Lord, I am so hungry now! I want to eat everything, everything I can find! My stomach is even hurting with hunger! Lord, I need you to tell me what to do! I feel as though I am starving now! Lord, I want to eat a whole box of cereal, all the chips, with cheese, and all the cake left over from last week. Lord, I would like to eat a whole can of hot soup with crackers and swiss cheese. Lord, I would like to eat until I am sick and then go to bed. I would like to eat all night while watching anything I wanted on television. Husband is not here and I would have control of the remote. Lord, I feel as though my guts are screaming, screaming loudly with pain . . .”FEED ME NOW!”
Lord, I know that if I start eating now, I will not stop until I am sick; therefore, I came to talk to You. I feel as though this screaming hunger is because I ate too much at the buffet today at lunch even though I was careful to only eat half of everything. I feel as though once I give too much to this screaming monster inside of me, it grows larger and demands to be fed even more.
Lord, I know it was wrong to manipulate my food at the buffet with the rationalization thinking that I would give up supper to make up for it. Disobedience only breeds disobedience. When I decided that I could give up my supper to eat all that I did at lunch, I was again manipulating to have what I wanted, when I wanted it. Lord, help me!
Lord, is this to punish me? I don’t know if I can handle watching this portrayal of Your intense suffering.
(No My child, it is not to punish you. I want to show you something.)
Okay . . . I got the DVD and put it into the DVD player . Between three different remotes to three different machines and the mystery of these endless buttons, I couldn’t get the DVD player to work at all! So I called my husband on the phone, “Please tell me how to turn on this DVD player.” He tried to talk me through the process patiently, but with no success for either of us. He expressed his amazement at my lack of understanding of this equipment. So we agreed that he would give me lessons on using the DVD player as soon as possible and then we hung up the phone due to both of our frustrations. Then I continued to try to figure out this machine by pushing any button on the remote that looks reasonable.
Finally, out of desperation, I laid my hands on the DVD player and prayed over it. Then I pushed more buttons. Suddenly, I could get the sound, but no picture. I prayed loudly, “Lord, if You want me to see this movie, You are going to have to help me make it work!” I pushed all the same buttons again. All of a sudden the movie began playing with both sound and picture. Wow! Immediately, I called my husband, “It’s working now!” He asked, “How did you get it to work?” I replied, “I don’t know, I just prayed for it!” My husband then laughed as we hung up.
Finally, I settled down to watch as this movie portrayed my Savior at the Cross. All throughout the movie, I wondered, “What does the Lord want to show me?” After the movie had finished, I began to ask the Lord about it. “Lord, I remember the first time I watched this movie You spoke to my heart then and said, “By My stripes, you are healed.” Was that what You wanted to show me, this time also?”
Did You want to show me was that since You shed Your blood for me, the least I could do is give up a meal or two?
Did You want to show me how difficult it was for You to carry the cross and that this struggle with food is my cross to bear?
Did you want to show me that I need someone to be my “diet partner” since You had someone to help carry the Cross for You ?
Well Lord, I guess I just missed it totally, what did You want to show me?
(I love you. This is what I wanted to show you. I LOVE YOU!)
Oh. . . Lord, I love You too! Forgive me.
I am amazed! He really loves me! Wow! Who am I that He should love me so much that He was willing to die for me? Wow!
I John 4:10 NKJV: In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.
I John 4:19NKJV: We love Him because He first loved us.