IMG_9563[I wrote this over a year ago. I have struggled with this overeating issue for most of my life, but praise God, I now see victory!]

Good morning, Lord. How? How? How can You stand me?

(My child, I love you!)

Lord, I don’t deserve Your love at all.

(I do love you!)

Lord, why would You love me? Why?

(Because you are My child. I will discipline you, but nothing can take away My love for you. You know that, even with your own child in his rebellion, you are still concerned and you still love him, you know you do. I still love you as well.

My child, even though you get mad at Me when you don’t think I am doing things the way you think I should, and even though you whine and complain, have a rotten attitude, [yes, I said “rotten”], even though you specialize in pity parties, run to food for comfort, and to sedate yourself, [yes, I said “sedate”], My child, even with your sins, I STILL LOVE YOU!)

But Lord, I don’t deserve Your love!

(My child, I shed My blood for you! Therefore, you are Mine. I love you!)

Lord, I can’t, I don’t know how to stop overeating. I constantly am putting my face in the feeding trough. We have discussed this many, many times. I have asked forgiveness many, any times. Yet, You say You still love me,  I don’t know how You could? How, why do You still love me?

(Because of My blood and My love for you.)

Lord, repentance means to turn away from your sin. Lord, I do turn away from this gluttony for a while, have some success in weight loss, and then when I feel pressure from the stresses of life, I run back to the food for pleasure and comfort. Will I ever have victory over this sin of gluttony?

(Yes, My child, you will have victory.)

Lord, will victory over food only come by my death?

(No, My child, victory will come to you in this life, for I have already sent victory to you. Victory is coming your way.)

Lord, I have done everything I know how to break free from this bondage to overeat and it seems as though nothing, NOTHING has long-term success. What am I to do? I didn’t even succeed with a sponsor or accountability partner.

(My child, come to Me. Allow Me to become your first sponsor and your first accountability partner. You must depend on Me to guide you!

In your past, I told you that I would be your counselor. Now, I am telling you that I will be your sponsor. Come to Me first about everything in your life! Now,  get your “Celebrate Recovery” handbook, go back to the beginning and tell Me what you see.)

Alright Lord, I saw this. . . “After you have completed the exercise, share it with someone you trust” . . . “You do not recover from your hurts, hang-ups, and habits just by attending recovery meetings.”

(Uh Huh! My child, you have not been working the assignments or sharing with anyone. You have only called your so-called accountability partners occasionally to say, “I have been good today” with no food plan or sharing of assignments. What kind of commitment is that?)

Okay, Lord, I also saw Principle 1, . . “I realize I’m not God. I admit that I am powerless to control my tendency to do the wrong thing and that my life is unmanageable”. . . . “Happy are those who know they are spiritually poor” Matthew 5:3.  . . .Lord, this is me, now what?

(Come to Me, My child, come to me for I will heal you, I will deliver you!)

Oh Lord, how can I be sure? How can I believe,  when all I see in my failure?

(My child, if you will only look at Me, you will only see victory! For I AM VICTORY!!)

Alright Lord, open my eyes so that I may see You, open my ears so that I may hear Your voice, and open my heart so that I may experience Your love. Lord, You be my sponsor, my partner, and my counselor! I give it all to You!

. . . . God, who gives life to the dead and calls those things which do not exist as though they did; who, contrary to hope, in hope believed, . . .         Romans 4:17-18 NKJV

— Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us. for when we were still without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly.                       Romans 5: 5-6 NKJV

— But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were  still sinners, Christ died for us. Much more then , having now been justified from wrath through Him.         Romans 5:8-9 NKJV