I remember back in 2014, a potential publisher told me, “If we publish your book, you can never gain your weight back. It would be an embarrassment to our company.”

Someone once told me that angels are watching us and cheering us on. It’s occurred to me that I must follow God’s will especially with my eating. After all, when I overeat am I embarrassing God in front of His angels?

I’m so grateful He is giving me another chance to eat with Him again. Thank you Lord for Your love and mercy.

He’s patient with you too. He is full of love and mercy for you too, no matter what your past choices were. Go to Him and tell Him all about your issues. I promise He’ll listen. If He listens to me, He will listen to you. He loves you ever so greatly.

 

Victorious – All Mine Are Victorious, Including You.

“Victorious, all of Mine are victorious, including you.”

Lord, I overate last night. Why? Why am I doing this? I don’t want this behavior, I want to walk in total victory to show others how You give victory. Today I feel like a hypocrite. I’m so embarrassed before You.

Child, not only can you not control others, but you can’t control yourself either. So why do you keep trying? Just let go and trust Me. When was the last time you waited before eating to seek My will?

Uh. . . .

If you wait, listen for My voice to guide  you, and walk in My directions for your day, then you will have victory. Quit holding on to what is not good for you, whether it’s unnecessary food, worry, doubt, or fear.  Let go of all that is in your hand. Allow Me to take this weight of burdens heavy on your back.  Give it all to Me. Do you remember your goals for this year, trust, listen, wait, let go, and pray?

Child, it seems you have wandered off the path and gotten distracted by many things. Fix your eyes and your heart on Me for I am your King and your Source of all you need, whether it’s finances, strength, wisdom, peace, or even faith. I can provide all you need.

For now, just focus on the joy of My Presence and allow Me to take care of all the rest of your concerns. If you focus on My Presence, you will be filled with My joy and that can enable you to survive the struggles of life. Being filled with My joy guarantees joy victory no matter the circumstances for I am victory. I delight in bringing victory to what looks like defeat. To the world My cross looked like defeat, but to Me, My cross brought victory, for I am victory.  I love you, child, and I give to you the gift of victory, victory over your sins, victory over defeat, victory over worry, and victory over fear. I am victorious, therefore all of Mine are victorious, including you. 10-14-16 072

 Don’t look at what you see, instead look at Me.  How many times have I spoke to  you about this? 

Uh. . . .

When your eyes are on the circumstances, you see overwhelming mountains of possible defeats everywhere you look. But when your eyes are on Me, you see My victory and therefore your victory as well. For I freely give to those I love, who are Mine, a life of victory no matter the circumstances.


Yes, there is victory even in death. The world sees death as the end of life, but through Me, death is the beginning of life.

Yes, there is even victory in suffering.

Lord, that’s one I question You about. How can there be victory in suffering?

Child, I am there with them, right by their side. I am closer to those suffering than those who are not. For I suffered the greatest suffering on My cross and I know their pain. Therefore I am closer to those suffering and I hold them in  My arms until I take them home to be with Me in Paradise. They are the victorious.

Lord, I’m ashamed because I  struggle with cake, ice cream, and cookies. Oh, and credit cards too. Please forgive my silly , whiney, stupid ways. Help me to follow You completely in all I say and do. Renew my mind so it seeks Your will above all else, for nothing else matters. Only You matter. Lord, I want more of You.

Child, the way to get more of Me is to give yourself to Me completely. Allow Me to have control of all of you. Give up your dreams, your wishes, and your desires. Desire Me above all else, and I will take care of all else.

Here I am Lord. I give myself to You. Do with me as You wish. Fill my heart  and my mind with Yourself. I want to be Yours.

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But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.     
1 Corinthians 15:57
Yours, O Lord, is the greatness, The power and the glory, The victory and the majesty; For all that is in heaven and in earth is Yours; Yours is the kingdom, O Lord, And You are exalted as head over all.
1 Chronicles 29:11
So when this corruptible has put on incorruption, and this mortal has put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written: “Death is swallowed up in victory. O Death, where is your sting? O Hades, where is your victory?”  1 Corinthians 15:54-55

For whatever is born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith. 1 John 5:4

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Rejected by Friends

Lord, I feel so rejected by my friends. What do You want from me?

Your love.  IMG_9670

Lord, I do love You. Thank You for loving me, but I feel so unlovable now. After all I just didn’t measure up to their standards and  I can’t be what they think I should be. To change myself so I fit in their status mold, not mine, makes me feel so uneasy. After all, their mold doesn’t fit me. For instance, it feels like a tight squeezing shoe or a sock that falls down all day. I just didn’t fit in their group, but the rejection hurts.

Continue reading Rejected by Friends

Medicine For Your Soul

You take medicine when sick. So a little spiritual medicine for the soul will keep you strong. Tomorrow, you can take these as needed. You may print them and then place these spiritual medicines on the front of your refrigerator.  As soon as you’re tempted to overeat, use these spiritual weapons to resist temptation. img_1734 Continue reading Medicine For Your Soul

CONFESSION

My Confession in 2013.

Here I am again Lord, all bloated, full, miserable, and ashamed, wondering, “How did I get here?”  I sense that my overeating has created a gulf between me and You. I feel that as I overfed my fleshly desires, your presence left. Didn’t I say yesterday that I wanted to be free of this bondage? Then last night, I was in the kitchen stuffing my face until well after 10p.m. Lord, how can I ever break free from this vicious cycle of defeat? Continue reading CONFESSION