Anticipated New Beginning With Expectation

 

Lord, is it possible to have a new beginning with You again? Could You forgive me about last nights ice cream? Oh, and the cookies, chips, nuts, and granola bar too. Please forgive me for last night’s binge. And, thank you the scales didn’t go up this morning. That’s a sure miracle. Your mercy amazes me, especially with all my mess-ups. and backsliding.

My friend has been fasting in prayer for her brother who’s sick. She’s lost noticeable weight and looks good too. Yes, I do want to lose more weight, but I also want to maintain the fullness of Your Presence. I want to feel victorious so I can pray without feeling ashamed due to my own sins of gluttony. It’s my desire to make You proud as I eat in submission to Your will. You know what’s best for my body and I trust You. I just have a weakness resisting pleasure food. Help me, allow me to start over again with You.

Child, I’m the God of many second chances. I died so that you (and others too) could be cleansed and delivered from ALL sins. I died so that you could enter into the Almighty Presence of God. None is worthy. No, not one. It’s only because of the price I paid, the shedding of My blood as a sacrifice – the price I gave freely so that you and others could enter in My Presence. 

Lord, how can I make You proud?

Love Me, seek Me, and trust Me. Listen and obey, for there is no other way. There’s much truth in that child’s song. Let the little children lead you. Behold, how easily they trust and love. You should do the same. Follow their example. There’s much truth in the saying, “The little children shall lead them.”

Okay Lord, I’ll try. But I need Your guidance. How do You want me to eat so I can be a testimony of Your forgiveness and Your delivering power?  Others who are struggling need to know You can deliver them, especially when what they need is deliverance from their own selves? That’s what causes most of all my problems- self, myself.

Lord, do You want me to eat only two meals a day or just three meals a day, give up all desserts, or just give all my favorite pleasure foods? Do I wait until I am physically hungry to eat? Do I only eat half portions? Should I get hungry and stay hungry?

Yesterday I started out with intentions to eating only two meals. Then I got real hungry and ate past full. Later last night, I rationalized that ice cream could be my third meal. Well, we both know where that led to – another binge. I should have drank something instead.

Now I’m at another bottom with my weight. This is the biggest I’ve since 2014. I want my size 10 pants back. Where do You want me with my eating and my weight? Help me obey You and eat what is good for this body You gave me. I want to become stronger, both physically and spiritually, mentally too.

Child, as You seek My will for your eating, some days you’ll be led to eat only two meals, and some days three meals. Occasionally, I may lead you to eat no meals. Each day will be a new beginning. These new beginnings won’t be the same as a new beginning after a binge, but a new day of learning to trust Me and walking in My will.

I want you to learn how to trust, listen, and then obey as I lead you. With each new day as you practice these skills, You will grow stronger. Again, your focus is not to follow rules, but instead your focus will be to deny yourself and follow Me. I want you to learn how to deny yourself and become stronger in My Presence. When your self is completely defeated, then your victory is achieved. Self is your enemy. You must learn and become efficient in defeating self.

This watermelon weighs 190 pounds. Thank you Lord, that’s more than me!

Thank you Lord for talking with me and giving me Your instructions yet another time in my struggles with this food addiction. I’m amazed over Your mercy and Your love toward me. You have shown me yet another time of mercy.  This I know, I don’t deserve Your love. I can’t earn it, but I want it. Thank you for loving me. Help me to please You in every way that I am or ever will be.

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                        . . . do not worry about your life, what you will eat nor about the body, what you will put on. Life is more than food and the body is more than clothing. Luke 12:22-23. 

. . . choose life, . . . that you may love the Lord your God, that you may obey His voice, and that you may cling to Him, for He is your life . . . Deuteronomy 30: 19-20

Grace, mercy, and peace will be with you from God the Father and from the Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of the Father, in truth and love. 2 John 1:3 

2 thoughts on “Anticipated New Beginning With Expectation”

  1. Debbie,
    I love reading your conversations with God- though sometimes I feel I am eavesdropping. The ice cream binge- that was really funny. Are you going through some stressful times ? Maybe you need to share with the Lord what is really bothering you ?( if you are emotionally eating).
    I will pray that you get into the size 10 pants again and if it is any consolation, I don’t get into size 10 pants or weigh less than 190lbs.
    I am trying though.
    Susie

    1. Susie,
      You are such a wonderful friend. I treasure my friendship with you. I share my conversations with God to encourage others, not just in their weight loss endeavors but to also know that my Jesus Christ can be their best friend and confidant. I want to encourage others to talk with Him their selves, to get to know Him, to seek His Presence, and to know His love.
      It is true I’m an emotional eater, but I also know I’m a “food drunk” with a food addiction. Other people get drunk, I have binged greatly. It would shock you I think if you only knew how I am about food. But it is through seeking God’s presence that I can ever be free.
      Thank you for your prayers.
      Your friend,
      Debbie

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